We say our goodbyes, and I head down to catch a cab to the airport. It’s a quick ride, and in no time, I’m sitting at my gate waiting for boarding to start.
I take my phone out of my pocket and pull up Camille’s contact. I missed a couple calls from her before I left. She even texted me on Sunday asking to talk. But I’d left my phone in my truck on Sunday since I wouldn’t have service anyway. I didn’t check it until the next day. By then I was already in Chicago.
I wanted to call her as soon as I saw her name. I still do, but I don’t know what to say at this point. And I'm terrified she’s going to end this. Tomorrow will be a week since I left her crying alone in her bed. I’ve struggled with that decision from the moment I made it. I was only trying to do what was best for her. For all I know, I made matters worse.
As soon as I darken my screen, my phone vibrates. Lizzy’s name pops up. Confusion is the first emotion to wash over me, but that quickly turns to panic. I can’t imagine why Lizzy would call me unless something is wrong.
“Hello,” I say a little too quickly.
“Adam, it’s Lizzy.”
“Hey, Lizzy.” She sounds nervous but not upset. I hope that means everything is fine. “You doing, okay?”
“Yeah, well …” She lets out an exaggerated sigh. “Has everything been okay with Mom? You know, between you two?”
Now it was my turn to sigh. “Honestly, no. I haven’t spoken to her since Friday morning. She was pretty upset about something and wouldn’t talk to me.”
She’s silent for a few beats too long. I can hear her breathing so I know she’s still there, but she must be processing, and I don’t know what to say. Eventually, she says, “I’m afraid that’s my fault.”
“Why is it your fault?”
“Mom … didn’t tell you?” The hesitation in her voice worries me.
“Is everything okay, Lizzy?”
“No,” she whispers.
She’s silent again and it's causing my mind to wander down too many wrong paths. I sense she’s nervous, but I need her to tell me what’s wrong. “Lizzy, please. Just tell me.”
She sniffs, causing my shoulders to sag.Is she crying?“Before I tell you what happened, I need you to understand my state of mind this past week.” She pauses and the way her voice cracks confirms her tears. I hate it. “Friday was Daddy’s birthday. It hit me hard, and I called Mom upset. When she said you were there, I freaked out on her. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I think you’re great, and I know Mom does, too. It’s just, well. I still struggle with losing Daddy and—”
“Lizzy.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “You don’t have to explain.”
“But I do. Please, let me finish.”
I lean back and drop my head on the back of the chair. “All right, go ahead.”
She lets out a long breath and clears her throat. “I was in a bad state when I called. I didn’t sleep well the night before. When I woke up, all I wanted was Mom. But she’s not here anymore. All I could do was call her. When she told me you spent the night, I lost it. I started saying stupid things about how she’d already forgotten about Daddy and how hurtful that was. I told her I didn’t want her seeing you because I wasn’t ready. That’s why she was upset. She ended the call with me, and I haven’ttalked to her since. She’s called me a few times, but I haven’t answered.”
I think I stop breathing. I know my heart skipped a beat or two with that admission, but my lungs stopped taking in air. I stare at the ceiling, completely clueless on how to respond to that. Those are all perfectly valid feelings, even if they do hurt a little bit. Or a lot.
“Adam? Are you there?”
“Yeah.” I rub my eyes and pull myself together. “I’m here. Listen, it’s understandable that you’d feel this way. I hope you know I’m not trying to replace your dad.”
“I know. It had nothing to do with you. I hope you can forgive me. I really am sorry.”
The sincerity in her voice breaks my heart. “There’s nothing to apologize for. Loss like you’ve experienced is hard. I think you’re a great kid, and I hope to see more of you in the future.”
“Really?” Her tone perks up for the first time since she called. “You’re not mad I messed things up with my mom?”
“Don’t worry about that. Your mom and I will figure this out.”
“I hope so. I like seeing Mom happy. And you definitely make her happy.” Her voice is laced with relief, and it makes me smile.
“Thanks. If you’re right about that, then everything will be fine.”
“I am. Well, I should let you go. I just needed to clear the air between us.”
