Left behind him, he meant. I’d never seen Ethan like that before—on his knees in the rubble, Maya’s blood on his hands, that look in his eyes like something had broken inside him that would never be fixed. We’d all carried her body out together, but Ethan had refused to let go until we reached the extraction point.
“This isn’t the same,” I said.
“Isn’t it?” His gaze was penetrating, clinical. “You care about this woman. About her kid. If it comes down to choosing between them and completing the mission—if those two objectives diverge—what choice do you make?”
“Mission first, always.” The words came automatically, the mantra drilled into us from day one. The code I’d lived by for a decade.
Ethan studied me, his expression making it clear he saw right through me. “So you would let her die to complete the mission? Or the little girl? If it came down to it?”
The question cut to the heart of everything—my training, my duty, the code I’d lived by for years. The correct answer was yes. The mission above all else. No single life outweighed the objective, especially when that objective was stopping mind control technology that could enslave thousands.
I opened my mouth to say it, to give him the answer he needed to hear. But standing there on Dutch’s porch, with Evelyn’s scent still on my skin and the memory of Sophia’s small hand in mine, the words wouldn’t come. I thought of Sophia’s serious little face when she’d asked if I was coming back. The way Evelyn had looked at me last night, like I was something more than just a weapon pointed at a target.
The silence stretched between us, answer enough.
“That’s what I thought,” Ethan said, reading my silence accurately. His expression didn’t change, but something in his eyes shifted. Not disappointment exactly. More like recognition. Like he’d suspected this all along and I’d just confirmed it.
“So here’s what happens now,” he continued, his voice taking on that command tone that left no room for argument. “You run Team Alpha exactly by the book. No heroics. No deviations. You disable that cell tower, and you get your ass back to the rally point.” He stepped closer, close enough that I could see the exhaustion etched in the lines around his eyes. “Because if you die trying to be a hero for her, I’m going to be pissed.”
The closest thing to “I care about you” that Ethan Voss was capable of expressing.
I wanted to tell him I understood, that I’d follow orders, that he could count on me the way he always had. But we both knew something had shifted. In less than six hours, we’d be deployed. Facing trained mercenaries, mind-controlled civilians, and advanced technology with lethal applications. My team would be looking to me for decisions, for leadership, for the cold calculation that had kept us all alive on previous missions.
And for the first time in my career, I wasn’t sure I could deliver.
Ethan exhaled hard. “Just… remember who you are when the bullets start flying, Bricks.”
Yeah, easy enough for him to say. Problem was, I didn’t know who I was anymore. Was I still the dedicated operator who’d put mission above all else for the last decade? Or was I the man who’d held Evelyn through the night, who’d promised Sophia he’d come back, who suddenly had something to lose beyond his next mission?
Ethan must have seen the conflict in my face because his expression shifted. It wasn’t a softening exactly—Ethan didn’t do soft—but something close to understanding crossed his features. He reached out and gripped my shoulder in a rare physical gesture that was the closest thing to an embrace either of us would allow.
“Come back alive,” he said simply. “That’s an order.”
Then he was gone, back through the screen door to finalize preparations with the team, leaving me alone with some uncomfortable truths.
Through the window, I saw Evelyn still kneeling beside Sophia. She looked up, her eyes finding mine through the glass. Even from here, I could see the worry in her face, the questions she wanted to ask but wouldn’t. Not in front of her daughter. Not in front of the team.
I rested my forehead against the sun-warmed wood of the doorframe, trying to center myself. In less than six hours, we’d be deployed. Facing everything Ethan had just warned me about. And I’d be leading a team while thinking like a man with everything to lose.
In our line of work, that kind of thinking got people killed.
But Ethan was right about one thing. I was compromised. Completely. The moment I’d set eyes on Evelyn and Sophia again, professional distance had become impossible. I’d broken my own cardinal rule: never get attached to what you can’t afford to lose.
Tonight, that mistake might get us all killed.
CHAPTER 16
EVELYN
Night fellhard and fast over Slickwater County, stars pinpricking the black canvas above us like tiny flashlights in a sea of ink.
Dutch’s truck rumbled beneath me, the worn suspension groaning over each rut in the dirt road as we made our way toward the Longfield place. I gripped the door handle, knuckles white, half listening to Dutch rattle off the names of families still on our evacuation list.
Twenty-two unaffected people scattered across miles of ranch land, all needing to be rounded up and moved before the Edge Ops teams began their assault at dawn.
My neighbors.
My friends.
