A strange numbness enveloped me, holding me incredibly tightly. I felt detached. Like I was not actually living my life but viewing it while moving amongst the world. I was not myself and instead just a shell of who I had always been. Some foreign version of a girl I never got the chance to be. I loathed it.
I wanted to feel something other than that numbness. Yet, no amount of thought, meditation, or attempt at escape allowed me to get past it. A deep dark wall imprisoned me with my pain. I feared losing myself to the cruelness of the world.
Death was not the end. Landin lived with the Spirit now in a land of light. Even though I told myself that, it did nothing to help me feel better. He was gone, torn away from my life and from Willis. My chest hurt thinking of Willis.
Moving a hand through the water, I felt the weightlessness of its pressure. What I would do to drown out the noise inside of me. Holding my breath, I dipped my head under, keeping it there until my lungs burned for air, forcing me to come up. Rubbing the water from my face, my gaze landed on the cloak. Erik.
The anger of my decision had been written all over the Lysian King’s face when I informed everyone that I would soon leave for the Sidhe. Did they genuinely think I wanted any of this? I wanted nothing more than to remain with them. To feel safe, surrounded by those I trusted and cared for. But that was not what fate had planned for me.
What was fate but the sister to death? Fate wrapped the rope of life around every living being, weaving knots of trials,twists of fortune, and turns of heartbreak. Over time the ropes grow heavier, dragging their bearers down, threatening to crush them beneath their weight. And when the burden becomes too great, fate passes the soul to her brother, and death has his way. Every destined path ultimately led to the same ending. Death.
Even Clause, with all his grandeur and control, would eventually find that his fate, in the end, did not differ from any other. His vast power was not indefinite. I refused to believe he was an exception to this rule of fate and death. If he wished to keep me close, then I would become his tether. I would tighten the threads, weigh him down, and edge him closer to his own ending.
The water surrounding my body cooled, and I forced myself out of the tub. I moved with heavy limbs, feeling as though nearly all the energy leached from me. After struggling to put on clean clothing, I made my way to the bed, but rest never came.
No matter the exhaustion, my mind would not give me peace. Instead, it trapped me in a barless prison of thoughts. Ideas went in circles that never led anywhere. Around and around, in never-ending loops. I was going to drive myself mad.
A knock came from the door, startling me from one of those looping thoughts. Whoever it was did not wait for my response. They jiggled the handle, finding it unlocked, and strolled right in.
“Kiora.” I forced myself to smile. It was good to see a familiar face, giving me something else to focus on.
“Ariana,” she stated, no smile in sight. Closing the door behind her with a kick of her foot, she made her way towards me, carrying a tray of food. Wisps of heated moisture rose from the warm tea she was careful not to spill. Setting the tray downon the table next to the bed, Kiora plopped down beside me. “How are you doing?” She asked.
“I have been better,” I admitted, looking at the tray before turning my attention to her. “You aren’t mad at me?” The last time we spoke, she had been livid.
“I am furious with you. But I can hold a grudge while still caring about a friend.” She brought her legs up onto the bed, crossing them at the ankles as she leaned back against the wall.
I mimicked her, leaning against the wall. “After all these years. I’m happy I got to see you again before...” My voice trailed off, for I was unsure how to end the sentence.Before I left for the Sidhe for who knows how long?It didn’t seem like a good topic to bring up with her.
“Just remember what I said. If you die, I will find you in the Spirit realm and kill you all over again.” Hazel eyes cut to me, and it was clear that she meant every word.
Despite her anger, a warmth in my chest spread at her presence. “I’m glad you’re here with me.”
She nodded, looking down at the tray between us. “You know, I came here one time after the Sparrows were told to leave by your father. You were still young, as was I. I saw you with him, with Landin. The two of you were laughing about something, and I remember feeling such jealousy. It sounds silly now, but back then, it felt as though I had been replaced.”
Her words stunned me, for I never knew any of this. She returned? “Kiora, no one could ever replace you.”
She smiled sadly. “I know. Your heart is large enough to love more than one person. But like I said, I was young and didn’t know any better. So, I left without you ever knowing that I even snuck into the city to see you. Though I did not know Landin and spent most of my life secretly hating him, I also amthankful for him. He was there for you when I was unable to be. And I am so sorry, Ariana.”
I reached for her hand, taking it in mine. “You have nothing to feel sorry for.Nothing.”
She smiled sadly. “Neither do you.” Her gaze settled on the tray of food and she nodded towards it. “Eat something. Tomorrow, you begin training, and you will need your strength to survive what we have in store for you.”
I moaned in mock protest, yet took a piece of bread and cheese and scarfed it down.
Kiora shifted lower in the bed and lay down beside me. After finishing the bread, I joined her, and we both stared at the ceiling. She said nothing, but her presence alone was a welcomed one. Kiora felt like home to me, even though we had been apart for such a long time. She was still my Kiora, and I was hers in return. It was as though no time had passed since we parted years ago, even though we were now older. Fate brought us together once more, and I feared where it would take us next.
I did not know how much time passed before Kiora finally turned onto her side and looked at me. “You know, that Lysian King is smitten with you,” she stated, a crooked smile finding its way to her lips.
I snorted. “Yeah, sure.” Yet, my face warmed at her comment.
Kiora bit her lip, a devious look in her eyes. “Have you two... you know.” Her smile morphed into a mischievous grin.
“What? No!” Not quite a lie. I never slept with him, which was what she was insinuating.
Her gaze narrowed even further. “Oh, please. I may not be a Lysian, but I am not blind. He is an attractive specimen, but more than that, I see the way you both look at one another.There is definitely something there. There’s no point in trying to hide it from me.”
I shifted onto my side, facing her. “And what way do we look at one another?”
