Chapter Sixteen
The next fourdays passed in a blur of work, making love, and brief excursions into Bakewell or other nearby villages.They dined out for many of their meals, and walked and walked down narrow cobbled streets, in snow and rain.
Those four days were magical, days that Cat would never forget.Every day at least once the girls would call their dad and Rhys would light up, happy and relieved to hear from them.But the phone calls were always short, and Rhys sometimes struggled after they hung up, missing them.
Ever since the call an hour ago, Rhys had been quiet.They were both on the couch, Cat sitting up, Rhys stretched out, his head in her lap.
He’d been reading earlier, but the book had slipped to the floor.Now his head was turned, and he was staring into the fire.Cat idly traced the line of his strong brow before down his straight nose, over his lips, to his equally strong chin.He had the face of a gladiator, or a warrior, which was only fitting because when he was in the operating room he was fighting death.He was fighting to save someone.
“I don’t know why it has to be them or you,” he said after a moment.“I don’t know why I can’t have you both.”
Her hand stilled.“I’m not making you choose.Oh, Rhys, how can you think that?”
“I love being here with you, but when we leave, I go home, and they return to me, and then you’ll be gone.I can have you now, and then I can have them then, but I will never have you all at the same time again.”
It did sound awful put like that.
She carefully smoothed his dark hair back from his brow.“But that’s not what’s happening.You do know that, don’t you?”
“All I know is that soon I lose you, and it’s because of them.”
“No, Rhys.It’s not because of them.It’s because of a promiseImade.I promised Jillian she didn’t have to worry about me.I told Jillian I wasn’t a threat, not to her, not to her family.”
“And how do you get to decide that for me?Why don’t I have any say?”
She had no answer for that.She bit her lip and prayed that the right words would come.They didn’t.
Rhys sat up and stood and then walked across the room.“You should get some sleep, Cat.It’s late.”
His cool, almost cutting dismissal made her chest tighten.
She stared at his back, at the rigid set of his shoulders in the flicker of firelight.“Don’t do that, Rhys.”
He turned slightly.“Do what?”
“Dismiss me as if I’m one of your girls up past her bedtime.”
His jaw flexed.“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Yes, you did.You don’t like what I’m saying so you’re going to make me feel small and bad, but I’m doing the right thing, keeping my promise to Jillian.She has to know that she can trust adults.She has to know that one’s word matters.”
“And what exactly am I supposed to feel, Cat?That you care for me, but you’re leaving anyway?”
She rose, too, the blanket sliding from her lap to the floor.“You’re not the only one who’s hurting.”
He turned toward her fully, eyes dark, unreadable.“Then help me understand how walking away fixes anything.”
Her heart twisted.“It doesn’t.But I can’t break the promise I made to her.She trusts me.”
He gave a low, incredulous laugh.“You made a promise tomydaughter—a promise she couldn’t possibly understand.She’s a child, Cat.She doesn’t know what it’s like to find someone who feels right.Someone who fits.”He shook his head, voice quieter now but no less fierce.“But you do understand.You know exactly what this—us—is.”
Cat met his gaze, her pulse thudding, her body trembling.“That’s what makes it so hard.I do know.”
“Cat, love, you belong with me.”
Her eyes burned and she pressed a hand to her middle, pressing back against the pain.“But you don’t come alone.You’re part of a package, a family package, and we don’t have a chance if either of your girls oppose the relationship.”She drew a quick, sharp breath.“I had friends in school whose parents remarried and so many of those relationships were angry and volatile, or cold and unhappy.I don’t want that for you.I don’t want that for your girls.And, Rhys, as much as I care for you, I don’t want that for me.”
“So, we just walk away?Let this end?”
