"Shallow?" Honey suggested.
"Commission-focused?" Roam offered.
"I was going to say 'on-brand,'" Vlad chuckled. "Even facing imprisonment for murder, she's still trying to sell properties."
In a few hours, Ronald Bitterhump would arrive expecting to claim Cauldron Falls as his vampire resort. Instead, he would find a town united against him, armed with knowledge of his ridiculous weaknesses and prepared to defend their home.
And in her holding cell, Tandy Keyes was already drafting plans on a napkin for a new business venture: "Reformed Villain Properties---Specializing in Second Chance Real Estate for the Magically Incarcerated." There might not be vampire commission in her future, but there was always a new market to explore. Perhaps they'd let her keep her license on probation?
"Prison consultant does have a certain ring to it," she mused, adding "Corner office with barred windows?" to her notes. "I could make this work!"
Fang-tastic Failure
Ronald made his grand entrance. He had insisted on a dramatic approach---his vampire coven moving in formation behind him as he strutted down Main Street toward the town square, arms spread wide like a supernatural game show host.
"Citizens of Cauldron Falls! Ronald has entered the building!" he announced to the seemingly deserted streets. "Your new proprietor has arrived! Resistance is futile, but also unnecessary! Under my management, things will be great. Really, really great!"
Ronald had dressed for what he considered appropriate vampire resort-owner style---leather pants too tight for his pudgy frame, a silk shirt open to reveal his pale chest adorned with gold chains, and his prized leather jacket with "Bite Me" bedazzled across the back in rhinestones. His blonde comb-over had been freshly styled and heavily lacquered to withstand the night air, and his skin glowed with an unnatural orange luminescence that made him look like a traffic cone that had achieved consciousness.
From Tab's Café, Marty Tuey and his former skeptical followers watched in stunned silence as the procession of actual vampires passed by their window. Marty's protest sign reading "Vampire Panic = Economic Damage" slipped from his nerveless fingers.
"Is that... is that a vampire with a fake tan?" one of his supporters whispered in horrified fascination.
"And a bedazzled jacket," another added faintly.
Marty's worldview crumbled before his eyes. "Vampires are really real," he murmured. "And they have terrible fashion sense."
Behind Ronald, his coven moved with less enthusiasm than their leader. Most were newly turned---former tourists from Ronald's last failed venture in Denver---and their control over their vampire abilities was tenuous at best. They looked nervously at the seemingly empty town, sensing something wasn't right about this easy entrance.
At the rear of the procession, several vampires guarded a small group of human captives---hikers with terrified expressions who stumbled forward with their hands bound.
From hidden positions throughout town, Cauldron Falls' defenders watched the vampire procession. Roam, positioned on a rooftop with several Shifter officers, signaled to teams stationed at strategic points. Honey and Leahnora monitored from the town hall, ready to activate the magical barriers when needed.
In the town square, Tandy waited nervously. As part of the trap, she had been seemingly "freed" from custody, positioned to lead Ronald into the prepared ambush. Her role as bait wasn't voluntary, but with magical restraints hidden beneath her sleeve that prevented her from warning Ronald, she had little choice.
When Ronald swept into the square, his coven arrayed behind him and his captives guarded at the rear, Tandy hurried forward with an ingratiating smile.
"Ronald! Thank goodness you've come! I've prepared everything just as you---"
"Tandy Keyes," Ronald interrupted coldly. "My loyal real estate agent. Or not so loyal, considering your capture."
"That wasn't my fault!" Tandy protested. "That vampire hunter---Vlad Marcum---he tricked me!"
At the mention of Vlad's name, Ronald's orange complexion paled slightly. "Marcum is still here? In Cauldron Falls?"
"Yes, but I've evaded him," Tandy assured him quickly. "The square is prepared for your ritual. I've made sure of it."
The blood moon reached its zenith, bathing the town square in crimson light. Ronald stepped into the center of his vampire circle, raising his arms dramatically.
"I, Ronald Bitterhump, claim this territory and its magical waters in the name of the Eternal Night Vacation Consortium!"
Leahnora gave the signal, and Honey and Maisie activated the enhanced falls water, creating a shimmering blue barrier that encircled the vampire coven. The water's magical properties, freely given by Cauldron Falls' protectors rather than stolen, glowed with power against the undead intruders.
But as the barrier formed, one of Ronald's vampires stepped forward, removing a small vial from his coat. With practiced precision, he hurled it at the water barrier. The vial shattered, releasing a cloud of shimmering orange powder.
"Excellent work!" Ronald crowed, his confidence returning. "See? This is why I'm the best vampire entrepreneur! I hire people who prepare for contingencies!"
Where the powder touched the barrier, the water hissed and dissipated, creating a widening hole in the town's primary defense. Several vampires immediately leapt through the gap,seizing two of the Shifter guards and dragging them back into the circle.
