“It was my honor.” He dipped his head, cheeks bright red when he met my eyes. He then disappeared into the crowd. Leaving me to sift through it before ultimately being pulled towards the balcony again, in need of an escape.
I paused on the threshold to the terrace, for someone was already out there.
Clause stood with his back to me, viewing his capital and the mountains surrounding it. The stagnant feeling was still thankfully removed. A gentle breeze cozied up to him, running through his hair before disappearing, as if afraid that he would force a barrier once more if it lingered too long.
Without that suffocating pressure around him, he almost seemed normal.
But he was anything but normal. With one touch, he took Landin from me.
I hated him.
And yet, I needed to exist near him if I wanted to find the best way to destroy him.
“Do you wish to be alone?” I finally asked, breaking the silence. Was he out here the entire time since I last left him?
Clause turned, viewing me, a soft curve to his lips when he met my gaze. “Not at all.”
I approached the railing, stopping beside him. “I am surprised to find you out here and not enjoying the party.”
“I like the way the breeze feels,” he stated simply, looking back over his lands. And suddenly, a part of me felt sorry for him. He kept everything at arm’s length, even the air he breathed. Letting no one get close enough to know him, to even matter to him. He built a cold and lonely existence aroundhimself. It was a strange thing, to feel sorry for a man you wished to kill.
“Do you have any friends?” I asked.
He chortled, glancing at me. “How do you definefriend?”
The question baffled me, for how to define such a thing? “It’s a relationship between two people. Someone who gives you the freedom to be yourself and loves you all the more for it.”
He released an amused breath. “That is but a fantasy.”
It was impossible to argue with him because he honestly did not understand. How could he? It was something he clearly had never experienced. And without knowing how such a relationship affected someone, he couldn’t even understand what taking someone like that was like. He did not know the impact he had made when he so easily took Landin’s life.
Even so, I refused to back down. If he blinded himself, then I would help him see.“It is as real as you and I.”
“How many friends would you say you have?”
“I don’t know. Several great ones.”
He arched a silver brow. “Several. And you believe none of them prefers to change you. All of them simply give you the freedom to be whatever you wish, do whatever you please, and they love you all the more for it?”
I sighed. “It’s not that simple. I oversimplified the definition of the word. Of course, friendships have their struggles. But ultimately the trials strengthen the bond.”
“You do not know how dangerous it is to place such faith in so many people. Most in this world do things for their own self-serving reasons. You should not place your trust so easily in others.” He pressed his lips into a thin line, clearly displeased by my view of the matter.
I shook my head. “Maybe if you trusted more, then youwould understand that there are some out there worthy of that trust.”
He viewed me before glancing at the room where the party still raged. Gray eyes met mine once more, and he inclined his head towards the room. “Allow me the pleasure of a dance with you?” It was an obvious change of subject, one that also made me uncomfortable.
My stomach clenched when he offered me his hand. I was fairly certain I pissed off all of his right-hand men and so them seeing me dancing with their King would likely offer me some level of security. I doubted any of them would ever dream of doing anything that may upset their King, and so as long as I held his favor, that offered me protection. Would I still hold his favor if I embarrassed him by turning down the invitation for a dance?
It was clear Clause wanted me to understand him, to view the world as he did. For some reason, the King cared about my opinion of him. And that was something I could use.
“Under one condition,” I stated, and his hand fell to his side.
“What may that be?” Though his voice was soft, it sent a jolt down my spine. This game, whatever this was that we were playing, was dangerous. Even more so because I felt as though I did not know all the rules.
“Tell me the story of who hurt you.” I asked for something deeply personal. Something I doubted he felt comfortable sharing. Especially given his inclination to keep everyone at a distance.
“Who hurt me?” He framed it as a question.
