Another wobble rippled in her abdomen, and her heart gave a hard thump.
“Indeed?” she croaked.
His gaze caught hers, regret lining his features. “The wager with Billingsly…”
“Oh,” she breathed, waving a hand through the air in dismissal, despite the sharp pang of hurt in her chest. “It’s quite all right. It was ten years ago.”
“It’s not all right,” Jasper asserted. “I cannot countenance your not knowing the truth, Maria. I admit that I joined in the laughter at the man’s crude jokes, which only served to encourage his behaviour. But Billingsly was a cad for proposing the wager from the first, and I told him so that night. I sought your hand in a waltz not to satisfy the wager, but because I wished to dance—andto prove to the blighter that not all wallflowers are undesirable.”
Hope swelled in Maria’s chest as Jasper spoke, but her fear smothered it. Jasper mightn’t have behaved the scoundrel years ago, but that did not assuage her trepidation for their current arrangement. While ten years was far too long to hold resentment or pain over his behaviour at that ball, hearing the truth was akin to the relief of a balm on a very old wound. It wasn’t, however, what she’d hoped to hear in that moment.
Jasper was still a duke who would not only benefit from, but also likely desire, afashionablemarriage to a more ordinary woman. And her heart—ifshe gave it to him—could not withstand that pain.
“We ought never to have deigned such a discussion at all, never mind in the presence of others,” he continued. “I am profoundly regretful for the hurt it caused you.”
“Thank you, Jasper,” she whispered.
“Additionally, I?—”
“Oh!” One of their new runner recruits stilled in the doorway, her eyes wide as her gaze flicked between them. “My apologies.”
“It’s quite all right,” Maria assured her, even as disappointment thudded in her chest. “We’ve concluded our discussion; you may have the room.”
This was decidedly not the time to discuss such matters. Indeed, they had a devil to capture and must remain focused.
* * *
The braised pigeonpie sat like a stone in Maria’s stomach as her family stared at her from their seats around the dining table. The air was thick and warm, heated by both the fire in the hearth and the afternoon sun shining in through the large wall of windows. It carried the rich, savoury scent of the meat pie and was heavy with expectations that she could not fulfil.
She swallowed the suddenly flavourless food. “I cannot be certain when His Grace will wish to begin preparations, Mother. We’ve only just announced our engagement, as you saw in the paper this morning. Surely we have some time. He has not yet posted the banns. And I do not wish for so much pageantry.”
Her father’s face disappeared once more behind his newspaper.
“I’ll not have our name slandered, Maria.” The woman’s face blotched with outrage, her scowl a familiar one. “You will marry the Duke of Derby expediently and with the great fanfare due to your future station. I’ve arranged all of our appointments, beginning tomorrow afternoon, when we shall visit the modiste to have you fitted for your wedding dress.”
“ShallIget a new dress for the wedding, Mama?” Caroline bounced in her seat, her dark blonde ringlets jiggling in her excitement.
“But of course,” Mrs. Roberts purred.
Augusta toyed with the sleeve of her day dress and offered a pretty pout. “And me, Mama? ShallIget a new dress, as well?”
Their mother smiled indulgently at her second eldest. “We all shall. Your sister is to marry a duke, after all!”
“What of stays, petticoats, and chemise?” Caroline asked hopefully.
“Oh! Gloves and bonnet?” Augusta added.
Mrs. Roberts clasped her hands together at her flushed chest. “Of course! We cannot appear to be paupers. I’m certain that Maria will repay us generously from her stipend.”
Why had Maria not seen that coming? Naturally, her mother would assume that Maria’s advantageous marriage would mean additional funds for her family. But that didn’t normally come from the daughter in question.
Her mother’s eyes gleamed with avarice, and Maria’s gut twisted. This would be a regular occurrence, no doubt, her family expecting funds—she could see it clearly in their smirking lips and flushed cheeks.
“I remain astonished that adukewould pay any mind to Maria. She’s entirely too plain.” Caroline adjusted her bodice.
“Indeed,” Augusta replied. “There are many handsome ladies among theton, and even more with superior breeding. I cannot fathom his reasoning.”
Maria suppressed a sigh, an ache building in her chest. Not only was her appetite gone, but the food that she’d consumed was threatening to resurface.
