Erik looked at me with surprise, as if he did not know who this person was before him. He made no move to close the distance he placed between us. The cold of his absence crept up my arms.
“Do you not want this?” I asked, wondering if I had perhaps made an awful mistake. Was it possible I entirely misread him and his desires?
His jaw clenched. “I think the answer is obvious, but under the conditions we find ourselves, this would be born of desperation.”
Nothing was heard outside of his admission.
“Then we both want each other, right here, at this moment. We want the one we see before us. I do not know who I will become in the future. Whoever it is, you may not recognize her. May not want her.” My gaze dropped, and a shiver ran down my spine as I voiced a fear that clung to me. Laying it bare for him to see.
A dark blood lust was born in me the moment Landin’s body hit the dirt. I felt it alive in my soul as it slowly paced back and forth like a trapped animal. Its claws cut into my chest with every silent step, digging away at the person I had always been. Inside, I was a bloody mess. It chipped away at me, demanding retribution for the damage to my heart. The sensation was so incredibly dark, and I was confident that it would only grow as time passed. I could not contain it. In the end, I was going to destroy Clause, even if I had to destroy myself in the process.I felt that unbreakable thread of fate as it wove around me, tying me to the monster.
“I am afraid I may not recognize myself,” I murmured.
“I will always recognize you.” The determination in Erik’s voice was absolute.
My gaze lifted. “But will you want a monster? I am afraid I will need to become one to truly stand against the one I am about to face.” I let Erik see my fears. My head was always held up high as I pretended to walk the path before me void of hesitation, yet that was not the truth.
I was terrified.
Not of death, but of what I would become if I survived.
Erik held my gaze before finally breaking it. Pivoting, he moved to stand at the window. Resting his arm on the framework, he leaned his head on his forearm, peering out at the darkness beyond. “I do not believe you to be capable ofbecoming someone who no longer draws me in. Even if you spoke lies, cast webs of deceit, and had the blood of others pooling at your feet. I would still desire to be near you. Still want you.”
I observed him as he faced away from me. His powerful frame, propped up against the window, focused intently on something outside. Even with his attention elsewhere, I could feel him everywhere in the room, for his presence had such a heavy weight to it.
“How can you know that?” I asked, greedy to know what made him so confident in believing such things. To that point, he only ever knew me as a stubborn woman who cared for those around her. However, that was not all I would become. Clause was not the first to draw on feelings of vengeance from me.
My mother’s death had been painful, but I was still a child, and Edda had been there to guide me as I grew. She shielded me from the world the best she could, and she protected me from myself. Still, Fraser lit a slow-burning flame of revenge. The path of vengeance was already well-traveled for me, and once Landin was taken, that path was exceptionally easy to rush down and push beyond. Every ounce of pain fueled my hatred. No one could shield me any longer, not from the world or from myself.
Erik answered with his back still to me. “Because if you want me at all, then you already want the person you are afraid of becoming. Lies and deceit were used against you and your people when I came here to break the treaty. Taking someone’s life is not something that bothers me. Your father, I would have killed him myself if I was not concerned with how that may turn you against me, making you more difficult to control. And my hands, they are stained with so much blood. I no longerknow the number of lives I have taken, Lysian lives, belonging to those who rebelled so long ago.” He released a cruel laugh. “And you think I would desire you any less for doing what you can to protect those you care for?”
The mood in the room dimmed.
Finally, he leaned away from the window and turned to me. His jaw was tight as his eyes met mine and held. The deep blue of his irises was significantly chilled. “This is who I am, Ariana. I am not some gentle King. I am the predator your Bavadrin stories warned the Lysians to be.” He spoke as if he were admitting to something, as if unveiling a secret I would not have known otherwise.
Anger bubbled within me. He thought I was such a fool? I watched him fight and kill five Lysians before my eyes. It quickly became abundantly clear that those were not the first lives he took, and I was confident they would not be the last. I knew he attempted to use me for his own agenda when he hoped I would be easy to control so that he could direct the Bavadrins. Nothing that he said came as a surprise.
“You insult me, for I am neither dumb nor blind,” I stated flatly. “I already know all those things about you, and I also have seen that those are not the things that define who you are. There are other sides to you, Erik, for I would never have tried to save your life if that was all you were.” I stood from the bed. “I know what I want and what I don’t. I don’t want your pity or concern where there needn’t be any. I am not some sheltered girl for you to protect. I am the Leader Superior of the Bavadrin people. I’m completely capable of making decisions for myself.” Pivoting, I walked to the door, opening it.“Sleep well, Erik.” I turned to him, gaze colliding with his, waiting for him to leave. If he wished to only anger me, then I wanted him gone.
He looked from me to the hallway beyond and pacedtowards it. Each step was purposeful and precise, moving with silent grace. Approaching the exit, his hand reached out for the door, grabbing hold of it while I moved away, giving him room to leave. Sapphire eyes stared at a spot in the hall, and he stilled just shy of reaching the threshold.
I braced myself for whatever he thought of saying next. The way things were progressing, chances were he would bring up Clause, Landin, or insult my ability to understand the situations I found myself in. None of those were things I planned on discussing any further with him.
Erik went perfectly still for a heartbeat that felt like an eternity. He then gently shut the door, remaining inside with me.
My heart stammered, afraid to hope that perhaps he had given up all those things that held him back, at least for the night.
The air trapped within the room became electric.
When he turned to me, it was as if all that had been restraining him evaporated entirely. His gaze pinned me where I stood, and the intensity in those eyes were incredible. I couldn’t move a muscle even if I wanted to. The unyielding desire burning in him was evident and potent. He looked upon me as if I were entirely his for the taking.
A tremor skipped through me.
Confidence came off him in waves. Any trace of uncertainty drowned in it. Slowly and with intent, he moved, closing the space between us until he towered me.
Raising his hand to my face, his thumb brushed along my jaw and his fingers slid around the back of my neck, holding the base of my skull. My breath hitched. The overwhelming feeling of his complete attention caused my stomach to flutter. He looked at me as though he were a wolf and I his prey. The power coming off him was completely crushing. Yet, I did notshy away. Any fear of him I possibly clung to had been replaced with desire. His power was a safety net to catch me.
My breathing turned shallow.
