“Maybe, maybe not. Indulge me,” he suggests. “Close your eyes and think about it.”
Sighing, I close them and look within. I can feel my vein protesting against the prick of the cannula, I’m sore from my protest against staying another second on this godforsaken earth, and there’s something else…
A pulse of worry flows through my mind that doesn’t belong to me, and my eyes slam open. I know that’s not mine. Years of feeling emotions that don’t belong to me have made me hypersensitive to anything that isn’t mine.
“What is that?!” I squeal. “How…”
Swallowing hard, Gareth acknowledges my words with a sigh. “I didn’t think anything would happen when I did it. I was mad and I wanted you to open your eyes so I could see how beautiful they are. It didn’t make any sense, but as I said, I wasn’t thinking.”
Lifting my hand closest to the edge of the bed, he shows me my thumb. There are still indentions from his teeth there, despite the time that must have lapsed.
“So I bit your thumb,” he says sheepishly. “The doctor said that the bond wouldn’t have snapped into place if you didn’t want me. I’m still really sorry that I bit you without permission. I desperately want you, but not without your consent.”
“I think my body consented for me,” I say softly.
The bond doesn’t feel wrong…
“So I guess this means that betas definitely can bond to omegas. Which, I knew by the way, because Cerenity is bonded to one,” I add.
“I don’t want to apologize for it, but I’ve been freaking out that you’d be really mad,” he says with a wince.
“I don’t think I’m mad?”
Gareth chuckles at the giant question mark at the end of my words, yet I don’t quite know how else to explain it. I can try though.
“Forced bonds feel like there are snakes in your mind,” I begin. “There’s a foreign, unwelcome person whispering to you, corrupting something that omegas are told is supposed to be a blessing and miracle. We want to feel loved, adored, and cared for. However, my abusers could send images of all the awful things they’d do to me when they found me. They didn’t know that Cerenity existed until very shortly before their deaths.”
“So what do I feel like?” he asks, moving closer until he’s once again caging my body with his.
Raising my free hand, I graze my fingers over the patchwork of ink and scars.
“Mine. I can tell what emotions aren’t mine, but this doesn’t feel malevolent,” I explain. “I also know myself well enough to know that I’m not upset about this. I could pretend if it’ll make you feel better…”
“Don’t be a brat, that’s my job,” Gareth grins, kissing me hard. “Please don’t leave me. I lost my mind when you collapsed when I found you. I ran down with you in my arms as if there was a banshee chasing me.”
“Who stitched me up?” I ask.
“Dr. Adrain Royal,” he replies.
“Oh fuck,” I gasp. “Ugh, why did it have to be him?”
“He seemed to have the same reaction when he saw you,” Gareth says, frowning. “Why?”
“He runs in certain circles of the Irish mafia. He does a lot of work for a charity in Minneapolis for omegas, and I’ve run into him occasionally. Dr. Royal is…nice,” I say.
“Nice? That’s like the kiss of death, isn’t it?” Gareth teases me.
“No, it’s just very obvious that his pack is looking to settle down with an omega. They’re ridiculously happy together, don’t get me wrong,” I say. “I don’t want you to get the impression that I was interested in any way. We kind of need a doctor on our side.”
“Are you saying that you’re worried I’ll kill him?” he asks, grinning widely. “Do I give you Tarzan vibes?”
“More like Michael Myers,” I giggle.
“Fair,” he says, kissing me again. “I like that you can appreciate my inner serial killer. On that note, my brothers and I have agreed to kill Dylan. Seeing you almost die did something to them. You’re in no way obligated to accept them again as your mates, okay?”
“Are you saying you don’t want to share?” I ask, feeling a bubble of excitement that definitely belongs to me.
“I don’t, not unless you were riding my cock while I bounced on Aled’s fat knot,” he says, playing into my hands. “Baby, we can play this all day long, but you’re in no shape to do anything about it.”
