My thoughts shifted towards the Lysian, who continued to surprise me with his gentleness. Kiora had been right.Something did pull me towards him, and I did not seem able to help it.
Erik was predatory the way Lysains were always told to be, yet he was also kind and capable of compassion. He drew me in until suddenly, he seemed to become a light in the darkness that surrounded me. As much as I tried not to rely on that light, it was constantly there, warming my cold skin, and trying to melt my frozen heart. Though it brought me warmth, it also brought danger.
A flame of light was helpful when managed and kept at a safe distance, yet he was not one to be controlled. Getting too close to a flame risked being burned. Was it worth it to brave that fire?
I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling while my mind continued its whirlwind of confusion. Concentration eluded me, for I couldn’t think of one thing long enough to form a coherent thought or opinion. My thoughts were made of shattered glass, and ideas bounced around like reflected light from a flickering flame.
A knock at the door pulled my attention, giving me something concrete to focus on.
“Come in.” I sat up.
The door opened, and Erik’s sapphire eyes found mine.
4
ARIANA
“I’m not disturbing you, am I?” Erik asked, standing on the threshold.
Warmth spread through the room at his presence.
“Only disturbing the tumultuous thoughts of a Bavadrin who seems to continuously find herself in precarious situations,” I said.
Erik looked as though he did not know how to reply to that statement.
I offered him a small smile. “It’s fine. I welcome the distraction of your presence.” I patted the open space on my bed, inviting him to have a seat.
Gently, he shut the door behind him and looked over towards a chair in the room before returning his attention to the bed. Finally, he walked over, taking a seat beside me.
It was the first time we had been alone together since my return home.
His proximity sent my pulse climbing. Dark eyes turned to me, holding me captive. I was freed from the prison of hishome, yet his nearness caged me, and I couldn’t escape the pull he had.I never could.
“How are you doing?” he asked, concern gracing his features. His brown hair was brushed back, highlighting the strong angles of his face. Strikingly handsome, that’s what he was.
How to answer such a question? I shrugged. “I’m as well as can be expected, I suppose.”
His gaze remained on me, heavy and intense. “I’m sorry about Landin,” he murmured, and suddenly my heart hurt once again. I found myself jumping to my feet and walking across the room to look out a window. Wrapping my arms around myself for warmth, I tried to keep from spiraling back into that darkness which I just managed to partially crawl out of.
“I appreciate your concern Erik, but that is not something I wish to talk about right now.” Not when I finally began thinking about other things besides Landin’s death. Even though my mind remained fragmented, it was better than being entirely swallowed by the pain of losing him.
Silence spread through the room. Though I faced the window, I could sense Erik’s attention on me. “Are you certain that you want to go through with giving yourself up to the Sidhe?”
I sighed and turned to face him, leaning on the windowsill. “It is not something I want to do, but yes, I will go through with it. This is also another matter I do not wish to discuss any further. If you have come here just to sway me from my decision, then I would prefer you leave.”
Erik’s gaze darkened, the air around him thickening. “Ariana, I’m not trying to control you. I know you are free to decidewhat you think is right for your people.” He stood from the bed. “Will you accept help from the Lysians if this ends in war?”
“Of course, I will, but you will need to flush that out with Willis. There may be spies here, and I don’t doubt there may be some in your lands too. It makes sense. How else would the Sidhe know how to target conjurors and know so much about me? Because of that, I don’t want your forces moved to my lands, not yet, anyway. We need to keep the Sidhe in the dark for as long as possible.”
He chewed on his lip as though in thought. “Would you approve of Iver coming here?”
Surprised, I searched Erik’s face for any hint of a reason. “Your brother? Why?”
There was a moment of hesitation. “I think he is a conjuror.”
Think? He did not know such a thing? “What kind?” I asked.
Erik sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I actually am not sure. He has kept that part of himself hidden from me and everyone we know. But there are things he can do that make no sense if he did not have gifts.”
