"Sure, it makes sense. If you are you and Yelena," Bas replied with an eye roll.
"You can do all of this, but can't find this Midir guy?" Bridget interrupted. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." Valentine kept his expression carefully blank. He knewoneway to find Midir, but he didn't like it.
Perhaps having Bas there would be a good thing because he had a growing list of things to ask him. Midir could take over the mind of anyone who got too close, and that wouldn't help them in a fight. They needed to be able to protect themselves, and no one knew mind magic like Bas did.
"Can we eat now?" Valentine asked, even though his appetite was as nonexistent as ever. He needed to think and needed the rabble of his family to die down. That only happened when their mouths were full. Taranis summoned the servants, and they all moved toward the dining room.
Cosimo caught Valentine by the arm before he could enter. "We still need to talk about why your aura is so different, Val."
"I know. I haven't forgotten," he said and tried to smile. "It's a long story, and it'll be better on a full stomach."
It was a lie; eating would probably make him want to throw up more. He just needed some more time to build up the courage to do it.
Protect family. Protect mate, his dragon prompted.
Valentine looked at them all taking their seats, pouring wine, and teasing each other. Yes, he would do what he always did and would protect them all.
Even if it killed him.
33
Valentine waited until everyone had finished eating and catching up. He was tired and wanted to take Yelena back up to her tower and have his wicked way with her. There was no hope of that.
"Taranis? Can the boys and I use one of your meeting rooms?" Cosimo asked.
His uncle nodded. "Take the lounge. Quinn, Charlotte, and I want to show Lachie and Bridget some other parts of the city."
"I'll come with you," Yelena said, and her hand lightly squeezed Valentine's under the table. "Find me after."
He wanted to make her stay, but this conversation was for his brothers and father alone. Their mates would be there to comfort them afterward if they needed. Valentine had selfishly wanted Yelena to be there. She was the only one who knew the whole story, but she knew better. She always did.
Valentine filled up his wine and went and sat beside Bas. He didn't want Apollo's messy emotions, and he was struggling to look at his father as it was. Bas could be relied upon to be calm in any situation that didn't involve his mate in danger. They all had their limits.
"Okay, Valentine. It's just us. What is this all about?" Cosimo asked.
Valentine had a mouthful of wine. "If I tell you, you all have to promise not to interrupt until I’m done, or I won't get through it."
They all looked at Apollo.
"Oh, come on, that's not fair," he said and then grumbled. "Fine! I won't say anything."
Valentine ran his hands through his hair and cleared his tightening throat.
"About a week before Mom died, I had a vision of her being in an accident. I thought it was a nightmare. I had been getting a lot of them, and I wasn't good enough back then to be able to tell what was real or not," he began and drank more wine.
"I didn't say anything at the time. It was just my stupid anxiety. I was always so worried that something was going to happen to one of us. I... I had started to hear a voice inside of me. It was telling me things. It was in the dream that I had of Mom. I thought the Greatdrakes curse had finally started."
"Val..." Cosimo whispered before shutting his mouth.
"After Mom's accident, I knew it was my fault. If I had said something—anything—maybe she wouldn't have been on the road with Apollo that day," Valentine continued, his voice cracking. He stared at his hands. "I couldn't tell anyone about the vision or the voice. Dad had lost it. We were all confused and grieving and were doing the best we could. I decided I wasn't going to let the Greatdrakes madness take me away when you all needed me to protect you."
He touched the scars on his chest and the ruins of the sigil. "I learned binding magic, and I locked down the voice that had been talking to me. It cut off part of my magic, so I created more to keep it in check. I thought if I put limits on my abilities, I would always be able to control the magic and the madness."
Valentine dared to look up at his brothers. They all looked pale and upset, but not angry. That was a relief. He wouldn't be able to deal with their anger on top of everything else.
"Everything was working fine until the fae returned. It was the beginning of the struggle with my bindings," he said and cleared his throat again, needing to force the words out.
