I nodded, smiling at him.
“Okay…” His gaze fell, and he cleared his throat. “I, uh… My favorite memory was probably… Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
He sighed. “All right. My parents were… not great people. They often disappeared for days at a time, leaving me to fend for myself. One day, our houselord arrived to collect rent, but they weren’t home. We were several months overdue, and this was our last chance, so he kicked us out. It was just me, though. I was on the streets, alone, hungry, and I didn’t know where my parents were. I found a bench across from a local shop where I thought I could sleep for the night. I stayed there all day, not knowing where else to go, and eventually, the shopkeeper came out to ask me what I was doing. I thought I was in trouble, but she was very nice to me. She brought me inside and gave me dinner and a bed to sleep in, and when I told her I didn’t know where my parents were, she said I could stay there as long as I liked. I was there longer than I would have survived on my own, and there was a very brief window of time where I hopedthey wouldn’t return, but… they did. And they were angry that the shopkeeper had taken care of me, demanding she relinquish me. She fought for me, though. She said they had no right to be parents if they abandoned their child for so long, but she had to give me back to them when they threatened to call the Force. Now that I know better, I wish they had. Anyway… That’s my favorite memory. I saw what normal was for one quiet week.”
A silence passed while I processed his story. My heart ached for young Sterling, who deserved so much better. I didn’t want him to feel that pain again. “Never give that memory up, Sterling,” I said, smiling at him. “That woman deserves to be remembered for taking care of you when you needed her.”
Sterling wouldn’t look at me, but he smiled wistfully. “That woman is the reason I strive to help people. It meant everything to me that she went out of her way to care for me. She probably doesn’t remember me, but she was a very important part of my life.”
“She remembers you. Did you ever try to find her?” I asked.
“I didn’t want to bother her.”
“You should seek her out.” I didn’t know he felt so unimportant. He needed to know he deserved more than the neglect he was raised with. I reached across the table to squeeze his hand, and he looked up with surprise in his pretty gray eyes. “It wasn’t your fault. You know that, right?”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”
“Your parents neglecting you. It wasn’t your fault. You deserve the love and kindness the shopkeeper showed you. You deserve a lifetime of love and happiness.”
“So do you, Cassian,” he said, brushing his thumb along my hand. My instinct told me to pull away, but I didn’t. “I’ve never met anyone as kind as you.”
Maybe I was wrong about Sterling. I was afraid he’d use me and leave me like everyone else, but he clearly knew how badit felt to be left behind. I wanted to apologize for pushing him away, but I didn’t know how to say it.
The moment passed before I found the words. Sterling released my hand to eat his pastry, and I watched him. It had been a while since I had been this enamored by someone. I never knew the sight of a man eating a cinnamon bun could be so fascinating, but everything he did was interesting to me.
“What?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow at me.
“Sorry,” I said, returning to my raspberry tart to keep myself from staring.
“Cassian…” He waited until I looked up to continue speaking. “You obviously like me, and I like you too. Why are you suddenly so distant?” he asked.
I appreciated the straightforward question, because I didn’t know how to address it myself. “It scares me how much I like you, Sterling. The last time I felt this way about someone, he disappeared after the first night we spent together.”
“That guy was an idiot,” Sterling said. “Did he have any idea what he was walking away from?”
I smiled against my will, looking away as my cheeks warmed. “Doyouhave any idea? I’m a mess,” I said.
“You heard my favorite childhood memory, didn’t you?” he asked.
I laughed. “That doesn’t make you a mess.”
He shrugged. “Well, I’m not perfect, and I don’t expect you to be either, no matter how perfect you seem.”
I couldn’t hide my smile from him. “I’ll try not to be so distant.”
“Good, because I’m not going anywhere,” he said.
I just had to trust that he wasn’t lying.
STERLING
When we arrived at the inn that afternoon, Cassian and I got back to work. He relieved Jasmine of counter duty while I wandered to the kitchen to chat with Olive.
“Sterling!” Olive beamed at me while she scrubbed a tub full of dirty dishes. “How was Dreckle?”
“Lovely. Dreckle is very charming. Has it been busy?” I asked.
