“It felt like what my books said kisses should feel like. But I was also terrified. Our marriage is one of convenience; surely, inviting intimacy into it will only complicate it further. And then there is the fact that I cannot let myself feel these things for a man I do not know. There is so much I do not know about him, so I cannot trust him. Edmund kept so much from me, and theDuke is doing the same thing, even though his reasons seem different.”
Isabella nodded, her eyebrows knitted together. “It is the feeling of not wanting to be an open door physically while being shut out emotionally.”
“Exactly,” Sibyl agreed. “I do not want to let myself be vulnerable with him if we cannot have that in every way. I know it is still early in our marriage, but I want to know exactly where I stand with him. He has saved me, and that is why I cannot risk anything going further.” She sighed, brushing back a loose strand of hair in frustration. “And yet I cannot stop thinking about him in that way.”
Isabella nodded again in understanding. “When I wed Oscar, every door was locked to me, literally and figuratively. He lived in a locked house, and I was barely given any keys. It took him a long time to trust me, no matter how much I pushed. But Sibyl, it was worth it. We grew closer. He, too, saved me, and I fell for him.
“Putting yourself within boundaries will only complicate things further. If you open yourself to other possibilities, it will feel less heavy. There is no convenience versus intimacy. The boundaries within marriage can be shifted.
“If you wish to kiss your husband, then kiss him. If you wish to get to know him better, then do not ever stop asking. These types of men… they have been forged by pride and duty. They have lived independently for so long that it takes time to share theirlives and pain—for therewillbe pain, just as you have yours. Let him in at your own leisure, though. Do not let him demand everything of you without receiving anything in return.”
“I just do not want to get hurt,” Sibyl whispered. “I am still that girl you always laughed at when you found me in the library on my fourth romance book of the week, daydreaming about becoming a wife. And yet I feel so far from her at the same time.”
“You have just said it yourself. You are still her. You are still that girl, deep down. She has just been buried by adulthood and too much pain. Sibyl, my dear, you are twenty and have already been through a tragedy. Your life has been turned upside down, but you can still find your way back to her. And who knows, perhaps your life with His Grace is the path back to that which you do not know you need.”
“What if I embrace that path but find myself walking alone? I do not want to be alone in my marriage, Isabella.” Sibyl blinked away sudden tears.
Isabella squeezed her hand tightly. “You will never be alone. And if the Duke hurts you, you already have two brothers-in-law at the ready to fight for your honor. Two sisters, too, and I am certain Alicia will be right behind us.”
Sibyl laughed through her tears. “Heavens, I believe she would barrel through all of you to be at the front.”
“Exactly.” Isabella laughed with her before pulling her into a tight hug. “Now, I was thinking of inviting Hermia, Charles, andPhoebe over for dinner tonight while you are visiting. Can you stay for a few more hours?”
“I want nothing more than that.” Sibyl grinned. “I am sure Phoebe will be more than happy to see her cousin, after all.”
“Indeed. Come on, let us go and plan.”
Chapter Eleven
After Gabriel dropped off his wife at Rochdale House, he directed his carriage towards White’s, a gentlemen’s club that he had been a member of ever since he had acceded the duchy.
The club had gained its notoriety thanks to his predecessors’ patronage for the past four generations, which had earned him respect there without having to intimidate anyone.
Striding in, he was immediately led to the room where he usually conducted meetings. It was off to the left of the main room, where the clinking of glass mingled with the thwack of billiard balls. He made a beeline for the private bar and ordered a brandy before sitting down to wait for his associate.
Lord Godfrey arrived right on time, starting when he saw Gabriel already sitting there.
“Your Grace, I apologize for keeping you waiting,” he said as he sat down, motioning for the nearby server to bring him the same drink.
“You did not.” Gabriel took a sip of his brandy. “I came here early.”
“Ah. Most dukes I have met with often arrive late.” Lord Godfrey laughed.
“I beg to differ.” Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Now, you mentioned in our correspondence earlier this week that you reached out to a cousin in Italy regarding the establishment.”
“Indeed, I did, and I have received word.” Lord Godfrey opened his briefcase and produced several documents. He handed Gabriel a letter from his cousin, a map, an outline of a building, and a proposal.
Gabriel cocked his head at that. “What is this?”
“An investment offer from an unknown person in Italy,” Lord Godfrey told him. “Word has spread about your idea and?—”
“I wish to be the sole financier,” Gabriel interrupted. “They were my terms.”
“I understand, but extra funding is always helpful.”
“Ican provide extra funding. This is not some coin-grab that anyone should be able to invest in. This building will mean a great deal to me in a way it will not to an investor just looking to gain from it.”
Lord Godfrey shook his head. “I do not believe this is just anybody. There is a note attached to the proposal.” He tapped a piece of paper that had been clipped to the back of the document.
