Riley patted his cheek, a little too hard, then let go. “Anytime, Hayes. Now get back in there and don’t fuck it up.”
They gathered two armfuls of wood, barely enough for an excuse, and trudged back to camp. As Ethan stepped into the fire’s circle, he felt something new settle over him: a readiness, a hunger, a sense that maybe, just maybe, he was finally allowed to be exactly what he was.
He looked at Cole, who was staring into the flames like he could will the universe into making sense.
Ethan smiled, and this time, he didn’t look away.
The bourbon had dwindled to its final half-inch. Jack was sprawled backward, hands behind his head, gazing up at the spray of Milky Way overhead.
“Shit, I’m too crossed for existence,” Harper declared, standing up on wobbly legs. She overcorrected, nearly toppled,then righted herself with a flourish. “If anyone wakes me up before sunrise, I’ll bury you in a shallow grave. Night, losers.” She pointed a lazy finger at each of them, but her eyes lingered on Ethan for half a beat, soft and proud.
Jack managed to pull himself upright, peering at the dark perimeter. “I have to piss really bad and I feel nauseous. I am going to go try and walk it off.” He wandered off, not quite in a straight line.
Riley watched him go, then turned back to the fire, the light carving deep shadows into his face. He caught Ethan’s eye, smiled gently, then yawned, big and performative. “That’s my cue,” Riley said. He stretched, bones cracking, then patted Ethan’s shoulder. “Enjoy the stars, yeah?”
And just like that, Ethan and Cole were alone.
For a minute, neither moved. The silence was charged, but not awkward—more like the whole world was holding its breath. The fire’s heat pressed against Ethan’s bare chest, still tingling from the cold.
Cole didn’t speak, he just stared into the flames, jaw flexing as if he was working through a lifetime of words.
Chapter 11 - Ethan
The air between them was tight and viscous, sticky with smoke, resin, and the kind of silent pressure that made a man want to crawl out of his own skin. Cole didn’t say a thing, just watched the fire die slow, his face lit up in the shifting orange and blue. Ethan let himself lean into the silence, the bitter hum of weed and bourbon softening everything except the pulse in his chest. If there was a right way to start, he had no clue.
The fire coughed sparks, lighting up a quick slice of Cole’s jawline. Ethan watched how the muscles tensed and relaxed, how his hands curled on his knees. He wanted to talk but didn’t want to break the spell.
Cole beat him to it. “Hell of a day,” he said, voice thick. “Thought we were gonna lose Jack to the river.”
Ethan smirked, trying for lightness. “Yeah, and who would make all the bad jokes then?”
Cole actually smiled. “Wouldn’t be the same.” He glanced at Ethan, really looked, then went back to the flames.
It could have gone on like that forever—two men hiding in the noise of the world—but the liquor sloshed a little courage to the surface.
Cole poked at the coals with a stick, watched embers collapse, then let his shoulders drop, the last bit of tension running out with the night air.
“Got a question for you,” Ethan said, not quite meeting Cole’s eyes.
Cole nodded, waiting.
“You ever get—” Ethan started, then stopped. He blew out a breath, scratched the side of his nose, then tried again. “On the trail, or just out in the woods, you ever get so horny you can’t think straight?”
Cole laughed, a little too loud. “Yeah.”
Ethan’s face went hot. He tried to mask it, but the buzz stripped him bare. “I’m hard more than I’m not. Especially out here, away from all the shit.”
Cole grunted. “Same.” He looked away, then back, slow. “Didn’t think it was normal.”
“It’s normal,” Ethan said, voice catching. “I mean, I hope it is, because I’d hate to be the only pervert here.”
A slow grin crept over Cole’s face. “You’re definitely not.”
The air shifted. He ran with it. “When you run these trips, how do you deal with it?”
Cole looked up at the sky, thinking. “I don’t. I try to stay busy. Try to ignore it. Sometimes I jerk off in my tent or the woods, if it gets bad. You?”
Ethan smiled. “Same, I’m guilty of the quick jerk and bust to get that relief and then move on.” He let the confession hang.
