Marty Tuey and his former skeptics had emerged from Tab's Café, their worlds completely rearranged by what they had witnessed. Marty approached Tandy with an expression of profound disappointment.
"You were going to sell our town to... that?" He gestured toward the departing Ronald, who was still trying unsuccessfully to reattach his toupee. "A spray tanned vampire with a bad toupee and a bedazzler?"
As the blood moon waned, its crimson light fading from Cauldron Falls, the town's residents gathered in the square. After erasing the memories and transporting the humans back to civilization, all the dangers had passed. The vampires were defeated without a single casualty.
For now, Cauldron Falls was safe from vampire resorts, bad toupees, and orange spray tans.
Morning Glory (No More Gory)
Cauldron Falls awakened to a brilliant morning, the events of the blood moon night already transforming into the stuff of town legends. Shop owners removed garlic strands from their doorways, magical barriers were dismantled, and the community began the process of returning to normal---or as normal as a magical town could be.
At The Boozy Cauldron, Murphy O'Reilly served breakfast to a packed house, everyone eager to share their version of the previous night's excitement.
"I saw the whole thing," Gloria announced to anyone who would listen, her flaming red curls even more untamed than usual. "When that vampire's hair piece fell off, I nearly died!"
"Not as funny as the spray tan running down his neck," Colin Scott countered, sliding into the booth beside her. "Looked like he'd been dunked in pumpkin juice."
Blewy, Gloria's Russian Blue familiar, sniffed disdainfully from his perch on a nearby stool. "The sparkled leather jacket was the true crime against fashion. 'Bite Me' in rhinestones? Seriously?"
The Salem Magical Authority transport had arrived just before dawn, a sleek black carriage pulled by winged horses that left no tracks. The six vampire enforcement agents---stern witches and warlocks in crisp gray uniforms with silver badges---had efficiently loaded Ronald and his coven into containment chambers specially designed for transporting the undead.
"This is an outrage!" Ronald had bellowed as they secured his hands with silver cuffs. "Do you have any idea who I am? I'm Ronald Bitterhump, future owner of the most exclusive vampire resort in North America!"
"Actually, sir," the lead agent had replied while consulting her paperwork, "you're Ronald Bitterhump, three-time violator of the Vampire-Witch Coexistence Treaty, unlicensed resort developer, and unauthorized tanning bed user. The Transylvanian Tribunal has a whole file cabinet dedicated to your violations."
Those who witnessed the transport couldn't stop discussing the vampire's reaction to learning his fate. The once-feared Ronald, stripped of his toupee and with his spray tan streaking his silk shirt, had looked significantly less intimidating in the morning light.
"Did you see his face when they told him the Tribunal's Chief Justice is Count Federico, the vampire fashion critic he insulted at the 1989 Midnight Gala?" Dottie Darwin asked her sister Darlene, both giggling like schoolgirls. "Went paler than a vampire should!"
As for Tandy Keyes, she had been escorted to a separate transport---a modest carriage bound for the Salem Correctional Facility for Magical Offenses. Unlike Ronald's dramatic protests, Tandy had approached her fate with surprising composure, pausing only to hand out business cards to the bemused transport officers.
"Tandy Keyes, Future Prison Real Estate Consultant," the cards read. "Specializing in Cell Upgrades and Incarceration Interior Design."
"I've identified a serious market gap," she'd explained enthusiastically to anyone who would listen. "Prison cell aesthetics are tragically neglected! With just a few simple modifications---accent pillows, coordinated wall hangings, strategic furniture placement---even the most dismal holding cell can become a 'desirable detention domicile'!"
Her last words before the transport left were, "If anyone's looking for reasonably priced properties in my absence, Robyn’s Realty in Assjacket has a fair commission structure---though obviously inferior to my own special rates!"
She'd spent the journey sketching designs for a vision board titled "Post-Incarceration Empire: The Comeback Tour" and drafting a prison newsletter column called "Sell Block Tips with Tandy." The Salem guards later reported that her first request upon arrival wasn't for a lawyer, but for better lighting "to properly showcase cell features during potential showings."
The Magical Tribunal had scheduled her trial for the following month, though rumors suggested she was already attempting to broker deals with other prisoners, offering to "optimize their cell's feng shui for a small consulting fee."
The door to the pub swung open, and Honey and Maisie entered to a round of spontaneous applause. The sisters had spent the night at the falls, reinforcing the protection spells that had proven so effective against the vampire coven.
"There they are!" Murphy called proudly. "The sisters who helped save our town!"
Maisie blushed, looking surprised at the warm reception. Though still showing signs of her ordeal---she occasionally startled at sudden movements, but the overall difference in herdemeanor was remarkable. She walked with more confidence, made eye contact, and when she smiled, it reached her eyes.
"Morning, heroes," Vlad greeted them cheerfully, tipping his hat. "Ready for a victory breakfast? Murphy's serving 'Vampire Vanquisher Pancakes' with extra garlic. Bit much for breakfast, if you ask me, but the town's in a celebratory mood."
"How are the containment spells holding up at the falls?" Roam asked as the sisters sat down.
"Strong," Honey confirmed. "Maisie's connection with the water is remarkable. She's reinforced the natural protections so effectively that vampires won't be able to approach the water for at least a century."
Maisie shrugged modestly. "The falls wanted to be protected. I just helped them express that intention."
"That's quite the talent," Vlad observed. "Water witches are rare, especially ones who can communicate with magical water sources."
"Speaking of talent," Roam said, "that was quick thinking with the falls water last night. I've never seen vampires move backward so fast."
