He did not respond, and I filled the silent void myself. “She is either pushing me away or she is testing me in some way.” The worst part was how incredibly alone I felt at that moment. I was brought back to when I was a child who just lost her mother, learning how unsafe the cruel world could be. The loneliness reclaimed its place within me. My knuckles began turning white as I held on to the iron bar before me, squeezing it with everything I had in an attempt to crowd out those horrid feelings.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” Erik offered, his voice gentle.
“No, I wish to be alone right now,” I lied. That was so incredibly far from what I wanted, but he was a Lysian, and I was his prisoner. No matter how much kindness he tried to show, it would not make up for the fact that I was not free.
I refused to seek comfort from my imprisoner, no matter how tempting.
“Alright,” he finally answered and though his steps were silent, I felt it when he moved away from me. Did he have any idea how potent his presence was?
“Thank you for dinner. It was nice,” I said while looking out over the forest before me.
“I’m sorry, Ariana.” His voice was low but very much heard. I wondered what exactly he was sorry for.
With the soft click of his balcony door closing, my eyes filled with tears anew. I stood there as they rolled down my cheeks, falling to the floor. I was feeling sorry for myself and that only made things worse. How pathetic I had become.Poor little Ariana. Mother killed for her existence. Father an abusive and sick individual. The person closest to family turned their back on her. Her friends and her people living under the threat of the Lysians, and little Ariana stolen away from all of them.
Anger rose within me at how whiny my thoughts became. I grabbed on to that rage like a lifeline and the fire of it grew until it evaporated my tears.
No, I am not some sad, helpless girl.I said to myself.
I am a conjuror. I have strength.
I will return to my people and free myself of the invisible shackles placed on me. I will lead the Bavadrins to a life void of the fear and oppression they had long endured. Even if I lost Edda, I was not alone. The Spirit chose me as the next one to lead, and I would not fail. My mother’s death would not be in vain.
One way or another, I would change the path of the Bavadrins.
One way or another, I would change everything.
23
ARIANA
Clumsily, I made my way down the hall, carrying the large bowl filled with my favorite dish. Perhaps I overdid it a little and should have cooked a smaller amount in case the Lysians hated it. However, my certainty that they would like it won out, and I made a ridiculously sizable amount. My arms trembled from the weight of the bowl as I stopped before the door, waiting for Kole to open it.
Kole raised a single golden eyebrow.
“Open it, please.” The words huffed out of me in spurts of breath.
Instead, he folded his hands across his chest. “You know, this is an excellent exercise for you.”
“I am about to drop it, and if I do, you will be licking it off the floor,” I replied through clenched teeth.
His crystal eyes grew more prominent. “Ooh, I do not think you have the authority to make such demands, tiny Ariana.”
“Your King is expecting this,” I countered.
“Well, in that case . . .” He thenleanedagainst the wall, making a point that Erik may in fact appreciate my dropping it.
“If you do not open this door, I will ensure that Edda spends all her time with us from now on,” I threatened. Edda and I had not spoken since that day when she lashed out at me. I certainly was not planning to end the silence over a ruined dish, but Kole did not know that.
He winced at the threat, having developed a healthy dislike for Edda. Without another word, he reached over and opened the door.
“Thanks.” I shoved my way past him.
We were in the same room where I shared a meal with Erik a couple of days ago. However, this time there were three plates set out.
“Take a seat,” I instructed while placing the bowl on the table and shaking out my wobbly arms.
Kole frowned and remained standing. Looking as if even sitting next to the bowl was possibly going to make him ill.
