Watching his hands grip the steering wheel, I noticed the ink from his tattoos didn’t extend to his fingers, though I don’t knowwhy I hadn't noticed that earlier. I loved that he didn't adhere to outdated standards like not having tattoos in healthcare spaces. Ink didn’t make a difference in regards to your intelligence. Looking at his tattoos gave me enough time to gather my thoughts.
“So, it’s all about me and being stuck in my head,” I said as I explained. “That if I allow someone else to see all my broken pieces and start leaning on them, that one day I’ll go from rules and guidance to potentially silence again in a heartbeat.” I rubbed my palms on his sweatpants to give me something to anchor to. “I’m sorry for oversharing.”
“I don’t hear you oversharing, little elf,” he said, as if he couldn’t help himself. Like the sweet and mischievous nickname from two weeks ago had always been on the tip of his tongue. “I hear pain in your words. Pain from being abandoned instead of being taken care of.”
“I didn’t think I had abandonment issues, but you’re right. My Daddy abandoned me without so much as a glance in my direction when he left,” I said quietly, thinking about it. It seemed like Bram did understand the heart of the matter. Plus, it wasn’t great to live your life without ever loving again. It would be silly to keep my heart intact rather than never taking another leap.
Bram pulled into my driveway and shut off the engine. “A Dom who leaves their submissive abruptly without structure, closure, or care is not someone who lived the role. At least in my opinion. To me? It’s someone who lived for the title. And doing those things to your Little as a Daddy? It’s unthinkable.”
He reached across the console, taking my hand in his and squeezing it tightly.
“No one’s ever said it quite like that,” I mumbled as my fingers traced over his.
“Well, I’m someone who knows the difference, Savannah. I’m not offering to step into a role that someone else abandoned. I’d like to give you structure, guidance, gentle touches, and a connection if you want it. If you are willing to let your guard down a little and allow me to be that safe space for you? Then I’m happy to explore that path with you.”
“Today? I mean, it doesn’t have to be today. But I’m feeling raw and vulnerable and sore, and it’s not fair to ask… but if you aren’t busy…” I backpedaled. “Never mind.”
He turned and reached out, capturing my chin in his palm. “I’m here, Savannah. Use your words, sweetheart. What do you need today?”
Nodding, I bit down on my lip fighting the tears. It wasn’t the fear of a new connection. It wasn’t even the embarrassment of the most handsomest man on the planet removing a butt plug. No. It was everything that I’d been keeping inside, things I thought I’d purged, leaking out via my eyes.
Savvy is brave, I reminded myself.
It took courage to explore the dynamics I enjoyed, and even more when I didn’t have any caregiver. “You know how Everleigh called me Savvy? Um, in the exam room?”
“Yes, I heard her say that. Since this was our first official meeting, I didn’t want to overstep.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing once. “Do you have a Little side?”
“Yeah. Um. Like super very Little sometimes. Especially when I get too stressed. Like today and it’s not just today,” I babbled.
“I’m listening, little elf. Go on. Please know that I’m not judging you.”
“So, I call her Savvy. And today she really needs a Daddy to take care of her, and coddle her, and maybe remind her… remind me that it’s okay to lean on someone. If you’re okay with that plan.” I closed my eyes tightly so I wouldn’t have to seethe answer I dreaded on his features before he answered me. It wasn’t right to ask, but I knew what I needed.
“Open your eyes, pretty girl. Look at me please.” He kissed my cheek.
Blinking my eyes open, I kept my gaze steady focusing on how lovely his ice-blue irises were as they stayed soft and warm on me. “Yes, Bram?”
“I have nothing pressing today. I have nowhere to be. I have nothing on my schedule. I can absolutely take care of you.”
Unable to form any sort of verbal reply, I gave him a thumbs-up with my free hand.
“Thank you for listening to what I’m saying. My only ask is that you refer to me as Daddy or Sir during our time together. You can use your colors, otherwise you’re going to leave Savannah at the door and let me take care of my Little girl. The one who decided she’d rather be alone rather than risking her heart getting broken again. I can’t promise that I’ll never upset you, but I’ll do my best not to do it on purpose. But that aside? Let me be the Daddy you need today.”
It wasn’t the promise of forever, but it was a promise he could keep for today. Finding my voice, I blurted out, “Um, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just run into the house and lock the door and never talk to you again.”
He smirked, his lip twitching as he did it. “Well, little elf, you are absolutely welcome to do that, but I let you push me away once. I’m not going to give you the chance to do it again. Not before we see where this can go.”
“I’m feeling very emotional, vulnerable, all icky inside here.” I motioned vaguely toward my belly. “And it’s not just the gallon of lube you squeezed up my butt.”
Bram rubbed his thumb across my mouth. “So, it was hardly a gallon, my dramatic little elf. But it is going to continue to pushitself out of your body. If you need to be swaddled or anything else that helps you feel better, I’m okay with it.”
Glancing at his ridiculously large hands, wondering how he might handle my body in a younger space, I looked back into his eyes. “Even with onesies and diapers and stuff? Me sucking on a pacifier? Maybe a bottle?”
“I don’t have many limits in general. As far as ageplay and Littlespace, there’s nothing that I can think of off the top of my head that would be considered a limit. If I find something, I’ll share, but we should be okay.”
“You promise?”
“Yes, I was telling you the truth, Savannah. I’ve been a Daddy many times. I very much enjoy it, and I’d love to explore with you. But I do need your consent, or your implied consent if nothing else.”
