“I found these.Do you recognize them?”
After gently placing the box in front of my mom, I set the stereo up on the counter, plugging it in.
“These … they’re not …” When I turn, she has a tape in her hand, staring at it like she’s cradling a ghost.
I limp over, choosing another from the collection at random and popping it into the player.After a moment, we hear a voice.
“Good morning, Colorado!It’s your girl, Silly Selena, back with the best beats in town?—”
Seeing the shimmer in my mom’s eyes, I stop the tape.
“They’re all you.Every one.Grandma Minnie listened to you.She loved you, but you never spoke.”I sigh, collapsing into a chair across from my mom.“Living here, I can see myself drifting away.Just like she did.”
My mom is quiet for some time, her fingers tracing over all the tapes.
“I understand, Zoey.Where you’re coming from … I understand.But it’s not the same thing.”
I huff, but she waves to keep me quiet.
“You know some of my childhood.That my father died in a motorcycle accident.That your grandmother kept me secluded.That I left when I was eighteen and never looked back.”She sucks in a bracing breath, and I find myself reaching for my tea.“But that’s just a rough outline.You deserve the whole story.”
Selena Gunner settles into her chair, her voice taking on a quality that has thousands of people tuning in to her radio show every morning.My mom knows how to captivate an audience, and I’m not immune.
“Your grandfather was a friendly man.I’m sure if you ask anyone in town who knew him, they’d say the same.He was on the town council.He was a volunteer firefighter.He played with a band at the local bars.And some weekends, he would take his bike out of the garage and go on long rides with the local motorcycle club.”
“Grandpa was a werewolf?”I clutch my chest, as if expecting to find a sudden growth of hair there, displaying my supernatural lineage.
Mom chuckles.“No, he wasn’t.But back then, there wasn’t as much of a separation between the wolves and the townspeople.Back then, everyone knew.They all got along just fine.”
Strains of music drift in from the front porch, my brothers smoothly sliding into some bluegrass.The sound is naturally soothing and has my muscles relaxing without thought.But it does nothing to stifle my curiosity.
“What happened?”
Mom takes a sip of her drink before powering on.“The night before my sixth birthday, your grandfather went out on a ride.He didn’t come back.Around midnight, Minnie got a call.Apparently, there was an accident with a tractor trailer.It ran multiple bikes off the road.Of course, all the other riders were werewolves.They were hurt but healed quickly.My father was the only one who died.”
I try to imagine my mom as a girl, small and vulnerable.But she’s so much larger than life that I struggle with the idea.
“By all accounts, it wasn’t the club’s fault.But your grandmother got it in her head that they were responsible.That the love of her life would still be alive if it wasn’t for the pack.”
“But it was the truck?—”
Before I’m done speaking, she’s already nodding.
“Yes.Still, when you lose someone you love, you don’t always react rationally.Minnie went into overprotection mode.She had two people in her life she loved, and one was gone.So, she clutched me closer.She cut off contact with everyone who wasn’t necessary.Homeschooled me.Forbade trips into town if she didn’t accompany me.Her anger and distrust of the wolves affected some townspeople.And later, I learned the pack leader felt responsible.He also pulled his people back, not wanting to be the cause of any more civilian deaths.”
The knowledge of this hits me hard.My family is the catalyst for the lines drawn through Pine Falls.The divide traces back to this event, the night my grandfather died on the wolves’ watch.
“You see, sweetheart, your grandmother didn’t drift away because she was introverted.She ripped herself away because she was grieving.And …” She sighs a sad breath.“I do think she suffered from some mental issues.Ones she refused to talk about or seek treatment for.Sometimes, she’d mutter things about the wolves working with demons to collect souls.That they took my father’s life in payment for mine.”She digs her thumbnail into the woodgrain of the table.“It took me a while to understand my mother.Too long.By the time I started to work through what made her the way she was, I was already pregnant with Abram.I reached out to Minnie, and she came up for his birth.But she only stayed long enough to hear his name and to give me a blanket.Then, she said I’d made my choices and it’d be best if we kept to our separate ways.”
“That’s harsh.”Sadness clutches at my chest.I can’t imagine what I would do if my mom told me to keep away from her.
“It was.And I fell back into my resentment as easily as a pair of well-worn jeans.But I can’t help thinking she didn’t mean what she implied.That, secretly, my choosing to leave was something she approved of.”
“I don’t understand.”
My mom’s smile is sad.“After years of being kept secluded, I was adept at sneaking out.And I’m sure you know what’s only a few miles down the road.”
“The Rabbit Hole,” I murmur.
