“I love you too,” I rasp, watching as the three of them pile into the vehicle. Raising my hand in one, last goodbye, I watch as they drive in the opposite direction to my house.
My heart pounds as I watch Trick brake and slowly turn left. A tear finally drops onto my cheek, where they’re met with more as I cry.
“I’ll be okay,” I tell myself, turning away and walking back the way I came.
Except, I’m not going back home. I dumped my backpack in the bushes on my way over and left my phone under my pillow. I’m bringing only what I can, and I have money that I’ve been hoarding since the guys told me that they’d been signed. I have six hundred dollars to my name.
I’m only bringing the bare necessities. I don’t want anyone to ask questions about why I’m walking around with a giant bag. As it is, it may get back to my parents that I’m out late alone, but by that point, I’ll be gone.
I also responded to a roommate ad in Minneapolis, which is also where I applied for a job. My new roommate told me that the alpha who runs a bar that recently opened needs another bartender. I’ve been making drinks for years, despite my age.
I have it all planned out. Pulling out a hoody that I stole from Noa, I pull it over my head and thread my arms through, beforeensuring that the hood is over my head. I almost forgot that I shoved it inside the bag. This will help give me a little anonymity at least. Slinging the strap of my backpack over my shoulder, I tell myself this is necessary.
I’m not strong enough to stay. I have to cut my ties completely.
This is what’s best. If I say it enough times, eventually I’ll believe it.
Chapter
One
Six years later
ORLA
Pullingmy dark hair out of its top knot, I blow out a breath as I glare at my reflection in the mirror. These long nights are killing me. I’m off the next few days by force, but they won’t be relaxing.
My blue eyes glitter back as if mocking me, and for all I know, my inner omega is doing exactly that. I track my heats like it’s my damn job. If I’m honest with myself, my crankiness is because my heat is due to show her ugly, horny face very soon.
Mickey moved out a year ago to live with his new pack, leaving me to find a new roommate. While Kailee is really sweet, she’s still grieving after her pack rejected her. It doesn’t matter that it happened almost three years ago, I can hear her crying when I get in late after my shift.
Sometimes, the pain sticks. I know mine does.
“Chickie, are you good?” Mickey asks, getting my attention as I pull on my coat. The weather is milder than it has been, but it’s still necessary to bundle up for the walk home at night.
He knows every terrible thing that I’ve ever done. When I moved in, he greeted me with a bottle of tequila, and we bonded over it. He knows all about my past with the rockstars ofFrozen Hearts.
“Yeah, I’m going to lock up and head out,” I say, forcing a smile as I turn to face him and fluff out my hair.
“Do you have a pack in place?” he asks.
To have something to do, I fix my purse so the strap is over my head. The last thing I need is to get mugged on my way home. This way, it’s secure across my body.
Mickey and I have been friends for too long to not know when we’re nearing a heat. He’s the one who pushed me to go clubbing with him so that I wouldn’t have to go through a heat alone. I lost my virginity that way, but the alphas were all in a rut my first time, so they didn’t notice. It was painful, messy, and I cried the entire time. The blood was hidden in my slick, and my sobbing was mistaken for being out of my mind with heat.
Nothing has been as bad as my first heat. It should have been incredible according to all the stories I’ve read online, but it’s just propaganda for omegas.
Sex has always been transactional in a way, no matter what pack I’m with. I had to figure out what I liked, and then find packs that could deliver on what I needed. It’s dirty, hot sex for three days, where they make sure I drink water and eat moderately. Sometimes, they ask to help me through my next heat if we vibe together, others they don’t.
I typically turn them down nicely. I’m here for a good time, but never a long one. Catching feelings sucks, and I won’t ever do that again.
“I do, as long as they don’t flake,” I sigh. “You know I’m on meds that make sure I only have heats quarterly, but even then, it’s getting harder to find alphas that are reliable.”
Mickey winces, because that’s how he felt too, just before he found his pack.
“You never give them a second chance,” he says, opening his arms to give me a hug. Knowing he’s not judging me for it, I walk into his arms, hugging him back.
Our boss has the night off since he knows I’ll be out the next few days. Over the past year, I’ve been taking on more responsibilities for him and I’m now his manager. Mickey has been here longer than I have, but he doesn’t like having to be here early and leave late, especially when he has a pack. The only thing keeping him here is the fact that he enjoys the work.
