“No one wants you here! You think the guys want baby Abbott in the room when they get their dick sucked? Abso-fuckin’-lutely not. You think one of us wants to draw the short straw, knowing we’ll have to keep an eye on you all night instead of having a good time like we deserve? Wants to see you acting like a whore with some guy you don’t even know! Get the hell out of here before I have to be the one to explain to Mom or Dad that their precious little Ellis is a slut.”
Tears streamed down her face, leaving mascara-tainted trails from her soulful brown eyes to her chin. I had never spoken to Ellis like this before, and she couldn’t look more shocked or heartbroken if she tried.
I knew I was being an irredeemable cunt, but I needed her to listen to me and go home. I’d apologize tomorrow. I hated the entire fight; every word out of my mouth since my foot left the stairs in Reid’s living room. I knew what I said wasn’t true. The guys adored her and thought she was the most kick-ass girl they knew. She had every right to decide what she did with her body and who she did it with. I didn’t own her, and she could go to any party she wanted to… but I didn’t back down or apologize. I was a selfish bastard who just wanted to have one night away from the club and the responsibilities it represented, and I couldn’t do that with her here. With her here, I had to be Priest, and I just wanted to hang with my friends and be Lochlan for one night.
Ellis didn’t say another word. She hung her head, hiding her tears from me with a curtain of long dark hair as she got into her car. I closed her door for her and immediately turned to walk back to the party. I heard Ellis start her car and pull out into the suburban street, and I never even looked back to see which direction she drove. I wish I had. I wish someone had slapped their hand over my mouth and dragged me away into a room and knocked me out before I even went down Reid’s stairs to find Ellis and ruin her night. Ruin her life. End her fucking life.
If I had just gotten over my damn self, if I had let her have a good time in the safety of a party I oversaw, if I hadn’t broken her heart and led her to drive to a deserted parking lot to cry her eyes out…maybe then Slyzec never would have seen her. Perhaps he never would have broken her car window and pulled her into his van. Maybe he never would have drugged her…raped her…strangled her…
We’d never know now because I did what I did, and I said what I said. I went back to the party and joked with my friends. I drank, smoked, and fucked like there was no tomorrow, with no idea that for Ellis, there really never would be. I’d never forgive myself for the way I treated her and the awful things I said. I’d gladly go to hell because I knew that was where I belonged. My only hope was that when I got there, I’d find Slyzec there too. He and I deserved to burn together.
Chapter 8
The Girl
After Priest’s bitching a couple of nights ago, I did my best to avoid him. Lennon had come upstairs with the clothes I left by the pool table, and she silently helped me sort the donated clothes in my room into two piles. One contained Ellis’s old stuff, the other was a mix of clothes donated by Lennon and one of the other club girls around my size. It was a shame that Priest had so much pent-up angry feelings toward female fashion because Ellis’s clothes fit me better than the others. I might be quirky, but I wasn’t mean, so I hadn’t worn anything of hers since.
Over a week after the T-shirt tantrum, I was antsy to collect Sheila from her van spa so we could be on our way. I had fallen into a pretty fun routine here with the LC motorcycle club, but I had to stay on the move so Uncle Roark and his douchebag band of bozos couldn’t find me. I was starting to like some of the people here, even making my first-ever real human friends…I’d hate to bring unwanted trouble to their door.
After my daily morning jog, one member or another always sat on the porch waiting to keep me company for the day. They kept alternating my babysitters, probably so no one fell too irrevocably in love with me. I tried to tone down my naturally effusive charm, but putting a bushel over such a bright light is hard. All of Bob’s creatures have their struggles, and I’m just too awesome for my own good sometimes. Duke, Priest, and Pyro were the only brothers who hadn’t been in my posse. Duke and Priest were probably too busy doing big bad biker gang stuff, and Pyro was probably not allowed to get too close to me in case I killed him. Walking back up the driveway from my run, I saw that Bones and Thor were my escorts today.
