“Good idea.”
I’m shaking like hell as I prepare for the meetup, switching frombasic, into a cute little black velvet dress with fishnets. I have to brace my elbow on the dresser to do my catflicks, I’m trembling so bad, and have to start over on my lipstick halfway through, since I’ve smudged outside the lines.
Josh keeps his tight black jeans on, but changes into a fitted shirt and deep purple tie. Trademark him. The streak in his hair has been freshly dyed, and looks seriously vibrant.Helooks seriously vibrant. Well dressed and confident with a smile to die for. Only tonight, it’s all surface level. His hands are shaking as bad as mine as he checks out his tie for the hundredth time in the dresser mirror.
“You look amazing,” I say. “For real, Josh. You look incredible. Even though you’re crapping it.”
“Thanks, baby. So do you. You look like a goth ballerina in that getup.”
“I don’t feel amazing,” I admit. “I feel like a jangle of nerves. Happy, excited, over the moon, yeah. But I’m shitting myself. I think I could throw up my chicken Caesar salad like the girl from The Exorcist.”
He manages a laugh at that.
“That makes two of us. Good job we haven’t got spinning heads.”
“Good job we don’t needeyesin the back of spinning heads anymore. Thanks, Connor, for keeping everyone else’s eyes away from me.”
“And thanks,Daddy,too,” Josh says. “We landed lucky with our client list. That guy is a legend.”
“He sure is.”
I wrap my arms around my gorgeous boyfriend from behind, resting my chin on his shoulder as I meet his gaze in the mirror.
“We’re going to do great, Josh. It’s Heath. We know him, we adore him. We can work this out.”
“Jesus, I hope so. I don’t know what the fuck we’re going to do if this is goodbye.”
Josh doesn’t feel like Josh right now, even in his hot attire. He’s twitchy. Insecure.Scared.It’s such a reversal, me acting asthe figure made of steel, trying to keep him secure in his hour of need.
“I can’t wait to see him,” Josh says. “It feels like he’s been gone for years.”
“Only a few minutes left, then he’ll be right in front of us. We’ll be able to sort things out, face to face. We have to.”
“Been a long time coming.” He lets out another sigh. “Way too long.”
I get a stab of guilt, because if it wasn’t for me and my fucking catastrophe of an exposure, then this crazy, fucked-up situation would never have happened.
Still, there’s no point dwelling on the past. That’s what Dad has been telling me for months.
Just keep your eyes on the future, Ella. It’ll be alright. The world will keep on turning.
The world doesn’t feel like it’s turning in this hotel room, though. Everything seems paused at a standstill. My cheeks are burning underneath my makeup, and my heart is pounding in my ears, but I try to stay calm as the minutes pass by. I need to stay calm for Josh. It’s my one chance to be his rock in the storm.
It’s like we’re waiting for a superfan Heath Mason meet and greet when Josh finally pulls up the proposal on his phone. It’s time.
“Here we go,” he says, and clicks onarrived.
Fucking hell, I’m having palpations as we wait for a reply, staring at Josh’s phone screen.
And I’m sure I nearly pee myself when the ping comes through.
Next door,to the right,the message says, and my mouth drops open.
Heath’s been next door the whole time. Just there, through the wall. So close, but so crazy far.
“Whoa,” I say. “He’s right there. He could have just knocked for us.”
Josh smirks. “That’s Heath’s style. Sometimes the closest shadows are the hardest to see, remember?”
