“Let’s get to headquarters to assemble a search team. Maybe I can redeem myself if we catch her.” Sterling headed down the street, still holding my hand.
“Sterling, do they know we’re together? Is that why you got demoted?” I asked, hurrying to follow him.
“I got demoted for being ‘too soft.’”
“I like that you’re soft,” I said.
He smiled at me, but it fell away. “Cassian…arewe together?” he asked.
“I’d like if we were,” I said, my heart pounding. Maybe I misread this.
Sterling paused before saying, “I don’t want you to push me away because you’re afraid I’ll leave. We don’t have to talk about this now, but we need to have a serious discussion about our future if you can’t handle that I live in Ladiall and you don’t.”
“I’ll sell the inn and move back,” I said, squeezing his hand tighter.
He angled his head. “I don’t think you want that.”
How did everyone know but me? “I don’t want to be without you.”
Sterling sighed. “Like I said, we don’t have to talk about this now, but… uh, you should know…” He looked away but said nothing more.
“What?” I asked. My stomach twisted. What bad news did he have for me?
He stopped walking and faced me to look into my eyes. He looked so tired, and… scared? “Cassian, I…”
“What is it, Sterling?” I asked gently. “You can tell me. Is it bad? Did you—did you find someone else?” That would serve me right, and it wouldn’t be surprising. Sterling was the kindest, smartest, and hottest man I’d ever met. Half of Ladiall was probably already in love with him.
“No!” he said, and then he laughed. “There is no one but you. I’m trying to tell you something that’s hard for me to say, because… I don’t know. It terrifies me.”
“You can tell me anything,” I said.
“I know,” he said. He took my other hand, lifting it to his face to kiss my knuckles. He closed his eyes and said, “I’m falling in love with you, Cassian.”
I broke into a smile. Sterling loved me. I felt like I could get through anything with that knowledge.
Sterling’s eyes were still closed, so he couldn’t see how happy he made me. His face pinched in fear as he continued, “I don’t know how you see us, but that’s how I feel. I’m sorry if it doesn’t mean that much to you, but I’ve never felt this way before, and it’s terrifying to think I could lose you. I need a definite answer at some point. I don’t want to keep wondering.” He finally opened his eyes. I don’t know what he expected to see, because his tense expression eased at the sight of me.
“I love you too, Sterling,” I said.
His smile cleared away most of the fear, but some of it stuck around his eyes. “You do?” he asked.
“I do. We’ll figure it out. I want to be with you more than anything,” I said.
He pulled me into his arms and squeezed me. I hugged him back, burrowing my face into his chest. We stayed like this longer than we should have until Sterling said, “Jasmine’s getting away…”
I sighed heavily, refusing to let him go. The contrast between holding the man I loved and turning in my cousin for betraying me was too stark to easily release him, but Sterling let me go first. My eyes wouldn’t move off him while he scanned the street one last time. I couldn’t believe he wanted to stick around forme.
When we arrived at headquarters, Sterling released my hand. The room fell silent when we entered. Apparently, his presence here was unexpected.
“What are you doing here, Thorndrop?” a tall woman near the front asked.
“I need to speak with Commander Decker,” Sterling said.
The woman exchanged a look with another officer. “Do you have an appointment?” she asked.
“Don’t be like that, Frank,” Sterling said. “Is she with someone?”
“No, but?—”
