We move to the living room and streaming apps flicker on the massive television screen. I scroll, my heart thudding when Scrooge appears on the screen. It was her favorite, ghosts and fresh starts. It's a simple thing to see if her memory sparks. A mash up of my desire to reveal the truth and playing it out slower.
Chancing Dylan's ire, I say, "How about Scrooge? The guy gets a do-over."
"Does he have amnesia?"
"No, but he has to face his missteps." I look at Dylan, making sure he gets my point.
"Let's give it a try, but first, do you have a shirt or something I could change into?"
I get a t-shirt for her and when I offer sweatpants, she declines.
"The shirt is fine. Unless you require pants for dinner."
We all laugh, and I suspect she doesn't fully understand why. One time when Dylan showed up for a meal without a shirt, Mom had a fit. Being a smartass, he agreed to wear a shirt but came back to the table without pants. Mom wasn't humored.
Nikki and I were.
Mom sent all of us to eat outside.
Back in the living room, Nikki drags three adult-size beanbags from the corner, forming a nest in the middle of the living room floor. We sink in awkwardly but it works. Her head finds my shoulder. Dylan gets her lower half.
It's like the good old times when she was a kid and liked it when her big brothers watched movies with her. It wasn't our choice as much as our parents demanding bonding time.
Man, things have changed.
I'm about to start the movie when my brother says, "There's something I'm curious to know if you'd like."
"I have a limited set of answers, but I'll try."
"It's about sex."
"Okay…" She draws the word out. "Even more limited."
I'm worried he's going to jump right in so I intervene. "Do you have any desires… anything you'd like to try? No judgement here, we'll try anything that makes you happy."
She scrunches her lips and shakes her head. "Life's been too… I don't know how to explain it."
He says, "Losing your memory, your identity, can't be easy."
"At first all I wanted was to get my memory back, but I quickly realized that when I saw myself as… a void, everyone took pity on me. It may not have exactly been a memory, but I knew I wasn't someone to wallow in pity."
I love that she's opening up to us and I appreciate that she still has the same fire. "Signing up for the auction makes that pretty clear. You know what you want."
"The woman who owned the shelter I went to for a week helped me get a job here so I used that as my path forward. Don't get me wrong. I still hoped to get my memories back, but being responsible for myself was an important step."
We wrap her in a hug. Through all of her strength, I still sense her vulnerability. The best way to handle this is to support her, which is exactly what we plan to do.
She wiggles between us. "So, how about dinner, a movie, and some more fun?"
"It's late. You sure you don't need some sleep?" Toby asks.
She grimaces. "It's possible I won't make it through the movie."
"Would you rather we wake you up, or let you sleep through the night?"
I see where Dylan's going with this. Well done, brother.
"I wouldn't mind if you woke me up, as long as you do itnicely."
