He viewed me, some of his joy disappearing. “You are wrong. I know what it is to love.” The way his voice softened had me nearly believing him.
The response took me by surprise. “You do?”
“I have had a mate.” His lips curved into a sad smile, and he turned from me, looking out over the small pond. “She was exquisite.”
I couldn’t imagine it, Clause loving someone, choosing to let someone come close, caring for one another. “What happened?”
He turned back to me. “She was a lot like you. Spirited, fierce, never afraid to challenge me.” He smiled softly at whatever memory those words triggered for him. “We loved one another. She was my partner. My equal.”
“A conjurer?”
He nodded. “Yes. Mist, like you. She could become it, as I think you can too.”
“Become it?” My eyes grew larger as I viewed him. He was divulging so much information, breadcrumbs thrown left and right. I did not know which trail to follow.
“She also had a gift from both the light and dark Spirits. Sometimes there is a perfect mixture of both. To where your soul ties to the dark spirit’s world as a tether, allowing your body to dissolve with the light Spirit’s conjuring without losing your life. It is an incredibly rare gift, a perfect balance, but someelemental conjurors can channel enough to leave their bodies. To become the thing they command.”
Could I really do something like that? It sounded unreal, though the way Clause spoke with such conviction, I couldn’t help but wonder. “She sounds... remarkable,” I mumbled a response while my mind tried to make sense of everything.
“She is.” He turned to me, eyes softening. “She was.” There was pain there, loss.
“What happened to her?” I asked, not knowing if I should. Yet this was a rare opportunity to learn more of what made the Sidhe King into the being that sat beside me.
Clause took a deep breath and turned from me once more. “She challenged me, and I loved that about her. My father hated that she did that. Someone bold enough to challenge his heir must be bold enough to plot against the King.”
My stomach dropped, and I feared I knew where this story would go.
“One night, after finishing my day’s duties, I returned to our room. She laid on the bed, unmoving.” His eyes slid shut, but he continued talking. “The air was charged with darkness. It was so heavy. I knew, before even seeing her, that something was wrong.” His eyes opened yet continued looking forward, focused on nothing in particular. “I approached the bed, finding her throat slit, blood everywhere. The sheets drenched with it.”
My hand moved to my mouth, though I made not a single sound.
“I took her into my arms and her body was still so warm. Whoever had done it must have just been there. I ran out of the room, rushing to alert my father. When I entered his chambers, he was washing blood off his hands. He didn’t even try to hideit. Instead, he told me he took care of the threat. That I would be all the stronger for it.”
Clause released a strangled breath. “She was not the only death that night.” He paused for a single heartbeat. “I killed him. My blade cut through him so smoothly despite all the things inside of a body. I sliced into him over and over until his blood drenched the floors.”
He finally turned. Cold gray eyes settled on me. “So, I know what it is like to love.”
My mouth dried. “I am so sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.
His gaze softened, and he lifted his hand. The backs of his fingers brushed my hair back over my shoulder, pulling it away from my face. “You have nothing to apologize for. Eventually, you will understand that whoever this person is, who you think holds your heart, they are not strong enough to hold it.”
My ribs felt like a cage, keeping me from being able to breathe effectively. “And you think you are?” Was that really what he was insinuating?
“I know I am.” His voice was soft and certain. Not a threat, but a promise.
I shook my head before rising to my feet, putting distance between us. “And what if I refuse you?” How long would his patience last? Did he expect me to sell myself to him to ensure the protection of the Bavadrins and Lysians?
A brief look of disgust passed over his features. “I would never force a woman to be with me if she didn’t desire it. You are free to refuse for as long as you can bear it.”
As long as I can bear it?He was delusional. The certainty that he knew the outcome would be in his favor was preposterous.
My hands balled into fists at my side. “And if I never want you the way you wish for me to? Would you kill me?” If he sawme as possibly being able to grow into being his equal, then letting me live when I opposed him would be a threat.
His eyes narrowed. “I will never kill you.” Another promise spoken into existence. The finality of it felt in my bones. He meant those words. Or he was remarkably good at pretending.
My entire body tensed. “How can you say something like that?” How could a King who kept such a distance from all allow me to wander so close to his heart? And then promised protection when it came to my life.He knew almost nothing about me.
He got to his feet, rising to his full height. His face was unreadable, no trace of emotion in those cold eyes. “Someday, you will understand.”
