The ball was in my court now. He had said that if I gave my consent, even without saying that word, that I let him lead. But I had to be the one to initiate it, otherwise he seemed to be too much of a gentleman to be overbearing. Which obviously flustered me. Confident, not cocky and assertive without being pushy. It was the exact combination of traits I looked for in a partner.
Before I could say anything, he leaned down, kissed my cheek and turned to leave.
“Bram,” I whispered low enough that I wondered if I’d actually said his name out loud or if it was just in my head.
He paused, so at the very least I’d croaked out some sort of noise. Turning back toward me, Bram rested his palm against the top of my door, his body touching mine.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“The roads are already bad. You should stay.”
“I can make it home just fine. I’m used to driving in feet of snow. But I appreciate your concern.” Reaching forward, he ran his thumb across my lip. “Unless you have another reason for wanting me here, I’m going to call it a night.”
“No one has made me feel desired within moments of meeting them. Has made me feel like I’m the only woman on the planet without being a total jerk. I know you said no overthinking, no strings, no expectations–”
“Shhh, little elf. I didn’t say those things without being open to the possibility of more. What I meant is that for tonight... Let me worship every single inch of you without you having to thinkabout your hangups, your insecurities, what tomorrow might bring…”
“I’ve been alone for a while. My Daddy…uhh, fuck, scratch that. My Dom….” I was flustered now, in a bad way.
Great, Savvy! Blurt out to the hot Viking that you have desires and such for things in the bedroom that many people probably don’t understand.
“Savannah.” His tone dropped lower than I thought it could. If I could just record him saying my name, I might be able to use that to get myself off for the rest of my life.
“You’re right. You have to go home,” I said, dismissing the connection entirely. It was my biggest defense mechanism. “The roads are slick and visibility is getting worse.”
“It’s okay to step outside of your comfort zone once in a while.” Bram pressed his remote starter, the engine cutting off and the doors locking. “I’ll stay. But, if you change your mind, tell me. I will sleep on your couch and when the roads clear, I’ll be on my way.”
“Okay.”
He didn’t acknowledge anything about my oversharing. I hit the code on my keypad, stepping into the foyer of my cottage. It was even more magical than usual because despite my insistence to be a grumpy grinch, Lexa, Daphnee and Deanna forced holiday cheer into my house. Forced might have been a bit dramatic. Regardless, my normally quaint fairytale-themed cottage sparkled more than usual.
Bram took off his coat and boots before assisting me out of mine. I attempted to thwart my brain from wondering if he didn’t understand what I’d meant regarding a Daddy Dom.
“Both of those roles you mentioned take time to build up that level of trust, little elf. I heard you, but your eyes filled with tears when you said it. I don’t want tonight to bring you any heartache.”
Ah, so he’d been crafting a reply. That made sense. I nodded, acknowledging his very smart reasoning. “But you’ve heard of those roles? Or like, you know what they are?”
Bram paused with my coat still half-folded over his arm, his eyes lifting to mine with a slow, assessing sweep that made my stomach swoop lower.
“I’ve more than heard of them,” he said, voice dipping into something low and certain. “I’ve filled those roles in the past, more than once.”
My mouth went dry. No way. It was one thing forViking Daddyto have the hots for me, hot in a way that could roast a chestnut without a flame, but to actually understand what I meant without explanation? I was dreaming. I had to be.
“But,” he added, hanging my coat gently on the hook by the door, “I don’t take them on lightly. And I never step into them without a willing partner who trusts me fully.”
He turned back toward me, his gaze softening. “I do understand what you’re saying and what you meant. Deeply.”
Warmth bloomed across my chest, confusing and comforting all at once. I fidgeted with the cuff of my sweater, the knit catching on my thumb. “I didn’t want you thinking I was complicated or anything. Needy. Clingy.”
“You are complicated.” Bram stepped closer, one deliberate footfall on the hardwood. “Beautifully so.” His hand hovered for a moment, then settled on my forearm. “And none of what you shared tonight scared me. If anything, little elf, itintriguedme.”
The warmth of his palm seeped through the wool of my sleeve, sending a shiver down my spine. He had a way of making me feel for the first time like I could open up to someone else. I’d told my friends, but no one else. “He left,” I blurted out. “Moved across the world. Dropped our entire dynamic and relationship at the same time. Not that I expected him to continue long distance but just for a little while, so I didn’t crash…”
“I know what it looks like when someone has been left without closure. Without care. Without the proper way to transition out of an intense dynamic.” His thumb traced a small, grounding stroke along my arm.
“It sucks so much. I found comfort in a group of other submissives who are either without partners or are in new relationships or recently broken up. Really, just any stage. Anyhow, they are worth their weight in gold. I would have just kept crying forever without them. They made my cottage look like it belonged in a holiday snow globe that was just shaken.”
Bram laughed, a good hearty laugh like he was delighted by that idea. It also broke up the seriousness of the moment. “I’m happy you have such good support, Savannah. And I know how much courage it takes to admit that you need some.”
