Chapter 27
Riordan
The door to the bathroom slammed shut just as Indigo began to retch. I ran a hand through my hair and worked to calm my racing heart. That goddamn motherfuckerRoark Callahan had not only ruined the plan we’d laid for his brother, but he’d thrown a giant middle finger up as firework cocks erupted in the metaphorical sky to signal his contempt for the system we existed within. Organized crime in America had come a long way, especially since the days whencaporegimeslike John Gotti snatched global notoriety on the front page of tabloid papers. Things were different now since the invention of social media and the twenty-four-hour news cycle. We had to be more careful than ever before to evade the law and ensure our businesses continued to thrive. Roark Callahan had just single-handedly plunged the Irish mob into chaos, because I had no doubt that his transition to power wouldn’t be a smoothone. The ripple effects would not be unfelt, even this far from the East Coast.
That fact alone was enough to piss me the fuck off, but add to that the burning fury that raged in my bones when he admitted to what he’d done to my poor cousin…Roark Callahan was a fucking dead man. I prayed to Christ above that I was the one who got to watch the light in his eyes dim with death. Knowing that he’d—fuck. What I’d already known he’d done to my cousin had been horrific, but the knowledge of exactly how much he’d taken from her made me want to fucking hit something. I paced before the door to the bathroom, stalking to and fro in a desperate bid to expel the energy pulsing through me that demanded I act now and do something to make this right. To fix the problem and enact retribution for my aunt and cousin, but…how could I possibly pretend I could make this right? If I slit Roark’s throat at this very moment in time, Tatiana wouldn’t be any less dead. Indigo wouldn’t be less traumatized.
I felt agitated and irritated that we’d been forced to pretend things could be smoothed over with Seamus before Roark had blown our plans,and his brother’s head, to smithereens. A pang of regret flashed through me when I thought of the look on my cousin’s face when I’d asked Seamus how he’d make things right between our two families. My father had raised me to obscure my true thoughts until they were unrecognizable by others, so Indigo didn’t know that I hadn’t been entirely on board with having her in the room for this call. I didn’t want her to be hurt more than she already had been. I knew my father felt the same, but sometimes he had to do things a certain way as thepakhanthat would seem callous or cruel to an outsider.
I knew my father would rather die than continue to work with the Callahans, but Indigo didn’t. I could hear her in the bathroom, sniffling and rinsing her mouth out. I turned to mypakhanand said what I should have said before that damn call. “She wasn’t ready for this. I know you wanted Seamus to acknowledge what we’ve learned and to see if Roark would react to her presence, but we should have prepared her more.” I shook my head and paced restlessly in front of the bathroom, needing to explain to my cousin so she didn’t believe the worst of us. We were bratva, but we had a code of honor among thieves, and Indigo needed to know that we would protect her and never allow anyone else to hurt her.
“She’s not as delicate as you think,” my father replied, leaning back into his chair. “I told Indigo to control her reactions and not to allow them to know her true feelings. She failed. Roark saw that and used it to his advantage, aiming to hurt her and sow distrust between us. She may be upset, but she will learn. You would do well to remember all I’ve taught you,mal’chik. You show your concern for her too readily before our enemies.”
“I will not apologize for lettinganyoneknow that Indigo is untouchable,” I argue, something I hadn’t done since I was a teenager. Generally, I didn’t argue with my father because he was usually right. You don’t get to be thePakhanofpakhansin America without acquiring wisdom and learning how to outmaneuver your enemies. On this, however, we disagreed.
“All you’ve done is made her even more desirable for that psycho!” he said with a pound of his fist on the conference table. “You’ve shown that we value her. I wanted him to underestimate our connection to her, to underestimate what we’d do to keep her safe. Both of you have now made that impossible.”
“Rabid dogs don’t plan or rationalize, theyreact. Roark was always going to come for her with everything he had. Our involvement won’t change anything for him. His end goal remains,” I said with a frustrated wave of my hand, dismissing his words. “This moment has been fated since the second he killed Tatiana and took Indigo. It was always going to come to this, and when he makes his move, we’ll eviscerate him.”
My father sighed as if I’d disappointed him. “Righteous anger and hubris. They don’t call him the Beast because he’s mindless,mal’chik. He may not be able or willing to set aside his psychotic obsession with Indigo, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a capable strategist. You’re underestimating him, and it could get your cousin killed.”
Before I could respond, the bathroom door whipped open. I turned, ready to apologize to my cousin, but before I could open my mouth, a fist slammed into my cheek.
“Smooth that over, asshole.” Indi’s eyes were red-rimmed, and she seethed, hands clenched into fists I now knew packed a hell of a punch. I held my hands up in a soothing gesture—I hoped.
