Why does no one want me?
A tear slides down my cheek as I think about how I’m going to continue to be alpha and childless. I need to figure out how to be comfortable with that, because I don’t see it changing any time soon. As soon as I let Tommy back in, he’ll be his usual intimidating self and scare everyone away.
The only interaction with people that I really get is at work. Maybe I need a cat or something? Fuck, can I even be responsible for a living thing?
“Stop it, Marie,” I growl in annoyance with myself.
It won’t stop, and I find myself shivering and crying through a panic attack. I suppose, it’s to be expected for me to lose my shit. With everything that’s been happening, I’ve been forcing myself to bear it and continue moving. Losing my job, my apartment, moving, and being attacked by bikers has a way of fucking with a girl.
Gasping for air, my eyes feel puffy and hurt as the tears begin to dry up. Slower than it feels possible, my lungs begin to relax, allowing me to gulp in breaths. I’m going to need to raid the makeup cabinet, because I am going to need to handle the hollowness under my eyes.
Locking the door, I crawl to the bed and force myself onto it after moving the dress and shoes. I need a time out. Just a nap to allow myself to reset. Putting my phone on the nightstand, I turn out the twinkle lights I set up in here so I won’t have to use a real light and close my eyes.
I just need the world to stop hurting me, just for a little while.
Chapter
Five
STORM
It’s beentwo weeks since we pulled over the pretty little redhead, and she’s still living rent free in my head. So much so that I had someone check out the apartment on her license, only to find that the reason she had so much shit in her car is because she was moving.
Taking a long pull of my beer, I prop my legs up on the little metal table overlooking the pool of a small budget hotel we’re staying at tonight. We’re taking up ten of their twenty rooms, which means no one will say boo if we break the rules. Thankfully, there’s no kids staying here, or the parents are doing a really good job keeping them out of sight.
“What’s eating you?” Lore, my president and best friend asks, stretching out his legs.
“You know,” I grunt, taking another sip of my beer. “I thought forgetting her would be easier than this.”
I get a hard on now when I get zapped by the carpet or a metal handle. I’m definitely messed up over this girl. I want tofind her and ask her to electrocute me again. That’s romantic, right?
“She’s ours. It’s hard to forget that,” he sighs. At my glance, he makes a face. “It’s not like I could have thrown her over my lap and hogtied her to the bike, Storm.”
“I guess that you wouldn’t with the cops coming up to check on her,” I grumble. “Would you have if there hadn’t been any obstacles?”
“Maybe. With all the shit we do, I doubt my line would be drawn at kidnapping,” he admits. “Finding her will be a bitch.”
“Is no one going to admit that maybe she doesn’t want to see us?” Wilder asks, leaning forward to join the conversation. His own bottle of beer is dangling between his fingers as some of our brothers enjoy the pool.
It may be a little cool, but we’re going on another job tomorrow. We may as well enjoy our freedom until then.
“I don’t really care,” I say. “Was what we did kind of fucked up? Yes. However, we’ll get her to forgive us.”
“Bold words to say when we were seconds from gang banging her,” he mutters.
“I wasn’t going to let it go that far,” Prez says, his eyes closing. I know for a fact that he’s not sleeping, he’s trying to keep the heat off himself.
“I heard your bark,” Wilder says. “They would have covered her in their cum if you hadn’t said something. I half expected that you’d let it happen.”
“It would have been harder for Marie to pretend like nothing happened if there was evidence the police could see,” Prez says. “If she wasn’t ours, I might have even let it happen. Even if it took me longer than I’d like to admit for it to click that she’s ours, I’m too possessive to let someone come all over my girl. That is, outside of the three of us.”
“You’re such an asshole,” Wilder mutters under his breath. We can talk however we want in private, but it’s disrespectful around the others. “I can’t stop thinking about how hard she fought and how pretty her eyes were full of tears while she gagged on my cock. I want to find her.”
“For a do over?” I ask, downing the rest of my beer and tossing it in the trash.
“To talk to her before that happens,” he says. “Maybe without an audience this time.”
“Yeah, that’ll never happen again,” Lore grunts. “No one will ever see her naked again outside of us. I wouldn’t mind figuring out why she left Chicago in her shitty car with all her belongings in it.”
