I walk through life like I’m in a dream I can’t wake up from. I smile when I have to. I eat when someone makes me. But inside? Inside, I’m still on that ranch, looking for you in every creak of the floorboards.
I miss you.
God, I miss you.
Love,
Charlie
Dear Sam,
I had a job interview today at a local news station. It wasn’t what I pictured when I first started in this industry, but they saw something in me. They offered me a producer position.
Saying yes felt like letting go. Like I was folding up the chapter of us and putting it on a shelf. But maybe moving forward isn’t the same as giving up. Maybe it’s just breathing through the pain.
Because I still love you.
I always will.
Love,
Charlie
Dear Sam,
I started the new job this week. It’s different from anything I’ve ever done. The team respects me. I have a voice. I’m learning again. Tonight, I went out to dinner with some of the staff. We laughed, shared stories. I even caught myself smiling like it didn’t hurt.
But nothing touches that space in my chest that belongs to you. That space where your laugh used to echo, and your hands used to rest.
I heard your interview. You sounded tired. I wonder… do you still wake up reaching for me, too?
Wherever you are, I love you.
I always will.
Love,
Charlie
Dear Sam,
It’s been two months since I left the ranch.
Two months since I watched you disappear down that long gravel road not knowing it’d be the last time I saw you. Two months since I walked away from the only place that ever truly felt like home.
I regret it every single day.
Life is moving on around me. People laugh. Traffic hums. The world spins. But I feel stuck like I’m suspended in time, caught between what was and what could have been.
I go through the motions.
I wake up.
I shower.
I try to eat.
But the truth is I’m unraveling.
