"That," she announced, gesturing as the ball of compressed paper dropped into Butcher's waiting trash can with a decisive thunk, "is not mine.Not mine at all."
Lightning struck in the exact center of the town square, illuminating everyone's faces with brilliant white light but harming no one.The thunder that followed seemed to shake the very foundations of reality.
Then, clear as a bell and twice as authoritative, the Goddess's voice rang out from the heavens above:
"I DO BELIEVE THAT IS YOURS.AND YOU HAVE SOME PAPERWORK TO FILE."
Chapter 23
The Devil Oak Tree of Consequence
The lightning strike had barely faded when purple and teal crystal bubbles began materializing in the air above the town square.They descended gracefully, finally popping to reveal the Goddess herself, wearing her signature mom jeans, oversized t-shirt, and chunky dad sneakers.Her casual attire did nothing to diminish the divine power that radiated from her every gesture.
"Sister," she said with the tone of someone who'd had this conversation before, "we need to talk about your filing system."
The Goddess of Death rolled her eyes dramatically, her own appearance a study in contrasts—bedazzled wings paired with an expression of sibling exasperation that transcended divine status.
"Not in front of the mortals, please.They're already traumatized enough."The Goddess of Death propped a hand on her hip.
Her concern for the crowd's mental state was genuine, though somewhat undermined by the fact that she was floating several feet above the ground while holding what appeared to be a trash can filled with the remains of a former celebrity author.
"Oh, they're fine," the Goddess replied, waving a dismissive hand."Besides, this concerns them.You can't just let souls spontaneously combust without proper documentation."
The bureaucratic nature of divine intervention was becoming apparent to the assembled crowd, who watched the exchange with the fascination of people witnessing a very unusual tennis match.
"I didn't let anything happen!"the Goddess of Death protested, her bedazzled wings fluttering with indignation."That was justice.He had it coming!"She gestured at the trash can still floating beside her, its contents glowing faintly in the light cast by the very presence of the goddess sisters."Paper fragments.Clearly a case of spontaneous combustion brought on by angelic magic meeting a corrupted soul."
The Goddess examined the remains with the practiced eye of someone who'd dealt with inter-dimensional paperwork forever.Her analysis was thorough, precise, and swift.
"Ah, I see the problem.This soul was recently deceased and still in processing.His crimes were never discovered in life, so he hadn't been properly sorted yet."
"Exactly!"the Goddess of Death exclaimed, her voice carrying the satisfaction of someone vindicated."He was technically still in limbo—all the standard afterlife tests hadn't been completed yet.His corruption was completely hidden because no one knew about the murders, the theft, the abuse..."She made an explosive gesture with her hands."But when that potion hit him, it revealed his true nature instantly.Truth revealed, justice served, soul dehydrated into bits of paper.Poof!"
The clinical description of Cornelius's destruction was delivered with the matter-of-fact tone of someone explaining a routine administrative procedure, though the implications were anything but routine.
"So, what you're saying," Sean interrupted hesitantly, his voice carrying the careful respect due to beings who could erase him from existence with a thought, "is that Cornelius was already damned?"
"Oh, absolutely," both goddesses said in unison, their synchronized response suggesting this was a common occurrence in their line of work.
"The potion just...expedited the paperwork," the Goddess explained with a shrug."Very efficient, actually.I'm impressed."
"Sorry, did you say murders, thefts, and abuse..."Roam was stunned by the litany of wrongs Cornelius was guilty of.
"Yes.We did."Again, the goddesses answered in unison.
"Our dastardly Cornelius was indeed a bad man, from conception really."The Goddess of Death mused."He killed his poor twin in-utero.Then of course there is our sweet Evelyn."
Evelyn's face went pale."Me?"
"Yes, my dear.You."The Goddess wrapped her arm around Evelyn's shoulders gently."Unfortunately, nothing I could do to stop him."
"Nor I, before you all go perpetuating that old lie."The Goddess of Death crossed her arms.
"But why?How?"Evelyn's voice was not shaky, just surprised.The revelation hit her like a physical blow, her newly solid form trembling as the truth sank in.
"Darling, do you remember the argument with Cornelius before you died?You stood up to him that day.You threatened to leave him.To take your talents elsewhere.TheEnchanted Authors Quarterlyto be exact.They'd approached you about an editing job that very week."The Goddess's voice was infinitely gentle.
"Right!I remember.It was so odd, out of the blue really."Evelyn's brow furrowed as the memory came flooding back.“I’d never done anything like that before.And I thought the job was probably too good to be true."
