“Would it have changed anything if ye did?”
“Maybe. Maybe nae.”
Emma moved to the window to watch the maids and grooms move back and forth. Her eyes landed on a corner of the courtyard where she saw a maid and one of the guards talking. She recognized the smile on the maid’s face and the red hue that crept up her cheeks.
A part of her had always thought that was the kind of love she would get. As a poet, she had always thought that was what she deserved, nothing else.
Now, she knew she couldn’t get that.
Jack had not courted her. At least not formally. Their story was probably the most unconventional one that had led to marriage. But she had freedom and peace of mind.
At the end of the day, that was what mattered.
Yet her gaze wouldn’t leave the two lovebirds talking below. She watched the guard pull the maid in by the waist and watched the maid giggle in response.
If she was satisfied with her decision, why in God’s name was she still looking? Why was her heart heavy with thoughts that wouldn’t go away? Did she want morethan freedom and convenience with Jack?
“Emma—”
Her mind flashed to the adventures she had had with him since she had arrived at the castle. The dance at the cèilidh, the training sessions, that moment in the library.
The library.
“Emma—”
She squeezed her eyes shut and let the late afternoon breeze caress her face. Perhaps she wanted more than just convenience. Perhaps in the four days she had spent trying to get him to convince her to stay, she had fallen in love with him.
No, not perhaps. Shewasin love with him.
“Emma!”
Her eyes shot open, breaking her reverie. She must have been lost in thought for far too long. She exhaled and tore her gaze from the window, settling it on her sister once again.
“Are ye all right?”
“Aye. Me apologies, I must have?—”
“Aye, ye must have.” Ava stepped forward. “Ye do want to proceed with this wedding, do ye nae?”
Emma laughed. “Of course I do. I suppose I just thought everything was happening too fast.”
Ava drew a stool close and sat down. “Listen. Whatever comes of it, I’ll be here. If ye find joy, I’ll rejoice with ye. If it turns bad, I’ll stand by ye. Ye’ve been by me side me whole life. The least I can do now is return the favor.”
Emma turned back, the corner of her mouth quirking up. “Ye make it sound as if I’m marching to war.”
“Marriage can be, if the wrong general leads.” Ava’s smile warmed. “But ye’ll hold yer own.”
Emma touched the sleeve of the gown. The silk felt cool and smooth. “I daenae ken if holding me own will be enough.”
“It will,” Ava assured her. “And if it isnae, I’ll be by yer side.”
They fell quiet. The wind whipped at the window and then ebbed. From below, laughter rose—probably from the guests.
Ava spoke without looking away from the cradle. “Do ye want this, Emma?”
Emma pondered the question for a moment. “I want the baby safe,” she replied. “I want a life that makes sense.” She breathed out. “And I want to stop running from what is already in front of me.”
Ava nodded. “That sounds like wanting him, at least a little.”
