I take a deep breath and meet her stare. “I assure you, hurting Adam is the last thing I want to do.”
“I believe you.” She pauses like she’s taking her time to choose her next words. “You have your own pain. And it's still fresh in your eyes. While you may not want to hurt Adam, that pain of yours—the pain you refuse to let go—will, unless you let your heart heal, too.”
“You don’t know anything about me.” I struggle to hold back my anger and my tears. I can’t let myself lose my cool in front of this woman.
I’m not ready for anyone else to know about my loss. It’s still too raw, too painful. She’s right that my pain still has a strong grip on my heart. But I’ve been honest with Adam about that. And he’s honest with me about his pain.
Our eyes are wide open. Why can’t they trust in that?
“Oh, dear.” Rosie reaches over and squeezes my hand. I want to jerk away, but I resist. “This isn’t coming out right. I don’t want to upset you.”
“Then what are you trying to do?” I bark back, harsher than I intend.
“I … I just … Well, Adam doesn’t talk about his past. I know you have one, too. I just want to know that you two are careful with each other. No one needs more pain. Not him. And I imagine not you, either.”
I take a deep breath and rub my temples. Maybe Rosie doesn’t mean anything bad by this conversation, but it still makes me uncomfortable. “Listen, all I can tell you is Adam and I have been open with each other. I know about his past, and he knows about mine. We’ve been very honest with each other. I like him. A lot. But I can’t promise this will work out. And neither can he. But we’re trying.”
“Okay.” She pats my hand with a faint smile. “That’s all I can ask of you both.” She pushes back from the table to stand but pauses midway. “I like you very much, Camille. I don’t want to see you hurt, either.”
I nod. Her words cause a tear to escape my control. I quickly brush it away and fight back the others.
After she leaves, I grab my things and rush to my car. As soon as I sit behind the driver seat and shut the door, the dam bursts,and tears rush down my face. I cry and I cry and I cry. It’s the most I’ve cried in months.
When my tears stop, and I dry my face, I feel better. Everything will be fine. Rosie may be concerned, but she doesn’t need to be. At least, not about me. I’ve found a new start to my life, and for the first time in two years, I feel my heart healing. And I have Adam to thank for that.
The restof the day goes by too fast.
Before I know it, we’re piled into Adams' truck and heading to the airport. Even the ride to the airport is too fast. With each passing mile, Lizzy is closer to leaving me. My anxiety is high and my heart is starting to ache.
“Mom.” Lizzy’s soft voice whispers in my ear. Her hand is on my arm, and she rests her chin on my shoulder. “We’re here.”
I nod and look out the window. If I look at her, I’ll cry.
“You okay?” she asks.
I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut.I will not cry, not yet.I steel my emotions and take a deep breath. “I’m gonna miss you, sweetheart. I hate watching you leave.”
“I’m gonna miss you, too.” She pushes up over the seat and kisses my cheek, her own tears streaming down her face. “I’ll be back soon. Thanksgiving will be here before you know it.”
I pat her cheek and wipe her tears. “Come on. Let’s go get you checked in.”
Adam carries her bags while we walk arm in arm into the airport. Letting go of Lizzy long enough so she can get her boarding pass is hard. But I manage. Thankfully, I have Adam’s arms to replace hers. It isn’t the same, but it helps being held by someone right now. And I likethissomeone very much.
Her bags are checked, and she has her boarding pass in hand. Standing outside the security check, I pull her in for another hug. I have to take what I can get now.
“Do you have all your snacks?” I ask.
“Yep.” She points toward her backpack that’s slung over her shoulder. “I have extra donuts and those little cookies you made yesterday. I should be more than fine.”
“Well, all right then.” My voice cracks. Lizzy gives me an understanding smile, and I feel Adam’s hand on the small of my back. I love how they’re both trying to help me through this goodbye.
I hold her at arm's length and struggle to fight back my tears. “Call me when you make it home. I don’t care what time it is.”
“I will.” This time she pulls me in for a hug before her tears spill down her cheeks. “I better head through. I want to have enough time to grab something to drink before boarding starts.”
She looks to Adam and opens her arms for a hug. He wraps his arms around her without hesitation. Seeing them hug is the final straw. I can no longer hold back my tears. It’s a slow drip, but it's enough to get the front of my blouse wet.
Watching Adam hug my daughter like she’s his own is my breaking point. I more than like him. I’m not sure how deep my feelings for him run, but it’s definitely more than I’ve been willing to admit to myself.
