“I don’t deserve that.”
He shook his head, tsking.
“I wish you would stop saying that. Why does your goddess want you to suffer? And besides, I thought humans enjoyed receiving gifts? He’s not often that nice to our guests.”
Rul leaned in for a kiss, his tongues flicking across her lips and her body reacting on instinct, arching into his. His tail whipped around, circling her wrists so he could free his hands to roam over her body, though she was still clothed in her dress from last night.
She gasped in a breath when he finally pulled away, overwhelmed by the erotic kiss and the emotion clenching her chest.
“I killed my mother,” she breathed, regretting the words as soon as they left her mouth.
Rul stopped his caresses, sitting back on his knees and staring at her like she’d sprouted a second head.
“Youwhat?”
“I killed my mother,” she said again, tears spilling as he unwrapped his tail from her wrists. “When I was born. She lost too much blood… it was all my fault. I deserve to suffer.”
A deep sigh relaxed his shoulders, and he crawled next to her, pulling her into his arms.
“You can’t really believe that,” he cooed, her tears staining his white shirt.
“It is. I’ve been cursed since birth, cursed with wayward lust, with wicked thoughts. If the moon mother allows me into the Sanctum, it will be because of her bountiful mercy, not because of anything I’ve done.”
“Guilt may be a natural response, but I want you to really think about what you’re saying. A baby has no power over the circumstances of their birth. There is nothing you could have done to change the outcome, as devastating as it was. It is okay to feel flawed, but you deserve good things, just like everyone else. If your moon mother was a benevolent goddess, she would forgive you.”
Isabelle sniffled, her heart warming even as remorse knotted her throat. She remembered the way the people of town had whispered about her when she was a little girl, the way Henri and Pierre completely ignored the loss of her father when she sought comfort in the sins of the flesh.
No one had so much as said ‘I’m sorry’, and here this demon was, saying she deserved goodness, that she wasn’t at fault. Even her father had never explicitly told her that, had always looked at her with regret in his eyes.
Rul kissed the top of her head, giving her another squeeze.
“We will give you every good thing that you desire, that you deserve.”
“It doesn’t seem like Bellinor feels that way,” she said, again wishing she was better at biting her tongue.
He sighed heavily, taking a moment to answer.
“He survived out there, all alone, for many many years. Le Voile changed him, is a part of him. He is one with the void.”
“He must have done something awful to be banished here.”
Rul furrowed his brows, petting a hand along her cheek.
“You really think that? What could a human have done to deserve a place like this?”
Isabelle opened her mouth to speak, but closed it when she couldn’t find an answer. She recalled the overwhelming despair that had overcome her just from looking at le Voile, the entity seeking her destruction from a mere glance. She couldn’t imagine actually being out there, feeling the call of the void as it tore her apart, consuming her bit by bit.
“Why don’t you tell me what he did?” she finally answered.
“You know I can’t do that.”
“And why not?”
He propped himself up, his eyes downcast.
“I’ve told you already. That’s his story to share.”
So secretive, as always.
