There was no need to lock the door behind him since he had a key. Instead of worrying about his punk ass, I turned my attention back to Cyrus.
“Thank you for standing up for me,” I told him.
He chuckled. “It’s nothing. You know that guy wanna be so tough when it comes to a female but never have shit to say when a man is involved.”
“I noticed that.”
“Anyway, let me get in here and see how I feel with the lyrics. I’m about to show you what I was saying about the hook.”
“OK, let me start the track.”
While Cyrus messed with the soundboard, I let myself in the booth. It always felt good to get in the studio, even when I was stressed out and uncomfortable about being alone with Cyrus. Something told me to text my bodyguard and let him know to come back to the studio. Since the doors were coded, I usually didn’t have to bring him inside. Like I said, I liked privacy while I was working.
It didn’t matter anyway since the label hired those guys. They were really just protecting Ceasar’s investment. They weren’t worried about protecting me from him. It was different traveling because I hired extra help and had my own personal people outside of the guys the label hired to protect me.
Thankfully, due to living in a small town, I didn’t have to worry about any crazed fans running up on me. No one in my area knew who I was. I wasn’t looking forward to the day my luck ran out. I wanted my own security permanently.
I had been thinking about it for a while and actually had someone from Kannon’s company on call. Now that we weren’tspeaking, I didn’t want to risk the on call person being him. It had been two months, and I still wasn’t ready to face him.
I had so many complex thoughts and emotions when it came to Kannon. He probably hated me for leaving the way I did, and I couldn’t blame him. As bad as I missed him, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to reach out. I didn’t need him trying to save me. I didn’t want him getting hurt because of my shit.
Ceasar ran his business like the mob. I heard there was an actual gang financing some of his business moves. There was no telling what he was capable of. At the end of the day, I couldn’t let Kannon risk his life trying to save me from these monsters. I made the bed I was lying in. Kannon didn’t deserve to have to figure out how to get me out of it. I needed to do this for myself.
I stepped into the booth and slipped the headphones over my ears. Usually, as soon as the beat dropped, I was in my element. This time, something felt off. My body felt heavy as hell, and my head was swimming.
Was this a symptom of pregnancy?
I put my hand on my forehead as I tried to steady my thoughts. I felt so drowsy, I thought I would faint. Before I knew it, Cyrus’s hands were on me. He practically had to hold me up as he ushered me out of the booth.
“You good, Carteay?” he asked.
“No, I feel dizzy.”
“Come out here and sit down.”
“No.” I pulled away from him.
I had no idea what he was up to, but I wasn’t going anywhere with Cyrus. I knew better than to trust him. I snatched away from him, stumbling and falling as I moved toward the door.
“Come on. I think we need to call somebody,” Cyrus suggested as he helped me to my feet.
“Bathroom.”
That was all I could muster as I felt myself getting drowsier. I pushed past Cyrus and staggered into the open door of the bathroom. He tried to follow me in, but I pushed the door closed and collapsed against it. Something was off. Even though I was out of it, I knew I couldn’t trust him. There was a knock on the door, causing me to jump.
“Carteay, open the door. B is going to be here soon. You’re going to be all right. You just need to sleep it off.”
“Sleep what off?”
“Just open the door!”
Something wasn’t right. I ignored him as I pulled my phone from my back pocket. I pulled up the message thread between Kannon and I and typed a text. Cy continued to bang on the door as I fumbled with my phone. The phone dropped out of my hand, and I picked it up, hoping that I could hold it together long enough to send out an SOS.
Music blasted from the speakers in my living room, only partially drowning out my racing thoughts. Two months had done nothing to delete Carteay from my mind. Me and the young lady who I’d planned on having suck my dick had drunk about half a gallon of tequila, and I still didn’t have the nerve to touch her.
No matter how appealing she was to my eyes, or how good her tongue felt on my neck, my heart wouldn’t let me want her. She wasn’t right. She wasn’t her. I couldn’t stand her right now. Even when I couldn’t have her, Carteay still had a toehold on me. Shaking my head, I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back.
For the past few years, I’d run an elite security company and secured some of the most prestigious members of mycommunity and the ones surrounding it. I’d stood guard for celebrities, athletes, and even politicians near and far. As a natural born protector, I was good at what I did. The one thing I could never protect was my heart.
