“Uh, sure.” Lennon looked at me in confusion, but I had no idea what was happening.
“Don’t interfere,” Bones muttered to me quietly, never taking his eyes off the crazy chick making her way across the clubhouse toward the pool tables. “As punishment for disregarding his orders, Duke has decided to let chica loca have her pound of flesh in restitution.” My eyebrows almost met my hairline as I raised them in surprise. Disobeying the prez was a crime in the club, and club crimes met club justice by club hands. The fact that Duke was allowing this girl to mete out punishment said a lot. And I didn’t like it one bit.
The Girl
My plans to bond with my new friend had to be put on hold once my prey caught my eye. Pyro was playing pool with Cricket and a few other guys. My conscience and I really needed to discuss the company he kept. Pyro is a bad egg, and I should know. I’d seen so many very bad eggs in my time. I wasegg-celentat spotting them. My lips curved in a demented little smile as I mentally high-fived myself for my pun. I’m so funny. Pyro might not think so in a few minutes, though. Well, he might. I’m pretty damn amusing, and laughter is for all. I’d never be stingy with something like laughter unless it was Uncle Roark. Fuck him.
“Hold my beer, bestie,” I said to Lennon. “It’s time to unleash my lady vengeance.” I walked with purpose across the room, dodging people dancing and talking in groups. The room was hazy with cigarette smoke, but I was laser-focused on Pyro. I casually stopped at the table where Pyro was playing and innocently looked up at Cricket. He was in on my talk with Duke and knew what was up.
“Hey there, Girl. You need something?” Tricksy Cricket, I loved that my conscience had a sense of humor. He’d need it with me. Pyro and the two other guys playing pool that I wasn’t familiar with stopped what they were doing to leer.
“I got what you need, Girl,” Pyro said, grabbing at his crotch and biting his lip. Ugh, barf. Had anyone ever seen him do that and been likeoooh, yes please, tell me more!Like, seriously. Barf. Cricket stood back a little, giving me room to move because he knew what was coming. I sidled over to Pyro, batting my lashes.
“Oh yeah? And what is it I need?” Pyro was facing me now, his pool cue lying forgotten on the table at the prospect of whatever he thought was about to happen. I was quite a bit shorter than he was, so I was looking up through my lashes at him, pretending to be coy. Pyro reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear before painfully tugging a handful at the base of my neck. It was evident that he was used to handling women this way as he sneered, “My cock down your throat. Why don’t you be a good little slut and get on your knees for me.” Pyro watched my face, waiting for fear and obedience to override my senses. He was fixing to be very disappointed. It would take a lot more than Pyro’s weak, woman-beating ass to scare me.
Instead of dropping to my knees like Pyro suggested, I opted instead to stiffen my fingers and jab them right into his throat. Shocked, Pyro released his grip on my hair and grabbed his neck, coughing. I reared back and drop-kicked him right in the nads. That’s two. Pyro fell to the ground, where I straddled him and went to town, keeping count as I punched him. I was on nine, stabbing my fork into the meat of Pyro’s thigh, when someone grabbed my arms and hauled me off a very bloody Pyro who was coughing and gagging on the ground. Not to be short-changed, I managed one more kick and snarled, “That’s ten. We’re even now fuckwad. Lady vengeance!” Cricket held me by the arms, firmly but not hurting, and looked over at Duke.
The entire room had gone silent. I think they were in awe at seeing lady vengeance being meted out right in front of them. It’s a pretty intense thing to witness, I guess. Duke looked pissed. Maybe I had gone too far? I mean, I didn’t think so. I said I wouldn’t kill him, and he was definitely still breathing because dead men didn’t whimper.
“Pyro went against my direct order and abused a guest under my roof. Fuck around and find out. Pyro, clean yourself up and get to the infirmary. I don’t want to see your face for the rest of the night. The rest of you, show’s fucking over.” With his presidential address concluded, Cricket released my arms, and we were given a wide berth as we headed back to the bar.
“Damn, Girl, you’re fucking vicious. Remind me not to get on your bad side,” Cricket muttered. I smirked.
“I’m sure you’ll remember, but if you ever need a practical demonstration to remind you, I’ll be happy to oblige.”
“I’m sure you would, crazy girl. I’m sure you would.”
Cricket walked back to the bar with me, where Lennon gave out a whoop before handing my beer back to me.
“Holy shit, Girl, you’re my new hero! Please tell me you give ass-kicking lessons. I’ll be your padawan learner, no questions asked. This place has been an epicenter for testosterone poisoning, and we need some female badassery to balance it out.”
“I’ll teach you anything you want: how to kill a man with your hands tied behind your back, how to ninja sneak, how to be a Disney princess…” Priest, who had been silent thus far, chose to interrupt my verbal badass bitch résumé with a very rude scoff. Bones watched our interaction silently, his eyes flicking from Priest to me.
“How are you like a Disney princess? Maybe Aladdin, with your whole full-of-shit street rat vibe, but a princess? Please.”
“Well, Growly Gus,” I said, holding up three fingers. “First, I have a tragic backstory and no parents. Second, I have a trusty steed who goes by Sheila and a Cricket who’s my conscience.” Priest looked at Cricket over my shoulder like he was confused as to why I was bringing him into this, but if Cricket and Bones hadn’t informed Priest of our connection, I wasn’t going to burst his bubble. “Third, woodland creatures and other animals fucking love me. I made friends with a possum once, and it showed me this abandoned trailer where it lived with its babies. I crashed on her couch for a week and was one of the family. So, like I said. Mother. Fucking. Disney. Princess.” I mic dropped and took a swig of my beer, turning my back on Priest. He could go be growly somewhere else.
“Seems legit to me! What do you think, Tank?” Lennon snickered at Priest and slid a beer down the bar to a huge slab of man meat seated a few stools over. The dude was huge, at least 6’7”, and buff all over.
“For the love of all that’s holy Lennon, leave me out of it please.”
Interest piqued, I turned to Tank. “Why did you choose Tank as a road name?”
“Because”—Cricket snickered—“Built Like a Brick Shit House was already taken.”
Tank must not have wanted to make friends at this juncture because he rose from his stool and stomped over to the pool tables. I really hoped he was a friendly giant.
Cricket gestured to Bones and Priest, and the three men relocated to the opposite end of the bar to gossip or whatever it was they didn’t want to discuss with Lennon and me listening in.
“Is there someplace we can work out and practice?” I asked, getting back on topic.
“Yeah, one of the outbuildings is a gym. It’s not much, but it has some weight-lifting equipment, a treadmill, and some mats. We can meet up there in the morning if you want?”
“Perfect. Just so you know, though…if teaching you I am, a Jedi you willnotbe. You can be my Sith apprentice.” I was excited at the prospect of teaching someone else what I knew, especially if it might accidentally on purpose lead to the formation of our own girl band someday where we sang by day and fought crime by night.
“Girl, you’ve got big Sith energy, and I am HERE for it,” Lennon cried, giving me a high five. We both cackled like the vicious bitches we were. Oh, I was really starting to like it here.
Priest
