As he disappears into thin air and transports to the realm below, I can’t help but feel like something of great magnitude is about to happen.
And I don’t know if that something is good or bad.
Shaking the thought away, I run my hands down my night attire and release a sigh before unfurling my wings to fly home.
Everything is fine. He came back last time; there’s no reason why he wouldn’t this time.
Then, I launch into the sky, aiming for my haven below.
I have grave news.
It has been one full day.
Kai hasn’t returned.
Hadley knows.
The Archangels know.
Everyone knows.
And once again, this mess is all my fault. This time, though, I don’t give a damn about what happens to me.
I deserve this.
I deserve to be blindsided.
I deserve to be left behind.
I deserve to be alone.
It was naive to hope that his words were genuine. Foolish to hope that his feelings reached beyond friendship as mine have. Absurd to hope he would be the key to my salvation.
I should’ve known better. I’m better than this.
No more evening strolls. No more mindless work in the Library of the Sky. No more cloud-hopping. No more dancing.
Good riddance.
I’ve felt emotions over the past few weeks that I didn’t know were possible to feel beyond death. This experience reminded me how vital it is to remain cool, calm, and collected.
Allowing emotions to dictate decisionsalwaysleads to mistakes. Like the colossal one I made in trusting him. Letting my guard down was a trap. He only needed me to get back down there anyway. The next time I see Kai—if I ever see him again—I’ll be sure to thank him for reminding me of who I am.
Hell, without his betrayal, I’d be a lovestruck fool. Well, I guessluststruckwould be a more appropriate term.
True love only exists in books, and if it’s real, it’s not in the cards for me. I’m perfectly okay without it.
I gaze around my office and push aside the night we spent here, curled up in each other’s arms, hoping to forget it.
On one hand, I hope he’s struggling down there and wallowing in guilt.
On the other hand, I hope he’s filling his days with something worthwhile, like baseball games or movies he loves.
It’s funny, you know? How I can be so upset with him yetstillwish him well.
Rubbing my temples and squeezing my eyes shut, I imagine how the Archangels will punish me this time when I meet with them tonight.
Who am I kidding? It’s better this way—it’s good he didn’t fall for me. Loving me is a curse.