The first time I met Thor, I’d asked if I could try to pick up his hammer, and he’d smiled at me nicely while he told me no. Pouting, I asked if it made him mad that he wasn’t as dreamy as the Thor from the movies, which made Bones throw his head back in laughter. Real Thor wasn’t blond and hunky, but that didn’t mean he was ugly. He had black hair and ocher eyes, a wiry frame, and stood at about 6’3”. His eyes were his most striking feature: amber with gold and dark brown specks. Apparently, Thor is his road name, but his parents named him Knox, and he said I could call him whatever I wanted as long as I kept running every morning in the workout gear Lennon had loaned me. We shook on it, so I’ve been running and calling him Thor ever since.
Panting as I made my way to the porch, Bones handed me the bottle of water I had left on the porch while Thor eyed me up and down. After drinking about half the bottle, I turned to Bones.
“Is Sheila ready to go yet? We really need to get going. We’ve got a lot to do and a man to see about a horse, if you know what I mean.” I said, winking cheekily.
“I don’t think I do,” Thor said, canting his head to the side like a confused dog. I ruffled his hair and giggled.
“Don’t be a derpy duck, Thor. Everyone says that when they have vague important things to do.”
Thor snorted a laugh, almost inhaling the coffee he had been sipping. “Derpy duck? It’s too early for your crazy shit, Girl.”
I narrowed my eyes. I wasn’t being crazy! I looked at Thor like the dumb-dumb he was and explained, “Yes, a derpy duck. It’s like a silly goose but dumber. Everyone knows that.” I huffed, feeling offended.
Bones took this moment to finally answer my question. “Almost, chica loca. She’s running well, and her new tires are top of the line.”
I squealed in excitement for Sheila. “What else does she need done?”
“We’re working on a new paint job, and then she’ll be ready to go. How about I take you to visit her this morning? You two can catch up.”
I bounced in place and clapped my hands, so excited to see how great Sheila looked after being pampered.“Yay! Thank you, Bones, you’re the best!” I threw my arms around him in a big hug, releasing him to rush inside so I could take a shower and get ready to go. Sheila and I needed some girl time, and today, we’d get it.
After a quick shower, I threw on a pair of black skinny jeans that were artfully ripped and a faded Nirvana T-shirt I’d cut the sleeves from. Whoever owned this shirt before me was much bigger than I was. I tied the shirt up in a knot at my left side so it didn’t hang down my thighs like a giant ’90s-themed T-shirt dress. The arm holes hung down kind of low, but my bra kept my sideboob from being exposed, so I wasn’t worried about flashing anyone. Nip slips are one thing, but no one wants a whole titty falling out of their sleeve. Likeoops, excuse me, my boob just kind of got away from me there. I snickered to myself, thinking about embarrassing boob flops as I slipped my feet into my old boots, tucking a butterfly knife I’d found in someone's pocket into my right boot. My hair was tied into a high ponytail, and I was ready to go. I bounded down the stairs, passing Prospect on the way. I waved good morning to Bear and Bard, drinking their coffee at the bar, and hurried out to meet Bones on the porch.
“Less than fifteen minutes, chica loca. I’m impressed.”
I preened at his praise, doing a little spin and a curtsy.“Let’s go! I can’t wait to see my best bitch, Sheila!”
Bones chuckled under his breath and led me to a truck. He opened the passenger side door for me like a gentleman, so I hopped in.
“Why are we going in a truck? Aren’t you in a motorcycle club? Shouldn’t you ride a bike? Can I ride a bike? I wouldn’t be cheating on Sheila or anything. I think she’d understand that motorcycles aredifferent, and I could never feel for one what I feel for her.” I turned the radio on and started looking for a song I liked, waiting for Bones to answer me.
“I do have a bike, but I thought you might be more comfortable in the truck,” he explained patiently. “Bikes aren’t everyone's cup of tea, and I didn’t know how you felt about them.”
I continued scanning radio stations until I found a song I liked. “Hmmm, well tea isn’t really my cup of tea since you brought it up. I’m a coffee girl all day, every day. You’re right, though. I’ve never been on a bike before. I bet I’d like it, though, even though bikes don’t have ample cargo space like a saucy van I know.”
“I’m sure you would, chica loca. One thing at a time, though. Let’s go see Sheila and worry about motorcycles another day.”
