The words taste bitter. I don’t ask for help. I don’t need people. But here I am, hat in hand, because my mother was right and I’m too stubborn to admit it to anyone but myself.
Derrick leans against his desk, arms crossed. He’s not a small man, but next to me, everyone looks small. Dark skin, kind eyes, the sort of easy smile that makes people trust him. We’ve been something like friends for a year, which is probably why he’s the only person who still takes my calls.
“You ran off the last three employees I sent you,” he says. “And the four before that. I’m running out of people willing to make the drive up the mountain.”
“I know.”
“Maria cried for an hour after she got back. Said you made her feel like she was too stupid to operate a mop.”
I wince. I don’t remember Maria specifically, but that sounds like something I would say.
“I’ll behave this time.”
Derrick raises an eyebrow. “Will you?”
“I’m desperate. There’s a big storm coming in two days. And I’ll be hibernating soon after. My cabin is a disaster and I need someone to stock the pantry while I finish the wood deliveries. I’ll pay double. Whatever it takes.”
I reach into my jacket and pull out the envelope I prepared before I left the mountain. Thick with cash. Thousands of dollars. More than any cleaning job is worth, but I don’t have time to negotiate.
Derrick stares at the envelope. “Jesus, Tolin. Are you sure?”
“Just find someone.” I set the envelope on his desk and pull a folded piece of paper from my pocket. “Here’s the list. Everything I need to get through the winter. Pantry staples. Supplies. Enough to last a couple of months.”
He takes the list, scanning it with a low whistle. “This is a lot of groceries.”
“Bear shifter.” I shrug. “We eat.”
Derrick sets the list down and looks at me for a longmoment. The humor fades from his face, replaced by something more serious.
“Can I be honest with you?”
“Have you ever been anything else?”
“People are talking, Tolin.” He sighs, leaning back in his chair. “And not just the usual gossip. You’re getting a reputation. The grumpy bear who yells at kids. The guy who makes cleaning ladies cry. Word’s probably already spreading that you stormed into the elementary school and got into it with Merit.”
Word travels fast. Of course it does.
“She started it,” I mutter.
Derrick laughs despite himself. “Merit doesn’t start anything. She finishes it.” He shakes his head. “Look, man. I’ll try to find someone for you. But you’ve got to check the attitude. This isn’t the mountains where you can growl at everyone and they just leave you alone. These are people. They have feelings. They talk to each other.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” He holds my gaze. “Because from where I’m sitting, it looks like you’re trying to make sure no one ever wants to be around you. And I get it. I know what happened with Ronan. I know why you left the clan. But this isolation thing isn’t working, brother. You’re making yourself miserable, and you’re taking everyone else down with you.”
The words hit somewhere I didn’t expect. My bear stirs, uncomfortable with the truth of them.
“I just need someone to stock the pantry,” I say quietly. “That’s all.”
Derrick studies me for a moment longer, then nods. “I’ll find someone. And if I can’t, I’ll come up myself. You’ve got a friend in me, Tolin. That hasn’t changed. But you’ve got to meet me halfway here.”
“I will.”
“And the attitude?”
I think about Merit. About the teachers peeking out of their classrooms. About the janitor’s laugh and the way my bear cowered from a woman half my size.
“I’ll work on it.”
