My entire body shakes, and my tears start to escape. I’m quickly losing control, and all the walls and borders I’veconstructed around my pain crumbles. I’ve worked hard to keep thoughts of Alex buried, especially when others were around. The last thing I need is another town of people feeling sorry for me.
I feel myself falling forward, but Adam’s arms snake around my waist, and he pulls my back flush against his chest. I struggle against his hold, but he nuzzles his face next to my ear and whispers, “It’s okay to fall apart, and it’s okay to be strong. I’m here for whatever you need.”
He breathes in deep, and my body follows suit. With every inhale and exhale, he regulates my breathing. My mind calms, and my body stops shaking.
He presses his lips against my neck. The rough hairs from his beard tickles my tender skin. He speaks so softly to me; I’m not sure Lizzy can hear his words. “I’m gonna confirm the time we can expect the countertops to arrive. I’m one step closer to getting you into your kitchen. Enjoy your breakfast with Lizzy. Just say the word, and I’m here for you. Whenever you’re ready.”
I take in one last deep breath before nodding. Adam lets me go and disappears into the kitchen, leaving me alone with Lizzy.
“Mom, I’m sorry.” Her own tears stream down her cheeks.
I reach for her and pull her in for a tight hug. “None of that. I’ll be fine. Just let me hug you.”
I hold her close and enjoy the feel of my daughter in my arms. I’m not happy she told Adam about Alex, but at the same time, she saved me from a really hard conversation I’ve been avoiding. I had to tell him at some point. I just didn’t know how.
There’s still more to say, but that’s a conversation that can wait until another day.
HavingLizzy here makes it so much easier to forgive her for telling Adam about Alex. I can’t ignore her betrayal with distance. I’m forced to face it head on. It’s not easy to get over the fact that she told him my deepest secret—the one thing I don’t want everyone in this small town to know. Secrets have a way of spreading like wildfire. If Watercress Falls is anything like other small towns, if the wrong person finds out, the entire town will know in a matter of days.
I won’t survive more looks of pity or pain. I think that’s what always hurts the most—seeing my pain reflected in the eyes of others. It’s a constant reminder that I lost something irreplaceable.
But I trust Adam, and this is a secret I know he’ll keep. Which is why I should have told him. Adam hasn’t brought it up again, but I know we need to talk about it. There’s a hesitation in him now that I didn’t sense before. But at least I don’t see pity in his eyes.
Adam and I haven’t had any time alone since Lizzy arrived, and I miss all his small gestures. He still arrives early with breakfast, but Lizzy joins us now. Otherwise, he’s been giving me time alone with Lizzy. I appreciate it, but I miss his touch and his light kisses. I’ve become more attached to him than I realized.
He’s been busy these past few days with finishing up my kitchen. Yesterday, he added finishing touches and cleared out the makeshift kitchen in the dining room. Today, it's ready for me.
It’s everything I hoped it’d be, and I can’t wait to cook my first meal in my new space.
The entire crew is getting a treat today. I ran out after breakfast and bought everything I need to make enough French toast with strawberries for everyone. It’s one of those meals that everyone raves about when I make it. It’s a simple dish, but people always act like it’s some specialty gourmet meal. Regardless, it pleases me to make others so happy with food, even if the compliments seem over the top to me.
I stand in the middle of my new kitchen and smile. It really is everything I dreamed it could be. Without the wall separating the kitchen from the dining room, it’s perfect. Large, open concept with an island as a divider instead of a wall. The cabinets are a dark cherry wood that complement the dark slate countertops nicely, and the custom slate farmhouse style sink Adam had made for me is my favorite feature.
The light stone backsplash and pale-yellow paint on the walls is a perfect contrast to the dark wood and countertops. He even managed to match the new hardwood flooring to the original floors throughout the house. I picked out tile for the room because I didn’t think this was possible. He was happy to prove me wrong. It’s seamless.
Finding Adam has proven to be perfect in more ways than one. He’s making my life better, and I enjoy having him around. As long as I don’t screw it up, maybe I’ll get to keep him when this project is complete.
Laughter seeps into the kitchen, and I can’t help but smile. Lizzy has taken to Adam, and it pleases me immensely how well they get along. The past three days, she’s followed him around, telling him stories from her childhood. Lizzy was somewhat of a wild child and rule breaker. She still is to a degree. There was a time when I worried she wouldn’t make it to adulthood. Either Mark and I were going to kill her, or she was going to do something so stupid she didn’t survive.
Like the time she got so mad at her boyfriend for cheating on her that she locked him and the entire football team in their locker room on game night. She busted the lock, and no one could get it opened. They had to forfeit the game. Then there was the time she stole the neighbor’s car after we said she couldn’t take ours to go to a party. Thankfully, Mrs. Smith was a sweet old lady who thought Lizzy could do no wrong, and she didn’t mind. But the worst was the time she stole a bottle of alcohol and spiked the lemonade dispenser in the school cafeteria when she was a sophomore in high school. At least fifty kids had been served the lemonade before someone discovered it. We spent weeks begging parents not to press charges.
My Lizzy, the wild one. Thankfully, she’s settled down. College did her good. She’s an amazing artist and studied fine arts and graphic design. Finding her own purpose in life gave her direction and distracted her from trouble. I guess I should count my blessings that she got her wild streak out of her while she still lived under my roof. If she had done even half those things in college, we may not have been able to help her work through it.
Lizzy sneaks up behind me and wraps me in a hug. “Hey, Mom.”
I squeeze her hands that she locked around me. “Hi, sweetie.”
She gasps. “Are you making French toast for lunch?”
“I am.” My smile grows. I look over my shoulder to find Adam leaning against the wall watching us. “Now that my kitchen is done, I want to cook all your favorites.”
“Looks like I came for a visit at the right time.” Lizzy rubs her hands together like she’s preparing for something truly amazing. She turns to Adam and says, “You’re in for a treat. Mom makes the world's best French toast.”
“I can’t wait.” Our eyes meet and my belly does a flip from the intensity of his gaze. There’s so much promise and hiddenmeaning in the way his green eyes light up when he looks at me. One day, soon, I’m going to let him show me exactly what those looks mean.
But first, I need to cook.
“Now go, both of you.” I shoo them out of the kitchen. “I need to make enough French toast for the entire crew and I’m behind. It’s almost lunch time.”
