My eyes opened even though I thought they were already open.
The floor disappeared beneath me, replaced by a quickly moving ground that I wasn’t even standing on. Startled, I shifted to the side and found myself completely thrown off-balance. Before I knew it, I was falling face-first toward the ground at an incredible speed.
An arm gripped my hip and yanked me back, throwing me solidly into someone behind me so that my breath left me in a whoosh.
Suddenly, everything came together.
I was on a horse with Erik, and I had just woken from a very troubling dream. I couldn’t catch my breath, while behind me, I could feel the steady rise and fall of Erik’s chest. My face burned hot. I tried to lean forward, but his arm remained wrapped around me with a firm grip.
“Sorry, I’m fine.” My voice quivered. “I just need a second. Will you release me?”
Without a word, Erik removed his arm, freeing me to lean forward, putting some space between us. The adrenaline from nearly flying off the horse began to subside, leaving me with a shocking embarrassment for the dream I just had.
“What was your nightmare of?” he asked.
“Nightmare?” I parroted his words, unable to wrap my mind around why he thought it was a nightmare while being relieved that he believed it to have been that. Thankfully, Erik could not see my face and how incredibly red it must have been.
“Yes,” Erik replied, waiting for my elaboration.
I wished that we were not on horseback and that I could put some space between us. “What makes you think I had a nightmare?” I faced forward, unable to bring myself to turn and look at him.
“You stirred in your sleep uncomfortably, mumbled something incoherent, flinched, and then your heart rate spiked, and you tried to take a nosedive from the horse to get away, and now youseem to be unable to bear touching me in any way.” He laid out all the things he picked up on as proof that my dream was a nightmare and apparently may have had something to do with him. Still, I had no intention of explaining my dream and why it was not exactly the nightmare he expected.
“It’s fine, Erik. It was just a dream. I only need to collect my wits. Let it go.” I tried to sound calm, hoping there was no desperation in my voice. The last thing I needed was for him to feel like he caught the trail of something that he was determined to follow it to its end.
Though I did not see him, I very much felt his eyes on me.
Gripping the mane of the stallion, I gritted my teeth.
“Kole!” Erik called out.
Kole was on horseback beside us in an instant. His clear blue gaze fell on my face, and I did not know what he saw, but he looked at me confused.
“Take the others onward a few hundred yards and begin making camp. We will catch up soon,” Erik instructed before bringing his horse to a complete stop.
“Sure thing,” Kole replied, and just like that, the small Lysian party and Edda, who raised a single eyebrow as she passed Erik’s very stationary horse, went to make camp.
Spirit, help me. He will not let this go.I cursed myself for ever falling asleep in the first place. Wasn’t anything private? Wasn’t I allowed to have my own personal thoughts, hopes, and dreams? Sure, I was under their rule for now, but they wanted to work with the Bavadrins, and to do so, they needed to allow for some respectful privacy.
Once everyone left us, Erik dismounted, and I followed suit, having no idea if I should have remained on horseback or not.
Once we both stood with our feet solidly on the ground, his sapphire eyes observed me, probably taking in the embarrassing blush on my face. The weight of his gaze was substantial, and Ifeared he would somehow uncover my bizarre dream before I even made sense of it myself.
Erik took a single step towards me, and I mirrored his movement, taking a single step away. It felt as though if he got closer, he would better be able to see my thoughts, and so automatically, my body reacted, trying to keep the tiny bit of space between us from closing further.
“Do you fear me?” he asked, and the question instantly angered me.
What precisely was the correct answer in this case? Because to me, it felt as though the correct answer changed depending on the circumstance. Erik oscillated between wanting me to tremble in his presence and wanting me to trust him. But I was not some toy for him to play with for entertainment, just as my people were not simply tools for the Lysians to make use of however they saw fit.
“What exactly would the correct answer be?” I asked, eyes narrowing.
“The truth.”
I snorted. “You don’t want the truth. You only wish for the answer you want to hear.”
“That isn’t true.” His brows drew together as if he couldn’t comprehend my accusation.
“Isn’t it? Wouldn’t you have loved for the Bavadrins to have been working with the Sidhe so that you could have a simple path before you? But the truth is that we never have done anything like that. Half the time, you want me to be comfortable around you, and the other half, you want to have me fear you. So what mood are you in today? I am at your service and will respond however it may please you.” I was irritable, part of which could have been because of my growing hunger. I was never happy when hungry.