“Lisichka, we were never going to continue working with the Irish.”
“But you said—”
“I told you before we began,” my father interrupted her. “You must learn to control your reactions. It’s fine to express your thoughts when safe among your most trusted family, but no one else. This puts not only you at risk but everyone close to you. Seamus Callahan cracked your shield, and Roark was able to cut you off at the knees.”
Indigo squared her stance and shoulders, eyes spitting emerald fire at my father across the table. “You make it sound like there’s a leak in the emotion dam in my brain, and all I need to do is plug the hole and everything will be copasetic up there. All my sloshy feelings will stay inside emotions, and nothing will get out. Except I don’t only have one hole!” Indigo was yelling at this point, and I said a silent prayer of thanks that we’d soundproofed this room because I would never ever be able to explain to the guards why my cousin was screaming about how manyholesshe had to Mikhail Aleksandrovich Petrov.
“I have more holes than I have fingers, my emotional brain dam is like Bobdamned swiss cheese! So tell me,Uncle, when exactly in the three minutes between you telling me toplug it upand Uncle Roark making Seamus’s head pop like a cyst was I supposed to reach emotional enlightenment? I’m healing, not healed.”
“You’re right,” my father admitted with a sigh. I shot my father an irritated look. He could admit that he’d been wrong to include Indigo, but when I said it, I got the disappointed dad speech? “I should have given you more time to process. If we lived in an even slightly better world, you’d have all the time you’d need to heal the wounds you carry in peace, and Roark Callahan would no longer breathe air. But here, in the world we live in, you don’t have that luxury. I expect you to remember who you are, the value of the life you live now, and to perfect that mask. You are too strong to allow that monster to truly conquer you.”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried!” Indigo cried in a hopeless wail. “Uncle Roark has terrorized me my entire life. I don’t know how to rise above that kind of fear. He’s the big bad, the terrifying thing in the dark, and I’ve barely survived him. How do you get over something like that, when it feels like it’s become a part of you?” What began as a rant ended as aplea. My father stood from his seat and rounded the table. He tenderly grasped her hands, which were still clenched tightly into fists.
“You feel as though your fear is a part of you, like the air in your lungs and the marrow in your bones, but this is just an insidious trick that fear plays on the mind.” His fingers gently massaged her fists, coaxing her to relax her body and open her ears.
“Fear is akin to an anchor tethered to your ankle, weighing you down until you drown. However, fear is also something that can be shed, so you can slip free of its grasp and finally breathe. If you can learn to set aside your fear, Roark will no longer have any power over you. Can you think of anything else that would piss the bastard off more?” Indigo huffed a weary-sounding laugh, but I still stood out of range in case she decided to throw hands again. You really never knew with this woman.
“Many of my colleagues in Moscow would blame my American upbringing and deem it a ridiculous notion, but I do not believe in treating blood like they’re simply tools in the bratva’s arsenal. I ampakhanin everything I do, but that does not mean that I cease to be a husband, father, brother, and uncle as well. You may not understand my reasoning all the time, but I need you to trust that no matter what I do, I do it in your best interest.”
Indigo narrowed her eyes at my father and took her hands back from his. “That’s a big ask. We haven’t done any trust falls or icebreakers, and you just expect me to trust you? Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to say the ‘T’ word too soon in a new relationship? It makes you look needy…or suspicious.”
“Iisus Khristos, you sound like your aunt Natalya,” my father said with a soft chuckle. “Trust me in public, and you can question me all you like in private,dorogoya. The Petrovs are a united front, always. Deal?”
My father extended his hand to shake hers, but Indi swatted it aside and offered up her pinky instead. “You got yourself a deal…if you throw in the chair.”
My father, unused to Indigo’s antics, blinked at her twice before saying, “The chair?”
Indigo jutted her chin over to the plush, high-backed leather office chair she’d been sitting in. “It swivels, and I like the little lumbar support pillow thingy. I want to spin in it and make my butt dent in the cushionso the chair is beholden only to my ass. So I’ll trade you my outward trust and private inquiries for one of your rich people's office chairs. Deal?” She looked at me. “I’ll throw in a mostly sincere apology for punching the Knob Lord over there in the face,” she murmured at my dad in a low voice, like I wasn’t standing three feet away and able to hear her.
“Deal,” Mikhail said, amusement dancing in his eyes. They shook pinkies, and Indigo turned to me with a fake plastic smile. “Riordan, I’msoooosorry I had to punch you in the face. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time.”
I raised an eyebrow at the fake-ass apology. “Knob Lord?” I asked.
