How could I respond when it was true. I wanted to be a Bavadrin prisoner.
But she did not desire to be mine. She wanted to go home.
“You must hate me.” My words came out so low, I wasn’t sure whether she could make them out.
She studied me a moment before answering. “I can understand the position you are in. Hate is not a word I would use to describe my feelings towards you. Perhaps frustrating would be a more appropriate term.”
I smiled, though it did not touch my eyes. “I have been called worse.”
She seemed to want to ask something else but bit her tongue.Instead, she settled on saying, “I hope you know that I do not wish your people any harm. If you believe nothing else, please believe this.” There was almost a desperation to her voice. “I do not want to hurt you or the Lysians.”
I nodded in acknowledgement but said nothing in return.
Ariana sat up looking at the dimming world around us. “I’m getting tired,” she stated, effectively ending the entire conversation.
I rose to my feet in a fluid motion and held out a hand to help. Her touch was warm as her fingers slid over my palm. Once standing her hand remained in mine for longer than necessary, and I held it. Searching her eyes for answers she could not provide me with. A sadness passed over her features before she tugged, and I released my hold.
I wanted to say something to comfort her, but nothing came to mind. So instead, I escorted her back to her beautiful prison.
37
ARIANA
It was my third trip home with the Lysians, but they would not make it past the city walls this time. My sweaty palms held the reins of my mount as my mind raced. Everything was coming together, a silent storm building. We all stood on the precipice, and I hoped we would all come out unscathed.
I rode Rain on my own again. She was a reliable horse with both spirit and endurance. However, by the way her tail periodically whipped and her large gray ears flickered, I wondered if she sensed the growing unease within me, making it her own.
Edda was also allowed to ride on her own, making things a lot easier, for she could separate herself from the party when the time came. And it had finally nearly come.
Shay greeted us near the city, running parallel as we approached. The wolf’s movements were soundless as she made her way across the grassland, keeping pace. Erik periodically turned his head and looked at her. Our escort. He did not know that her presence meant that Willis knew where we now were, tracking our movements. Willis and the other Bavadrins would have been preparing for what was to come next.
For the first time in decades, the Sparrows lined our walls, my friend Kiora standing with them. My heart both swelled and retracted. I thought a silent prayer to the Spirit that all would go well.
Edda rode up ahead, leading the way for our small group. The Lysians allowed for it because they had me amongst them, and they likely thought that the Bavadrins would never dream of attacking them when they could kill me in a matter of seconds. Unfortunately for them, I was not the utterly helpless girl they had come to know.
When the perimeter city wall came into view, my heart rattled against my ribs. If Erik could hear it over the horse’s hooves, he likely attributed the increased pulse to excitement of returning home.
“Agh!” Edda scowled from the front. “You are a Leader Superior! They know you are arriving today! What kind of welcome is this?” She made a show of pretending to be appalled that the dirt road was not lined with Bavadrins dancing with ribbons and playing their horns to celebrate my arrival.
“What, are you planning on running ahead and giving them an earful?” I commented. It was my allowing her to run, to leave me. She needed to separate herself.
“You can be sure that I am. This is completely unacceptable,” Edda snapped, voice filled with scorn, and with a sharp kick, her horse sprang forward, racing towards the wall. None of the Lysians reacted or thought it odd. They had grown accustomed to Edda’s strange behaviors. Then, again, they felt content having me amongst them.
I stole a quiet glance at Erik. He had a relaxed look to him, completely unaware of what was coming. Nervous energy vibrated through my being. I did not fear Erik finding me out. I feared his response.
Rain slowed her pace and so did the Lysians as they followedmy lead without realizing it. I led them near the single great wide tree in the field outside of the outer perimeter gates of the city. It was a deadly tree, for it marked a critical distance. It was within the area where the Sparrows’ arrows could easily find their targets; much further, and some may be challenging by accuracy. We entered the strike zone, where every archer was capable of perfection. The wall seemed so far from where we were, and I couldn’t help but be impressed by the Sparrow’s skills, though I hoped I would not need to see those talents this day.
Rain came to an abrupt halt, barely breaking away from the group before the Lysians all stopped, turning to face me. I gave the horse a gentle stroke along her mane before dismounting and scanning the perimeter. Edda had breached the entrance. Everyone would have been prepared now, waiting for my signal.
I felt oddly sick.
Erik’s brows were drawn, dark brown hair tussled by the wind as he approached me on horseback. “What’s wrong?” Concern flashed across his features. Undoubtedly, he noticed my racing pulse. It was bordering a panic.
Erik was my jailer, but he was also tormented by that fact. He didn’t want to be what he was to me. I was going to release him from that burden. I just hoped that taking my freedom wouldn’t be my undoing.Ourundoing.
Trust me. Please.
Drawing a deep breath, I willed my heart to slow.
