“Oh, I’m shocked.” I rest my hand over my chest for emphasis. “You’re practically unbearable.”
He rolls his eyes, his lips curling into a smirk. “But then, a girl named Katherine moved to my hometown during my senior year of high school. She was a bit younger than I was, and we grew close as friends. We eventually became best friends. I still fooled around a bit with other girls throughout college, but I often caught myself wondering what life with Katherine would look like. We started dating her senior year of college and stayed together up until a few weeks before I died.”
“Weeks?Goodness, she must have been devastated,” I remark, continuing to outline the bench’s carvings. Before thinking better of it, an unnecessary question escapes my lips. “Do you think you loved her?”
“Katherine? Yeah, I loved her. How could I have not? With all our history, it would’ve been hard not to.” I stop stroking the armrest, and my chest tightens unexpectedly. Of course, he loved her. Why did I even ask that?
I clear my throat and rest my hands on my lap stiffly, leaning back against the backrest, unsure of what initiated this wave of discomfort.
“Of course,” I say, not knowing what else to say. “That makes sense, logically speaking.”
He eyes me, then lifts his arm to rest on the backrest behind me, hovering near my wings. The warmth of his touch against my feathers sends shivers down my spine. “I was the one to end our relationship before croaking, you know.”
I hate the feeling of relief that washes over me upon hearing that. “Oh. What made you do that?”
“She was ready for the next step. I wasn’t. I let her go.” Our thighs are still touching when he uses his knee to nudge mine intentionally. “Your turn. I’mdyingto hear your story.”
I let out a soft scoff.
“Fine. Listen closely—this story will be over before you know it. I’ve been intimate several times during my life. Stephen was the closest thing I ever had to a boyfriend, and I know, without a doubt, that I didn’t love him. I’m fortunate in that I’ve never fallen victim to love myself, and no one has expressed loving me in that way. Stephen may have liked me, but ultimately, I don’t think he would’ve fallen either.”
His brows furrow, and he looks down at me, all concerned-like. “It’s unfortunate—”
“It isn’t. As I said, it’s quite the opposite.”
“Let me finish, will you?” He narrows his eyes, and a faint smile grows on his lips.
Fair. Clearing my throat, I nod for him to get on with it.
“It’s unfortunate anybody ever took you for granted.” He stares intently into my eyes. “You should be revered.”
“Oh, Kai. Please—”
“No, I’m serious.” I see no trace of humor in his eyes. His fingers stroke my wing tenderly, giving me chills. “If you only knew what others see when they look at you. WhatIsee in you.”
My lips part slightly. "You shouldn't say things like that."
"And yet I meant every word."
He can’t mean that. I’m sure he says stuff like this to others all the time.
Besides, he doesn’t know the real me—what I’ve done.
If he did, he’d see me for what I actually am.
A self-serving coward.
Seventeen
Kai
Ican’t figure out what that look in her eyes means for the life of me, but damnit, I desperately want to.
She stares at me, eyes cautious… No, cautious isn’t the right word.
I can see what it is now.
She doesn’t believe me.
