Not closure.
Not even Will.
I think I’m just waiting to disappear a little more each day.
And I am. Piece by piece. Quietly. Elegantly. Like someone packing away a life they no longer have the strength to live.
No one sees it. No one stops it.
And that’s the most terrifying part of all. That I could fade, completely, and not a single soul would notice.
Liam and Olive’s wedding day arrives like a spotlight I never asked to stand in. I’m dressed in the soft, summery blue gown Olive picked for us. It’s flowy, delicate, and ethereal. The kind of dress that’s supposed to make you feel like part of something beautiful.
But all I feel is like a ghost playing dress-up in someone else’s life.
Connie and Ruby sit on a velvet settee, huddled together with misty eyes as Olive gets ready, radiant in lace and laughter. People buzz around us with champagne flutes and curling irons. The room smells like hairspray and roses and joy. I smile. I talk.I even laugh when someone makes a joke about baby spit-up being the new perfume.
But inside? I’m not here. Not really. I’m somewhere far away. Still in the stairwell at the hospital. Still at the bottom of my kitchen floor. Still holding the ashes of a version of me I don’t recognize anymore.
At one point, Olive turns to me, glowing, eyes shining with that vulnerable kind of love that only exists in the final, quiet moments before a life begins.
“Can you go get Liam?” she asks softly.
I know what she means. It’s the look Charlie gave Sam when they got married. A look that saysI need you before I promise myself away.
So I nod. And I go.I make my way through the church toward the groom’s room, heels quiet against polished floors. I pause at the edge of the hallway, just as I hear them talking on the other side of the door.
Liam’s laughing.
“You ever gonna settle down?” he asks.
Will answers, voice too familiar, too casual. “Me? Nah. The bar is my wife. And she’s a jealous lover.”
The guys chuckle.
Liam teases, “We really need to get you laid.”
“I saw Olive’s maid of honor. Pretty sure she taught Jesus in kindergarten. And Ruby’s pushing ninety. You stacked that bridal party against me.”
My feet stop moving.
My chest goes still.
The bridal party that consists of Ruby, Connie… and me.
I’m not even a footnote.
Not even a joke.
Just nothing.
I stare at the floor, face burning. My throat closes around something bitter and sharp and quietly devastating.I don’t even register that I’ve curled my fingers into fists.For one awful moment, I consider running.Locking myself in a bathroom stall and falling apart like the coward I’m terrified I’ve become.
But Olive needs me.
And if I can’t be wanted, I can at least be useful.
So I knock.
