I hid my face against his chest and sighed. I didn’t know they made men like him, who admired that about me instead of ignoring it to see me in the way that made me attractive to them.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t—uh…” he stammered.
“You didn’t say anything wrong.” I kissed his sternum. “You’re very sweet.” His warm skin was a comfort I was not yetfamiliar with, but I wanted to be. I wanted him in my bed every night.
“You seem sad,” Sterling said.
“I am sad.”
“Why? Was—was I that bad?” he whispered.
I smiled, knowing he couldn’t see. “The opposite, actually.”
“I was so good you’re afraid you’ll never have an experience like that again?” he asked.
“Something like that.”
The soft sound of his laugh made me feel at home in his arms. “I have to admit, I’m worried about the same thing. This doesn’t have to be a one-time thing.”
I hugged him tighter, pressing my cheek to his warm skin. If we did this again, my feelings for him would grow until he went back to Ladiall, leaving my heart in pieces. It seemed to be about the sex for him, but I wasn’t good at separating physical affection from real affection. If he kept fucking me like this, I would fall in love with him.
I couldn’t let that happen.
STERLING
When I woke up in the morning, Cassian was already dressed and ready for the day in his long black cloak and usual dark attire. He left my morning coffee on the nightstand, too busy with the morning rush to sit with me for even a minute.
Something was off about him that morning. When he finally came to collect me for our trip into Dreckle, he couldn’t look me in the eye, and I wondered if I had done something to upset him.
Dreckle was a two-hour walk up the road through snow and ice. It would’ve been an uncomfortable journey, but having Cassian there made it better. Still, he fixed his eyes on the trail and didn’t speak much.
“Are you all right, Cassian?” I asked.
He gave me a quick, tight smile and said, “Everything’s great.”
“You seem bothered by something. Are you upset with me?”
“No, Sterling. Not at all,” he said, but the tone of his voice was solemn.
“Thank you for sharing your bed with me. Last night was fun,” I said, suspecting his dark mood was related.
He glanced at me, smiling shyly. Gods, he was adorable. “Sure. I’ll make sure you have your own room tonight so you don’t have to share with me anymore.”
“But I like sharing with you.”
His smile fell away, and he looked ahead. “That’s the problem, Sterling. I like sharing with you too.”
“That doesn’t sound like a problem,” I said.
Cassian shook his head, but he wouldn’t talk about it anymore. I didn’t know how to get him back, and I was using too much of my brainpower trying to figure it out. I needed to focus on the case, so I dropped it and tried not to think about him or his brilliant smile or his beautiful personality or his gorgeous body anymore. It wasn’t easy.
Snow blanketed Dreckle, but it was alive with lit street lamps along the main road, and the snow had been shoveled away for morning pedestrians. The smell of cinnamon and warm dough drifted from a bakery with windows that emitted a warm glow. Across the street from the bakery was a bookshop that hadn’t yet opened for the day, but the owner could be seen through the window reading and drinking out of a steaming mug by dim lamplight.
Cassian led me through the delightful town until we reached the end of the main road. He stopped at the plainest brick house on the street. Black curtains hid the dark interior from inside, and the lamp out front was unlit.
Cassian frowned at a scrap of paper in his delicate hands before fixing his gaze on the building. “This should be it.”
“It looks abandoned,” I said.
