Yes.I messaged back.
Wow. I bet that was weird.
I toyed with telling Molly about what had happened between Phoenix and me in his room, but decided against it over a text message. What if my phone got into the wrong hands?
Taking a deep breath at that memory of how Nix had touched me, I re-read her next message.So, is Micah enjoying New York?
I think so. He didn’t say much. They mainly spoke about the game at dinner.
Are we still going together?Molly messaged with a crossed-finger emoji.
Of course,I wouldn’t miss it.I responded.
After a bit of back and forth about the clash between Nix and Cash at Storm’s house, the subject came to a natural end. Molly then changed the discussion to clothes and asked what I was wearing to the game.
I threw my phone on my bed before going to check my closet. I needed to make sure I looked hot on Saturday. My hands skimmed over one of Nix’s old football jerseys. It was the one he’d worn at Harbor Heights when he played in high schoolfor the Hawks. He wore the same number now, but this time, he played for the Epic Eagles, and the uniform was white and red instead of gray and white. My fingers traced his number, forty-seven. As I pulled it off the hanger, I held it up against my chest and looked in the mirror.
Draping it over my chair, I fought through that depressed feeling that had lingered ever since we got home. The main thing was that Phoenix was OK. The fact that had nothing to do with me and everything to do with his brothers was a hard pill to swallow.
You could never make him happy, especially when he finds out you’re a thief.My feelings for him had always clouded my judgment.
Phoenix had once again pierced that shell I had grown over the last year, and I didn’t know what to do about that.
As I piled my school books on my desk, I glanced back at the jersey, and a cunning plan started to hatch.
*****
Later that evening, I managed to catch up with Micah, but didn’t see Phoenix again that night. I toyed with the idea of going to his room, but I was worried that I might just end up pushing him away again. He’d opened-up slightly in the car and allowed me to see his emotional side. Not something he usually did. Nix had always been the strong one, unlike me. It had brought me a comforting swell of peace, even if that was short-lived.
I didn’t have time to stew over anything. Phoenix and I were speaking again without fighting, and I knew I needed to bide my time. If I got my problem under control, maybe I never needed to tell Nix about it? There were also exams to think about.
The next few days were busy at school, and I felt swamped. It was cram week, and every junior had their heads in their books. I was assigned a new study buddy.He was new to our school and a science major, which was why he was matched with me. I was also asked to show him the campus. His name was Harrison Walsh; he was tall and good-looking, like a walking, talking breath of fresh air. My first impression was that he was a nice, normal guy who came from a decent family with both parents still together and a sister, albeit an annoying one from the sounds of things. He carried no annoying jock vibes, brooding intensity, or boy from the wrong side of the track’s aura, and it was refreshing. We sat together at lunch a couple of times, and halfway through the week, we exchanged phone numbers. And he probably had no awareness of the Sawyer Brothers and their stupid ass warning that all boys should give me a wide berth. I was still pissed about that one.
Molly and I caught up a couple of times during recess, but she wasn’t around during lunch, which was another reason I ate with Harrison. She apologized, saying that cheer practice appeared to be taking over her life. We messaged each other through Snapchat on and off, but it was usually just funny memes and pictures, nothing of substance, and I was desperate to speak with her to see if Hudsonhadsaid anything about Phoenix. I also hadn’t had the chance to tell her what had happened between us.
On Wednesday, whilst we were at our lockers, Molly explained that Storm had asked if we were both free for a sleepover the following night. Storm wanted to discuss outfits for the game on Saturday to ensure there were no wardrobe clashes. Like that wouldeverhappen, both Molly's and Storm’s sense of fashion was totally different from mine. Plus, I had already decided. My outfit for the game was intended to make a statement and send a clear message. One that I imagined both would understand and agree with.
I wouldn’t usually have joined in with a sleepover on a school night, but I decided to accept. Girl talk would be better than no talk. I wondered what Storm and Molly would say when I told them what I had decided to wear for the game.
As far as Phoenix went, we didn’t get to speak as there were always others present. Hudson watched us both like a hawk, and I wondered how much he knew about what had happened.I don’t kiss and tell, Phoenix had once said. Thank Christ for that. I would have been mortified if he had told the boys I saw as my brothers about the sex noises I’d made.
I messaged him a few times, but just about regular stuff. He did reply, but he didn’t elaborate on anything about his mother. It was like our road trip had never happened.
The house was quiet, and so I made good use of the time to study.
All the Sawyer boys were absent from home most evenings that week, and I knew they were hitting the bars after college. Micah was only home until the following Sunday, and so they didn’t have much time to waste. The fact that they never invited me niggled, but I was used to it. I’d never been able to make myself look old enough to get into the places they went.
Each night after practice, the boys and their teammates went to the Touchdown Tavern. It was a popular bar frequented by college football and hockey players. It was also the venue where a handful of boys from our football team, the Harbor Hawks, attempted to kick back. Not everyone got in, though, even those with fake IDs.
Due to its hot clientele, the Tavern also encouraged a fair share of jersey chasers and puck bunnies, like bees to honey. Or flies to shit, depending on your viewpoint. I purposefully didn’t spend too much time wondering what Nix was getting up to there. What was the point? At least he hadn’t brought anyone home since he’d rescued Courtney at Storm's party.
Did that mean he’d agreed to that truce we’d spoken about that day? Who knew? It was a complex situation. Too much had been left unsaid after the sexual shit that had gone down between us.
After school on Thursday, as planned, I met up with Molly, and we waited for Storm by the school gates. She was due to drive over after she’d finished her day at Epic Heights.
I stood hugging my elbows, half freezing to death. The weather had started to cool significantly in the afternoons, and I had no jacket.
Molly had explained that Hudson, Phoenix, and Reed were at practice and then were going to the movies with Micah. She said the Coach had given strict instructions that the team was to stay off the booze for a couple of nights in preparation for the game on Saturday. If they were to win, they could become contenders for the future playoffs.
