I was going to go mad! All around me the night was still. I sighed, lying stiff and sore on the hard bed, teeth gritted. It was going to be a long, long night.
What seemed like hours later, a choked sob, muffled by bedcovers, disturbed the silence. Sitting up, I looked across at the blanket covered mound in the bed across the room. The mound was shaking, the covers shimmering in the moonlight, very soft sobbing seeping through the covers and tarnishing the night. I couldn’t stand it.
In an instant I was at his bedside, unsure what to do. Tentatively I laid a hand on his shoulder though the bedcovers. He froze mid-sob.
“It’s okay,” I whispered, “You’re safe. I’m not going to touch you.”
He burst into a barrage of tears, louder this time, big gasping sobs. Even coming from under the blanket, I was sure they were loud enough for any shifter nearby to hear him.
“What’s wrong? Please stop. I don’t mean to upset you. Are you afraid of me?” I murmured. I had to keep my voice down. If any member of the pack was nearby, they mustn’t hear me comforting the omega or I’d give myself away. It definitely wasn’t the way an alpha in this pack would be expected to behave. I had a feeling they would enjoy the omega’s distress; for me, it was like being gutted with a knife.
“Don’t… don’t you want me?” he choked out, “I thought maybe… maybe…” His voice trailed off, fading into another round of sniffles.
What? He was upset because he thought I didn’t want him? I felt a flash of indignation.How could he think that?But that thought was erased in a flash of understanding as a burst of light exploded in my brain. My body thrummed with hope.
“Hush,” I told him, pulling back the covers. “Of course I want you. You’re” –mine,my wolf suggested helpfully – “you’re gorgeous.”
He sniffed and looked at me uncertainly over the tears pooling in his eyes. A droplet rolled out the corner of one eye, glistening as it rolled down his cheek.
“Here, if you don’t believe me,” I told him, taking one of his hands and placing it over my crotch. His eyes widened as he felt my hard cock tenting the thin fabric of my sweatpants. “Of course I want you,” I explained, “but I don’t want to force you.”
“Oh!” he gulped. There was a moment of silence while he seemed to be thinking. I waited to see what he’d do, what he’d say. He didn’t remove his hand from where I’d placed it. After a beat, his hand tightened around me.
“It’s not forcing if I want it too,” he hiccupped. Then, changing topic, “What – what are you doing here, in the pack? Are you one of Zarbius’ friends?”
“That disgusting asshole! No way. I’m almost offended you could think that!” I mock-glared at him but he looked so alarmed that I dropped the pretense immediately. “I’m joking. You’ll get used to me. I was looking for you. Why didyourun away? I don’t like you staying here… I want you to come with me.”
I paused and added, “This really isn’t a safe place for omegas.”
Chapter 14
TOSCA
The night had been going so well.
I’d been so excited when the beautiful alpha showed up in Owen’s and my room. I just knew he was here for me. Well, I hoped he was, anyway.
He homed in on me with his piercing eyes, looking right past Owen – who the betas and alphas all seemed to love – as if he wasn’t even there.
He’d recognized me in the food hall, though he’d kindly not said a word. He surely knew I wasn’t supposed to run away from my pack for my heat. Hell, I probably owed him an explanation for that. Oh, maybe that was what he’d come for. The kernel of hope that had dared sprout inside me wilted. Probably that’s why he was seeking me out now, nothing more. Maybe I’d face an inquisition, and then what? I’d have to hope he didn’t mention my transgression to Zarbius. I shook my head to clear the stupid thought from my mind. Of course, he wouldn’t tell him. It had been obvious from the start that he was kind and gentle, not at all the sort of alpha who would do anything to harm me. Hemight not be interested in me specifically, but he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.
I followed him out of the omega house. My heart sank a little as I stumbled after him. He seemed so distant. He didn’t talk to me or even look at me, and by the time we’d reached his cabin, my heart was heavy with misery. I was either getting a severe talking to or maybe I was just getting fucked… but there wouldn’t be anything more to it than that, and frankly that sucked, not that I’d really expected anything different. I’d known from the start he was way out of my league. I bit my lip and told myself to man up. I’d had that interlude in the cave with him, and I needed to be satisfied with that.
I sighed and looked around as we entered the cabin. I’d never been in one of the cabins before, which was a blessing, because the omegas only came here when one of the visiting alphas chose them as a bed companion for the night - something I’d successfully avoided until now. But I certainly wouldn’t mind being a bed companion forthisalpha. Even if it didn’t mean anything to him. Which it probably wouldn’t. It couldn’t. Could it?
He locked the door behind us.
I shivered and bit my lip uncertainly. Was I going to get the talking to or the sex? I was hoping it might be sex, because I could smell his arousal.
The alpha pointed at one of the beds. “You can sleep over there. I don’t expect anything from you.”
The disappointment hit me like a blow. Feelings aside, how about my pride? Here I was, locked in a room with a horny, sexy alpha and he didn’twantto have sex with me! The same alpha that had held me and fucked me and taken care of methroughout the days of my heat. The truth was shattering. He didn’t find me attractive at all! I was crushed, especially after the amazing time we’d – correction,I’d– had during my heat. I’d thought he must have been a little attracted to me for the sex to be that good, but it seemed he didn’t find me desirable at all. It must have all been the heat pheromones.
Well, it wasn’t a surprise, was it? I’d already told myself a hundred times that I wasn’t in his league, hadn’t I?
Not wanting to seem any more pathetic than I was, I wasn’t going to beg for it. Crawling onto the bed, I tucked myself into a miserable little ball and pulled the covers over my head. Even squeezing my eyes tightly shut wasn’t enough to keep the tears from trickling out. I didn’t know why he’d brought me here, but he didn’t want me. I didn’t know how to deal with that. Honestly, I was gutted.
The bed on the other side of the room creaked as a heavy weight settled into it. Then there was silence, a heavy, oppressive silence filled with the broken pieces of my stupid hopes. As much as I’d told myself I wasn’t good enough for an alpha like this, deep in my heart, I’d hoped…
