Cat swallowed and struggled to keep her temper in check.“You’re right.I don’t.Not yet.But I’m trying.And I wish you would try too.”
Jillian glanced up at her then, eyes bright, her features tight with emotion.“Why?Because you’ll be gone soon anyway.At least I hope you’ll be gone.Just because you’re American doesn’t mean Dad will fall for you, too.”
Stunned, Cat took a step back.Had there been another nanny?
Or did something inappropriate happen?“I don’t understand.”
“You think because you’re American my father will fall for you but you’re wrong.He still loves Mum.He’ll never love you.”
Cat felt that one in her chest.“I don’t… Jillian.What on earth are you saying?I am so confused.Who else is an American?”
“Mum.”
“Your mother is American?”
“From Texas.Houston.”
“I had no idea.”
“It doesn’t matter.”Jillian jumped down from the wall, brushing snow from her coat.“You’ll never meet her.You’ll never have the chance.Charlotte will be back soon, and you’ll be long gone.”Then she turned and walked back toward the cottage, steps fast and furious.
Cat stood for a long moment, her eyes burning, the wind biting at her cheeks, her thoughts running wild.She liked to think of herself as intelligent, someone good at solving problems and untangling messy histories.But this family… this tangle of grief and hope and fear… was a bruising knot she hadn’t been prepared for.
After a moment, Cat swallowed hard and pulled herself together.Olivia would be waiting by the snowman, bright-eyed and trusting and there was no way Cat would expose Olivia to the hurt.
Cat and the girls returned to the cottage.Jillian hung her coat neatly on the peg and went upstairs without a word.Olivia followed quietly, unsure what to say.For that matter, Cat didn’t know what to do with herself.
“Do you want to do a puzzle with me?”Cat asked Olivia a few minutes later, after spotting the girl sitting on the couch looking small and sad.
“No.I just wish Mum was here.”
Cat joined Olivia on the couch.“I’m sorry she’s not here too.It’s really hard without her, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Olivia said, snuggling up against Cat.
Cat wrapped her arm around the little girl and gave her a squeeze.“What would your mum do if she were here right now?’
“Oh, she’d give Jilly a proper telling-off for being rude.Mum’s a softie, unless you’re rude.She hates that sort of behavior.”
“What else would she do if she were here?”
Olivia thought for a moment, her gaze skimming the room.“She’d make it look like a proper English Christmas.We’d have a tree, and stockings, and something pretty on the mantlepiece—Mum always does.”
Cat looked around the sitting room with the fire that had nearly burned out.“It doesn’t look very festive, does it?”
“No.Everything here is old and tired, like no one really lives here.”
“It is a holiday self-catering cottage.Lots of people come and go.”
“It looks like it too.”
Cat checked her smile.“We could spruce it up, you know.We’ll be here for three more weeks.”
Olivia sighed.“I wish we could go back to London.”
“Do you have a Christmas tree there?”
“No.Daddy said there was no point since we’d be here.”
