“I don’t see you as a possession.”
“Then stop acting like I’m one.” I turn to face him fully. “I need a partner, Alex. Not a protector. Not a handler.”
He exhales hard. “You have no idea how many threats there are. I can’t just?—”
“Love me or own me. You can’t do both.”
The wordlovehits him like a hit to the gut. He flinches, the mask slipping.
“Everything I’ve done was to keep you safe,” he mutters.
“Then letmedecide what safe looks like.” I take his hand, squeezing. “I know you think you’re helping, but when you make every choice for me, you take my freedom with it.”
He looks down at our joined hands. “I don’t know how to do this any other way.”
“Then learn,” I whisper. “Because this—what we have—it’s not a business deal. It’s supposed to be love.”
He swallows, hard. “I’m trying, Clara.”
“I know. But trying’s not enough if you won’t change.” I steady my voice. “I love you, Alex. But I won’t let you manage me. I need space. I need to make my own mistakes.”
He’s silent, eyes searching mine. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying if you can’t love me without controlling me, we’re done.”
The words hang there like smoke.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“Then don’t make me choose between my independence and your love,” I say softly.
He spears his fingers into his hair and curses, “Damn it, Clara, I will not risk your safety!”
Tears blur my vision as I turn and walk away from him.
I don’t make it five feet before he’s on me.He grabs my arm, spins me around. The world tilts, and before I can gasp or curse or run, his hands are in my hair and his mouth is on mine. The first kiss is unhinged, teeth and heat and the taste of desperation. I’m fighting it—god, I am—but he’s stronger, and my body’s not even pretending to resist. His hands are everywhere, greedy and rough, pulling me to him so hard my feet leave the ground for a second. I hear myself make a sound—half sob, half moan—and that’s all the permission he needs.
He crushes me to the nearest tree, hips pinning me in place, and I feel him, hard and urgent, pressed against my stomach through two layers of winter clothes. My heart is pounding so loud I can barely hear his voice, but he’s talking, words a low growl at my ear.
“Stop fighting us,” he says, voice breaking on the last word. “You think I want to control you? I’m trying to keep you, Clara. I can’t—I won’t—lose you.”
He’s trembling, and I realize I am too. My hands fist in his coat, pulling him closer when I should be pushing him away. He kisses me again, savage and hungry, tongue parting my lips, and I let him. I want to. I want this more than I want to breathe.
He pulls back, just enough to look me in the eyes. He’s wild, unguarded. “I love you,” he says, the words so raw they’re barely sound. “I love you and it’s fucking killing me. I want to take care of you. Just le me take care of you for once.”
My mouth is dry. I can’t speak, so I just nod, and that’s all it takes. He lifts me, one motion, thighs around his waist, and slams me back into the tree. His hand finds my jaw, tilts myhead, and he kisses me like it’s the last time, like he’s drowning and I’m the only air left in the world.
I kiss him back. I kiss him with every ounce of anger and fear and hope I have. I taste salt and realize I’m crying, but I don’t let go. He devours me, bites at my lower lip, and then his hand is under my coat, under my sweater, palm hot against my chilled skin.
He breaks the kiss just long enough to say, “You are not leaving me. Not tonight. Not ever.”
I want to argue, to say it’s more complicated than that, but his thumb circles my nipple and all I can do is gasp. He grins, feral, and does it again. I’m melting, knees gone, soaking wet and shivering with need. If anyone walks by, we’ll be in jail, but I don’t care. All I want is him, right now, right here, consequences be damned.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he rasps at my ear. “Do you even fucking know?”
I shake my head, biting his shoulder to keep from screaming.
He laughs, a sound half-mad and full of wonder. “You’re going to ruin me, Clara. You already have.” His mouth is on mine again, gentler this time, but no less possessive. He kisses away the tears, the fear, all the words I can’t say. My breath fogs between us, mixing with his, and when he finally sets me down, I’m not sure I can stand without him holding me up.
