“What? What is that supposed to mean?” I turn toward him, scowling.
“You called me Jasper.” He grins brightly to which I roll my eyes. After everything that has happened, I have spent time processing my situation. During our time apart, it was necessary to enforce certain boundaries and formalities. I had no idea he would be so bothered by it… okay,maybeI had an inkling he’d be a little annoyed. Although a tad petty, I don’t regret it.
“Fair enough,” I quip. I take a seat on the teakwood bench, and Jasper sits next to me shortly after, his thigh resting against mine. He told me early on in our relationship that physical touch is one of his top love languages. I relate to him on that. Consequently, when he touches me, even in small ways, I can’thelp but feel a bit special. We sit in uncomfortable silence for a couple of minutes.
“I still need time,” I finally say.
“I understand.”
“Is he here right now?” I glance over his shoulder and then around the room.
“You might be surprised to hear that I haven’t seen much of Kai recently since I told you about him,” he says, staring at a charcoal piece of an astronaut on a mountain. At least, I think it’s an astronaut—it may just be an abstract fish... “He isn’t here right now. But I am.”
A beat of silence passes between us as we prolongingly stare into each other’s eyes.
“It’s quiet in here, don’t you think?” He raises a brow. “You’re handling it well.”
“I suppose I’m getting used to it.” Suddenly, I stand up and tug on his hand, yanking him up, unsure of what’s come over me. “Here, let me show you something.”
We leave the art exhibit and wander down several different hallways until we arrive. We halt at a large display case. Inside lies some of my favorite things—my brother’s coaching jersey, his helmet from college, and a glove with his name engraved on it.
“Every member of his baseball team signed his jersey,” I whisper. “Those kids really loved him. Every now and then, one of them posts about Kai on social media.”
“I’m starting to thinkeveryoneloved Kai,” Jasper jokes.
“Well, that’s because everyone did. Kai never had any enemies—sure, he had some rivals, but never enemies,” I reminisce. “He bothered the absolute hell out of me on some days, but he never failed to make me laugh.”
“I can understand that.” He turns to face me. “I’d be lying if I said Kai hasn’t cracked me up a couple of times. He’s an odd one.”
“It’s so strange. I just can’t wrap my head around why you can see him when no one else can. Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to be able to see him, considering he is my guardian angel?”
“It would certainly make more sense for you to see him than me,” he agrees. “Kai isn’t sure why I can see him without even trying, but he told me he’s been researching it. I don’t know if we’ll ever know, Iris.” Suddenly, Jasper’s eyes flicker beyond me. I imagine Kai might have just arrived. How did I miss this so many times before I knew about Kai? Jasper isn’t the most discreet person I know.
“He’s here now, isn’t he?” I ask, to which Jasper nods. “How is he?”
“He’s more concerned with how you’re doing, Greene,” he says. Of course, he is. Kai has always been more concerned about my well-being than himself, guardian angel or not,
“I’m fine,” I say. Jasper quirks a brow, causing me to sigh. “Okay, no. I’m not fine. I’m confused. I’m overwhelmed. I’m conflicted. There, you happy?”
“Exceptionally.” He grins cockily. I begin to walk away, but he grasps my arm gently, pulling me back to his side. “You never have to hide your emotions from us, Iris.”
Us.I don’t know how to feel about that statement. I know I don’t have to hide my emotions from Jasper, and I would love nothing more than to have a real conversation with Kai, but it’s not the same. I want to hear his voice. I want to hear his laugh. I want to hear him tell me himself he’s been here the whole time because, quite frankly, I still have a hard time believing it.
“I’m going to head home.” I smile curtly, heaviness coating the thick air between us. “Big week ahead of us, with the ball and everything. I’ll see you next week.”
His shoulders droop, but nonetheless, he lets me go. When he said he would wait for me, I wasn’t sure if I believed him initially. However, I’m starting to think he meant it. Hewillwait for me.
Thirty-Nine
Kai
Well, my favorite person in the world is heartbroken. I’ve watched her grieve. I’ve watched her succumb to depression. I’ve watched her go numb. Now, I’ve watched her heart break, and I would go to the ends of the earth to put the pieces back together. But as much as I want to take matters into my own hands, it isn’t my place to fix their relationship—it’s up to them to figure their situation out. I just wish they’d figure it out sooner rather than later because the secondhand heartbreak is excruciating.
I glance out of Irie’s bedroom window to gaze up at the twilight sky, noting the balance of stars, clouds, and the moon. My eyescatch on her sleeping soundly with little Truman nestled in the crook of her neck. It could be an older sibling thing, but I’ve always been a solid helper. As a kid, my parents praised me for how good I was at helping others. Sitting idly by as Irie and Jasper attempt to overcome this is not ideal. Truth be told, a big part of me blames myself for their demise.
Why did I force Jasper to keep this a secret for so long? I should’ve known from the moment he laid eyes on my sister that he was done for. As much as I hate to admit it, I shouldn’t have stood between them for as long as I did, forcing them apart when they were clearly meant to be together. They weren’t everjustfriends—not really, at least. Damnit, I was such a cock-blocker-kill-joy-dick in the beginning, too.
After several minutes of wallowing in self-pity, I decide I need to help somehow. It’s my duty. I’m going to figure out why Jasper can see me. Maybe that knowledge will help us all out of this big mess. I stalk out of her bedroom, setting my thoughts on the one place that holds the answers we need, not caring about the consequences. When I open her front door to slip outside, I find myself back in the good ole Middle Realm.
