My eyes widen as I watch her continue to rant, calling our boss some of the most colorful names I have ever heard.
“That limp-dicked potato better just wait for when I see him next! Not only that but that pig of a client you have been seeing. He better not come into the club ever again. I don’t care how big he is; I will beat a motherfucker for putting his hands on you!”
I chuckle, unable to help myself from smiling at the protective side of her. For a Beta, she has a ridiculous amount of Alpha qualities.
Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if she is masking like I am.
“I don’t think he will be much of a problem anymore…” I trail off, finally looking up at her.
She lifts an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue.
“The only reason that I was able to get away was because three guys jumped in and pulled him off me.”
Luna’s eyes widen with interest, her previous anger gone quicker than I can blink.
“Three guys you say…”
I roll my eyes at the suggestive undertone in her voice. “Yes, Lulu. Three Alphas stormed in and saved the day.” She goes to speak but I stop her, holding up a finger. “Before you get too excited and say what I think you are going to say, no, I didn’t stay around and wait for them to finish their beat down of the crusty foreskin.”
“So they beat him up for you?”
She pretends to swoon, collapsing into a heap on the couch. “Oh, Valentina. Your knights in shining knots swooped in and protected your chastity. How incredibly noble of them! Oh, I just know they will call on you!”
I snort, slapping Luna on the thigh. “Fuck off. The last thing I need is a man in my life. They’re too much drama.”
I do my best to act nonchalant when on the inside, I am anything but.
She scoffs, “I don’t mean you need to fall in love, have a litter of children and a white-picket fence. I mean, when was the last time you got any?”
“I…” I drift off with a shake of my head. She's got me there.
Luna gives me a pointed look. She already knows just how long it has been since I have been with anyone but my vibrator. The thought of sleeping with someone, even if that someone is just a Beta, gives me hives. It would be near impossible to not out myself there and then as an Omega. While I feel much more secure around Betas than Alphas, I don’t need anybody in this new life of mine knowing my deepest secrets.
“I just … I don't think I am ready to put myself out there again. I already feel bad enough missing out on so much time with Amity. Adding someone else to that mix just feels like a disaster ready to happen.”
It's Luna’s turn to smack me then. “Stop that self-hate bullshit, Valley. I don’t have to tell you that you are the best fucking mother on this entire planet. You live and breathe for that precious little girl. You don’t make a single move without thinking about her.” She straightens her posture and grabs my hands, bringing my full attention to her. “It's okay to be selfish. It’s okay to be a mom but still prioritize you and the things that make you happy. It’s okay to have a day off. To just be Valentina and not be Mama.”
“But, I just…” I trail off again, unable to really find the words. I know part of what Luna is saying is true but I still can’t stop those negative thoughts from surfacing.
“I am the only person that Amity has. She relies on me to be there for her. To be stable and to provide. If I am off with some guy, I can’t do that.”
“Stop,” Luna pauses, her face scrunching. “Amity doesn’t only have you. She has me as well. I love that girl just as much as I do any of my nieces. I also know for a fact that even if you didn’t need the help, Mrs. Perry would demand to spend time with Amity.”
Luna is right. Like she normally always is.
Mrs. Perry has adored my daughter since the moment she heard her cries in the hallway the day I brought her home.
While I had spoken to my elderly neighbour a few times up until that point, the moment she saw my little girl's face, it was like something in her changed.
Those first few weeks, Mrs. Perry was practically over every single day, helping to put us into a routine, allowing me to sleep after an entire night of being awake and ensuring that I also looked after myself.
She was the mother that I needed but didn’t have.
I know without a shadow of doubt that I wouldn’t have survived the newborn period if it wasn’t for her.
“You have a village, Valley. It's okay to call on us. It’s okay to put yourself first.”
I deflate completely. There is no use fighting it. What Luna is saying is right. I do need to be selfish. I do need to put myself sometimes.
