His scent and steady breathing envelop me, bringing me a sense of comfort.
I slowly crack open my eyes to see the sun barely beginning to rise. Truthfully, I haven’t slept a wink since we finished, but I expected that. I hardly ever sleep at this point in my afterlife. Honestly, I find it shocking how often Kai can rest—he must be carrying a lot if his body calls for rest this easily.
Last night, I was too preoccupied to take in my surroundings. During my life before, I spent most of my time outside chasing dragonflies, reading on the porch’s swinging bench, or playing games with my brother and sister downstairs. I spent the leastamount of time resting upstairs. Now that this space has been converted to a loft, it’s even less familiar to me than it was before.
Glancing around the room, I notice several new features, like the new accent chair resting in the corner nearest to me and the new bookcase taking up occupancy across the room.
I also spot a few things that transport me back to my youth. The oak beams that line the ceiling. The original brass chandelier that hangs above the fireplace. The circular stained-glass window above the fireplace.
Memories threaten to rise to the surface, and I fight them, instead molding my body deeper against him as his arm tightens around my stomach.
I fight the wide smile stretching across my face but fail pitifully.
I’ve casually slept with a few men over the last few decades, but never have I felt the desire to stay in bed after the act. Let alonecuddlewith them.
This is new territory for me.
The simple fact that he just became my favorite new blanket in a matter of only one night would be impossible for past-Cleo to believe. In fact, past-Cleo would have bet money on something like thisnothappening.
I clearly don’t know myself as well as I thought.
A quiet snore disrupts my train of thought. Then Kai bends his head down to rest on top of my own.
You know, I’ve never found snoring cute, but his is slightly endearing.
…Heavens. I’m such a mess.
Just yesterday morning, I had committed to following Kai on Earth to bring him back to Eloras. He thinks I’m here to run away with him, and as romantic as that sounds, it couldn’t have been farther from the truth… yesterday.
I don’t think I want to drag him back to Eloras unwillingly. I actually don’t know if I’m capable of it anymore. For reasons I may never understand, he actually seems to like me. He doesn’t seem like the type to lie to me.
But I, on the other hand, have withheld the truth since the moment I landed here.
And if I don’t return with him, I’ll never get my wings back.
I squeeze my eyes shut as my throat tightens. I have no one else to blame for any of this other than myself. I’m the one who let him escape down here in the first place, and I’m the one who looked the Archangels in the eye and vowed to bring him back regardless of his own desires. I was so angry at him for abandoning me that I failed to truly reflect on why he left in the first place. I assumed he didn’t care about leaving me, but obviously I misread the situation. At the end of the day, I’ve failedhim.
How on earth could I bring him back to Eloras now? Kaiwantsto stay down here—his smile has been brighter in the last twenty-four hours than it has for the last several weeks up there.
His countenance may rival the sun in the sky, but his spirit seems to long to be here on Earth.
If what he said is true, I don’t think he left with the intention to hurt me. Maybe he didn’t know I cared about him. If that’s the case, I don’t blame him. I haven’t been exactly forthcoming with my feelings, and quite frankly, I’m still not sure what to do about them. But whether I want to or not, I do care for him. Deeply.
Maybe it’d be best for me to leave and return to the realm without him now. I could plead his case for him to the Archangels and see if he can get another Earthly assignment or something so he can remain here longer.
I’d undoubtedly miss him—a lot.
I just want him to be happy, though. If that means fighting for him to stay down here where he’s happy and going our separate ways, so be it.
My chest tightens at the thought of not getting my wings back and never flying again, and tears begin to pool in my eyes. As if sensing my unease, he suddenly pulls me firmly into his side.
I release a soft sigh of relief and take a deep breath, closing my eyes as a wave of calmness washes over me.
Somehow, he always knows when I’m on the verge of cracking. It’s like he knows me even better than I know myself.
Brushing my foot along his leg, I twist to face him.
His tan skin is nearly glowing as dapples of sunlight fill the room, shining on him. His brown brows are relaxed, and his full lips are parted. I run my hand through his honey-brown waves, focusing on his hair’s thick texture. Then I trace his jaw, running my fingers across his smooth face and taking in every detail. I brush my fingers over his nose, long eyelashes, and brows, eventually landing on his forehead. I stroke his forehead lightly, and exhale.
