I open the door, and she immediately pulls me into a hug. “How you doing, honey?”
Her hug surprises me, and I’m stiff under her embrace. I should be used to it by now since everyone in Watercress Falls hugs. I’ve been given more hugs in the past few months than I think I’ve received in my entire life. While still surprised by the hugs, I’m grateful for them. I relax and welcome Rachel’s hug like a long-lost friend that I’m very glad to see.
“I honestly don’t know.” I finally answer her.
She releases me and sighs before she speaks. “Well, let’s eat, drink, and talk. Whatever it is, I know we can fix it.”
“I hope you’re right. I feel like such a fool, and I don’t want to make matters worse. I could really use some advice,” I say as I lead the way to the kitchen. I prepared the small eat-in table in the kitchen since it’s just the two of us rather than the large dining room table. This seems more personal.
“Oh, dear Jesus. This smells wonderful.” Rachel’s jaw drops when we turn the corner. “And this kitchen is to die for. Adam really out did himself.”
“He certainly did.” I force a smile at the mention of his name. I don’t know how much she knows, and I want to make sure whatever I say doesn’t come out the wrong way.
“You have got to give me a tour after we eat.” She heads for the French door refrigerator, and I smile as she makes herself at home. I may be from the south, but I never was one for formalities. “I hope you like flan.”
“I love it.” I smile as she finds a spot in the refrigerator for her dessert.
She turns to me with her hands on her hips and wiggles her brows. “Well, let’s pour some wine, plate up this food, and figure out how to fix whatever it is that’s got you and Adam so upset.”
Once we sit down and I start explaining to Rachel what happened, my nerves calm. I tell her everything. How he told me he loved me and how I said nothing. I told her about the call with Lizzy and then how I clammed up afterward. I even told her about Mark and Alex. I had to if I wanted her to understand my state of mind.
It always amazes me how much better I feel about bad situations when I talk about them. The hardest part of this conversation wasn’t telling her about Adam, but telling her about Mark and Alex. She listens quietly, only occasionally asking me questions, letting me get it all out while we eat.
When I finish, she leans back in her chair and stares at me. I can’t tell what the look means. It’s a cross between amazement and sadness.
But at least it isn’t pity.
She reaches for my hand and squeezes it. “Cami, you have got to be one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”
I snort. “Hardly. Lord knows, I don’t feel strong. I’m a mess.”
Her smile grows. “You may be a mess, but you're a strong mess. I mean, how many people would pick up and move across the country to start a new life? Not many. Don’t sell yourself short, honey.”
“Thank you for saying that.” I pick up my wine glass and take a sip. Mostly to cover my face. While I appreciate her words, they still make me uncomfortable. I’ve never felt strong. “It’s encouraging and leads me to believe there’s still hope for me.”
She squeezes my hand again before she stands. “There’s always hope.” She opens the refrigerator and takes out the flan while I get us a couple of plates and something to cut it with. Rachel gets to work serving it up, and I sit back down. She eyesme before she speaks again. “Have you called Adam since he left?”
I nod. “A couple times, yes. He didn’t answer, and I didn’t leave a message. His silence scares me.”
“He’s processing, but you need to try again.” She takes a bite of her flan and moans. “I know I shouldn’t brag, but this is so good.”
I chuckle as I’m savoring my own bite. “Brag away. You’ve earned that right.”
We sit in silence, eating our dessert. I ponder what she said. I know she’s right. I’m the one in the wrong, and therefore, I need to make the effort. As much as I want him to take the pressure off me by calling, he won’t. He said he’d give me time, and until I tell him I’m ready, he won’t reach out. This one is all on me.
I let out a long breath. “What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?”
“If he told you he loves you, then not a chance.” Rachel gives me a knowing smile that calms my nerves a bit. “That man doesn’t love easily. But he loves hard. When he gives his heart, it’s forever.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and stare at the now empty plate in front of me. If I look up at Rachel, I’ll cry. And I did enough crying since yesterday to last me the rest of my life. “I hope you’re right. It’s only been a day, and I miss him.”
“Hey, look at me.” Rachel leans forward and takes my hand. The second my eyes meet hers; my tears break free. There’s so much concern and compassion in her eyes, I can’t stop my tears from falling. I’m not used to having people in my life who simply care without telling me how I’m processing my emotions is wrong. “You need to understand something about Adam. When that man feels, he feels with every ounce of his being. There’s no such thing as part way with him. When he loves, it’s witheverything he’s got. That also means when he’s hurting, it's all consuming.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“I’m just offering some insight into how he feels. If you love him, and I’m assuming you do, then you need to tell him. He needs to hear it.”
I nod and pick up my wine glass for strength. I take a large gulp, and the bitterness of the tannins coat my tongue. It burns a little, but it's the jolt I need to push me to take action. Tomorrow, I’ll try to reach out to Adam again and fix this misunderstanding between us.
